it feels like forever since I posted a community reading but I've been moving house, so between the packing up and looking for an apartment (again), and doing the actual lift & carry, I've been a bit absent to say the least. here it is two weeks later, and I'm just starting to get back to my routines, as the whole process was emotionally, mentally, and very physically draining, and I've needed some serious recuperation time filled with relaxation and self-care. not to mention all the astrology! how have you all managed to navigate: the Venus/Mars alignment, Chiron & Eris going retrograde, Midsummer, and the Lion's Gate portal energy? it's been a roller-coaster ride of emotional turmoil for me and mine, and I'm looking forward to the gentle energy of the next full (blue) moon on the 22nd.
image I found on the internet that I couldn't find any info on ~
for today's community reading, I'm using the Tarot of a Moon Garden because the moon is obviously on my mind. we're currently at a waxing crescent, but I'm feeling the pull to be more attuned to moon energy as the days get shorter, and we sink deeper into the dark half of the year. I know it's a weird thing to think about while we're still engulfed in a heat wave in the US, with the annual wildfires burning on our western coast, but as the weather gets ever more extreme, I'm doing my best to tune in to how the Earth herself wants me to roll with the updates. also with peri- or menopause, I'm not as aware of my own cycles, so am looking to the heavens for guidance and wisdom. here's what we got:
image shows four cards from the Tarot of a Moon Garden - The Empress/The Chariot/2 of Pentacles/The Moon, on a pastel background with horizontal silver stripes, crowned by eucalyptus, a gold-tipped feather, driftwood, and a fairy jar.
wow, look at all that creative energy in motion! I dropped one card while shuffling and set it aside, then drew the first three cards. after looking them over and hearing their message, I turned over the 'jumper' card, and would you believe it was The Moon? of course you would, because you believe in magic and synchronicity (and I posted a picture), and you know I smiled when I saw it and said, "of course." so what is it saying?
The Empress - abundance, bounty, generative fertility, She is the Garden of Eden, an Earthly paradise. all things creative and sensual, nature and nurture, coming to fruition. the spirit that fills our existence, unstructured inspiration, joyful wholeness. bring this loving, compassionate energy into your life, let it infuse your days and electrify your nights - start that project, support its growth! pregnancy? birth? who knows? be in nature, and feel thankful for all it offers!
The Chariot - authentic power and purpose, well earned victory. who can we be through the refinement of our habits and rituals once we know ourselves? "what's next" energy. confidence and control. harness this determined and triumphant energy for success - act on it with focus, push through, and win! ...and maybe there's some travel coming soon for some of you?
Two of Pentacles - harmonies dancing in the midst of change. skillfully balanced, but...are your priorities getting the attention they deserve? adapt and flow, adjust as needed on repeat.
bonus card:
The Moon - dreams, magic, mystery...honor your imagination, listen to your heart, and hold hands with your fear of the unknown. nothing is what it seems, here, so use your intuition over your thought process, feel what's right in your gut. work with the moon's phases, and it's light, for clarity and understanding. finding those hidden truths, and freeing them from the past, is the best way forward.
Tarot of a Moon Garden - The Moon card
I hope everyone has been well - and again, thank you for coming along, commenting, and sharing - this reading is
for anyone who wants/needs it! as always, I hope there's something in
here for you personally, and feel free to contact me for a private reading.
I made this amazing Rose Moon Water (pictured below) during my full moon ritual two weeks ago and a few days later, finally had the time and space to be able to bathe in it. I put some of it in a small spray bottle and used it to mist my sheets, bed, face, and space with it, and I really loved the vibe it gave off. I'd been feeling really connected to my late maternal grandmother, and I honestly think it's the roses - 'Rose' was her middle name, and she grew roses in her garden. she made it very clear that she's offering love and support to me while I've been navigating some difficult family situations in the midst of mourning my mother (her daughter), who passed away three months ago. as we're currently in a Neptune retrograde - a great time for this kind of work - I thought it would be nice to use my Rose Moon Water to help channel both my mother and her mother, and connect with them through dreamwork, where I meet with my ancestors.
image shows a glass mason jar filled with reddish-pink water infused with roses, and left out under a full moon
rose water is made by simmering rose petals in water, and moon water is made by leaving a jug of water out under the moon - during any phase; I just made this particular batch during the full moon. so I made rose water from the roses I bought for the Solstice and used in my full moon ritual, then left the rose water out in the light of the full moon, and voilà ! Rose Moon Water! moon water can be used in any of the ways that you use water - to charge and clean crystals, cleanse your energetic body, clean your home, water your plants, for drinking/bathing/cooking, basically everything! rose water also has a myriad of uses including soothing skin ailments and irritations, treating sore throats/skin redness/acne/cuts and burns...it can be used in eye drops, to treat infection, to lift your mood and soothe headaches, reduce wrinkles, aid in digestion, to cook with, and makes a great facial cleanser and toner. it's an antibacterial, anti-inflammatory, antiseptic, analgesic, antioxidant, antidepressant/anti-anxiety powerhouse! so combining the rose water's natural healing properties with the energies of the full moon, I was looking forward to a great big healing rosy hug from my grandmother before retreating to my dream sanctuary to hopefully connect with both her and my mother on the other side of the veil.
my mother and grandmother, when they were both younger than I am now. image shows two women in printed dresses seated outdoors.
the general wisdom surrounding dreamwork is that one needs to enter a dedicated scared space in which to incubate the kind of dreams that go deeper than our minds just reliving our day - into that gateway between where we can experience meaning. that this space not be our bedrooms is also part of that wisdom, though many of us don't necessarily have the ability to set up a space to sleep and dream in other than our bedrooms, so just work with what you've got. if you do have that kind of space to play with - or you if you simply want to bring some of these elements into your existing bedroom - than the colors blue (believed to reduce heart rate and blood pressure), purple, and silver (for some 'otherworldly' charm) are good choices.
lucky me, jewel-tones of blue and purple with silver accents is my bedroom aesthetic. image shows a white curtain blowing in the breeze across a blue and purple tapestry of peacocks in a tree.
for the bath, it goes without saying that the whole room be clean and tidy, but in a pinch, as long as the tub is clean, go for it. I will leave the lights off and burn a bay leaf or two to clear the energies, then run the bath. while the tub fills, I'll play some calming music or binaural beats, light some candles and incense, and place some crystals around the tub; I use quartz, amethyst, citrine, & rose quartz...if you have some moonstone, it would make the perfect addition. there's also eucalyptus hanging in my shower, so the steam from the bath should release those oils as well. I'll set out a small dish of honey to use as a facial cleanser, and in a bowl, combine:
Epsom salt
baking soda
a few drops of lavender essential oil
dried rose petals
fresh freesia petals
during this prep work, it's important to be setting one's intentions all the while. consciously listening to what the energies are telling us, moving in the ways they want us to go. this much salt/soda (cup and a half?/like a teaspoon). that much lavender (three drops, maybe). these flowers...dance with it. by now the bathroom is all steam and scent and soft sounds, and entering into it deepens a shifted mindset. my head will already be both open and focused when I pour the Rose Moon Water into the filling tub, followed by the bowl of salt/soda/scent/flower petals. and when the tub is full, it's time to call on one's guides, and step into the bliss.
image shows flower petals floating in a bath. there was so much steam it was hard to get any pictures!
soak in your delight. talk to your crystals and touch them. put some in the bath with you (careful! some will dissolve, so do your research). lay back and breathe deeply. let your head empty, your shoulders relax, and your body heal. pay special attention to any areas of your body that need it the most - massage any sore spots, scrapes, and cuts...feel where any energy might be blocked and help keep it moving. ask yourself what you need. ask your people to bring the answers to you in your dreams. also be gentle with yourself, and go slowly - these experiences can be intense.
when I'm done (usually when I start to doze off and/or the water starts getting too cold) I'll drain the tub and shower off. this is a good time to use any special towels or robes that you save for ritual occasions; I'd say it's also a good time to use any fancy body products you might like to indulge with, but after all the magical goodness I added to my bath, I just let the natural oils seep into my skin and left it at that (my skin felt like rose petals). the crystals get placed on the altar, and I'll take a moment to choose one to bring as I head to bed to dream...
Coyote Woman Dreaming by Susan Seddon Boulet
now, the dreams we go looking for don't always come right away, but if we stay alert, we'll find them! use the crystals in your work, or simply carry them around with you to keep the energy moving in a direction. do use a dream journal every morning upon waking to write down what you remember of your travels in the night ~
art by Pawel Kuczynski
*the night of my bath, I dreamt my already long hair (to my butt) reached all the
way to the floor, and whomever was there with me (Mom?) was measuring it either
against their own, someone else's, or in general. long hair in dreams
suggests growth, strength, and is an Earth symbol...the growth of the
spirit, psychic abilities, and a connection to all living things.
alternatively, it can suggest thinking long and carefully about a
decision, or concentrating on a plan or situation. also indicative of
good health, virility, sexuality, and vanity. can point to overthinking a situation and not acting.
again, thank you for coming along, commenting, and sharing - this post is
for anyone who wants/needs it! as always, I hope there's something in
here for you personally, and feel free to contact me for a private reading.
hello my darlings - I'm enjoying doing these community readings, and I hope you are getting something out of them too. this week, I didn't feel called to ask any specific questions, I just wanted to clear my mind, shuffle, and see what the cards themselves had to offer. the deck asking to be utilized for the task was the Celtic Tree Oracle - interesting because they're not really cards I use, but cards I keep because they were a gift from a dear friend, and many years ago, a deck belonging to a different dear friend gave me some profound insights into my life at that time. while there isn't a Celtic bone in my body (though there could be a past life...), I deeply respect the traditions of others, and love the natural connection these cards invite us into through the trees. as it happened, I had the opportunity to do this reading outdoors, so I sat down under a bur oak, and enjoyed the scent of wild rose in the air while paying attention to the details in the images. though there is a particular system which one is supposed to employ for their use, I know these cards well enough to know that they don't mind my freestyling. so - let's see what wisdom they have to offer us:
image shows three cards from The Celtic Tree Oracle deck on a pastel colored cloth with silver stripes. on the left we have 'Quert' (apple), in the center 'Muin' (vine), and on the right Ioho (yew). each card has the corresponding Ogham lettering in the border on each side of the center tree image, a detail below, and intricate knotwork designs all around.
Quert - Apple: ah, the apple! one of the oldest known cultivated fruits, it is associated with choice, possibly between similarly attractive options, though the options may matter less than the fact of a choice needing to be made. in Arthurian legend, apples are connected to Merlin and Avalon - a secret mystical island where the uninitiated must not eat of the fruit, for it contains the Pythagorean pentagram (the seeds in the shape of a star, possibly symbolizing divine wisdom). it was both where Excalibur was forged, and where Arthur was laid to rest, and said to come back from someday. I always think of the Greek goddess Eris in connection to apples, and the chaos she instigated with her golden apple for 'the prettiest one' that started the Trojan War, as well as the Garden of the Hesperides where that golden apple was grown.
from "How Merlin Dwelt Among His Druids in a Secret Orchard in Celyddon, in the Emperor Arthur's Time"
Muin - Vine: this card is associated with Lughnassadh/Lammas, the August 1st Celtic beginning-of-harvest-season festival dedicated to the Sun. grape vines - in the context of wine - speaks to the release of prophetic powers, letting go of logic and intellect, and letting intuition lead. permitting instinct to show you what needs doing, allowing emotion to flow freely, and openly trusting your senses to act for you. be open to noticing all the signs and omens. *at this point in my meditation of the cards I kept noticing a heavenly scent of flowers which I couldn't identify, but oh, it made me look! on my way out of the park I found the source - these wild roses in the image posted below. intoxicating! I used to work at an apple orchard, and one of the many things I learned from old Mr. Soons was that roses are in the same family as apples, as are peaches, pears, plums, strawberries and cherries. also, there's a theory that the golden apples in the Garden of the Hesperides - the "nymphs of the evening" - may really have been oranges! (signs & omens)
wild roses!
Ioho - Yew: several of the oldest trees on Earth are yews, and as such, are deeply sacred. their branches grow down into the ground to form new stems and trunks, and when the old trunk dies, new ones grow from it, giving this tree the meaning of rebirth and reincarnation. a new soul sprung from ancient roots in a new body. that the eldest of the oldest yew trees (age estimates vary between 2000 to 9000 years old) stand in churchyards shows they were previously sites of ancient Bardic/Druidic groves; interestingly enough, in 2015, one of these appeared to have changed sex (the ongoing reemergence of goddess energy in the collective consciousness?)! the longbows the Celts were known for their skill with were carved from yew, and while the needles were historically used to brew poison, it can be used homeopathically as well. this card is direct contact with your past, spiritual strength renewed, a revivification - understanding through wisdom that was always there, which we may have forgotten, or ignored. things that were, are, always will be ~
Ioho (Yew) card detail with intricate boarder knotwork, Ogham letter, center image of tree, and inset detail of trunk, needles, and berries, in muted colors.
look for an upcoming choice, which when paying attention to signs omens, calls for the possibility of a new life growing from the old one. dive deep into the well of your own understanding, and trust what you find there!
thank you for coming along, commenting, and sharing - this reading is
for anyone who wants/needs it! as always, I hope there's something in
here for you, personally, and feel free to contact me for a private reading.
it's that magical time again - the beginning of a new year! sort of...being Jewish, I also celebrate the 'new year' in September, but Rosh Hashana, with it's round challah, apples, and honey is a completely different animal than the balloons, music, silly hats, noise makers, champagne, fireworks, and ball drops that grace the stage of many a December 31st celebration in the USA. as has become our tradition - 6th year in a row! - my young man and I read out the memories we saved up during the year and relive our best times as a way to keep the positivity flowing, and our hearts grateful for all our many blessings. this year, our Memory Jar (pictured above) got packed up sometime in March, and just yesterday, we
dug it out of the box we still hadn't unpacked it from and laughed,
because there were maybe two little slips of paper in there. then we
set to writing down what we could remember in retrospect to keep the practice going. here are our respective good memories ~
him:
playing in the Ramones show
the beginning of wrestling season
new Logitech headset
getting Minecraft
new gaming keyboard & mouse
getting an 'A' in English
defeating Borderlands 2
defeating 99% of the side quests in Borderlands 2
Nintendo Switch
me:
first Friday Shabbat
'day of pampering' by local adult group - facial & pedicure done by willing male servants my birthday full blood wolf supermoon eclipse planetary alignment snowstorm!
perimenopause
while the forced move sucked hard, the new place is good...ESPECIALLY THE HEAT!
Drum Gods (Teen's show) Passover!
pics of the old place
lunch with C
Garage Rock (Teen's show)
buying legal weed
roast chicken & veggies
lots of great cooking - soups, naan, marinated chicken burrito things...
P7: Planetarium - planetary/tarot workshop Ramones! (Teen's show)
MILKSHAKE!!! (private joke between the Teen & I)
Hannukah!
new snowboots
new-to-me laptop
TALON (local band)
Firing Squad (local band)
The Adam Hendricks Experience NYE party (local band)
moving into a new 'me'
sharing traditions with my son
so, as is fitting for someone his age, the Teen's list is mostly about gaming, with a nod in the direction of his musical endeavors, and to his team sport. I have no recollection of him getting an 'A' in English (neither does his report card), but I'll let it pass, because maybe he did at the time he put the slip in the jar. it's too bad he didn't spend as much time making memories with friends this year as he did in the past, but we've been through some transitions in terms of our friendships this year, and the kids he hangs out with these days mostly interact through their computers, in the gaming world. it bothers me that they don't spend as much time outside with each other as my friends and I did 'back in the day', but it's a different world, and I'm doing my best to roll with it. though my need for him to interact with people 'in real life' was the impetus for me making him come out to the show we attended last night, and he not only had a good time listening to great music, he had fun hanging out with one friend in particular, and got lots of positive reinforcement from the other kids he knows who were also at the gig that they not only enjoy his company, but they also appreciate his musical ability, and like playing music with him. one of the kids in the band said that if he knew my son was coming to the show, he'd have asked him to do a song with them. so sweet!
for myself, I enjoyed making the effort to mark the Jewish Sabbath each week by having what we called 'Friday Night Dinner' in my parents' house growing up, which I managed to continue throughout the year, with a few exceptions for the Teen's gigs and sporting events. the 'pampering event' was held just before my 50th birthday, so it was nice to have taken that opportunity to get a bit of attention paid to myself, as I'm not in a financial position to be able to visit a spa, so this was the best I could do, and it was indulgent enough to satisfy that desire. and while ultimately, I spent my milestone birthday at home during a snowstorm, I had the foresight to pack in the supplies I needed to make it fun, and I enjoyed the crazy energy of it a great deal. you may have noticed that I added perimenopause to my good memories - that's because I'm Really Enjoying not getting my period every month anymore, and while that makes it all the more annoying when it does show up, it's been a Great transition for me, and a reminder to pay more attention to certain aspects of who I am as I age, and live in tune with who I'm still becoming. more women should feel encouraged to embrace this time in their lives with joy, in my opinion - it's truly magical!
moving out of our home of 5 years because the State took over the property we lived on through eminent domain was a rough blow, and a hard patch to navigate that nearly drove me over the edge, but we survived it, and have settled into our new place as well as 'transients' like ourselves can manage. the Teen is still in the same school, which is really all I hoped for out of the whole situation, and the apartment is nice, if out of our price range (the State was required to help me out with rent and bills, as there were no apartments that I could afford available to rent at the time they needed us to move, so...I don't feel like this story is over, but we're enjoying it while we can). even still, we did manage our first Passover Seder, such as it was, and it was good enough for us. also, since we were going to be moving, I made sure to take hundreds of pictures of the gorgeous flowers, trees, and shrubs that we had lived with during our time on that property, as well as the river, and as many of the animals as I could before they're all destroyed and/or displaced.
my son once again played in a variety of Rock Academy shows, which I enjoy to no end - they are so much fun to attend, especially when our friends manage to come out and join me on the dance floor! it seems so weird to me that I only managed to have lunch with one friend this entire year, and I'd like to make sure to spend more quality time with people I care about in the future. buying legal cannabis might not seem all that special to many, but given the history of prohibition in this country, and the war that has been waged against people of color as a result of it, being able to walk into a store and purchase recreational marijuana was Huge for me - I'll have to find the time and money to do it again! I cooked up a lot of good food this year, moving slowly and steadily towards my becoming more competent in the kitchen, and developing my skills in not only the cooking of foods, but of planning healthy and delicious meals for us more frequently, and with increasing ease. another highlight of my year was being gifted a one-week workshop in studying planetary energies, and working with them through dreams and tarot - a kind of work I used to do more regularly, but fell out of practice with as the pressures of earning a living while single-parenting took over most of my life, and squeezed out most of my hobbies and interests for those of my child. it was wonderfully renewing, and a large step towards remembering who I was before I was 'Mom', and helping to center me into my new 'becoming' as a woman past her childbearing years - what I like to call 'croning'.
'MILKSHAKE!!!" is a joke that happened between the Teen and I after one of his performances that made us both laugh hysterically for longer than was necessary, so while it's a bit inappropriate, it's funny to us, and definitely deserves a place on our list, because that kind of sheer silliness is an absolute necessity in our lives, and I fully support inappropriate raucous laughter as long as it isn't hurting anyone. for Hannukah this year, we both got gifts that we wanted and needed, and those gifts brought us both joy, which is also something I support experiencing as often as possible, and I appreciate that my friends were willing to step in and help us out with the funds we needed to attain some of those gifts for ourselves (charity and kindness are also endeavors I readily support). I was also able to attend several shows recently of local bands that I really enjoy listening to and seeing perform, and I feel thankful for being able to share that with my son, too. more of that in the new year, hopefully, as well! finally, I feel incredibly blessed and fortunate to have built up some traditions for my son to look back on, and hopefully appreciate both now, and when he (someday) has a family of his own. we have such a strong bond, and even though his teenagey-ness sometimes works my last nerve, I'm really proud of who he is, and the person he continues to become, and it's sometimes hard to believe that he's so awesome because of the ways I've chosen to make him a priority in my life, even though I constantly wish I could do more for him, or that we had more money, or that he had an active father in his life. all I can do is press on, and keep doing what I can, and do my best to do even better.
I know a lot of people who had a really awful year, and are happy to see 2019 dead and buried, but all in all, it could have been a lot worse - even given the stress of our move - and I feel like I experienced a lot of growth in positive directions, which is always welcome. so, the best of everything to everyone reading, and I hope you have a great 2020 - I'm already looking forward to a visit from a long-term friend whom I haven't seen in decades in a few weeks, my next birthday, and the Teen's 16th (oh boy...). Happy New Year, all! Baxtalo Nevo Bersh!
nighttime. the house asleep. heart thumping, the sealed jar taken down and out beneath the swollen spring moon. to the river, swiftly, through the forest. down the rocks and across the sand, to the water's edge. so beautiful...but there's little time. draw, with the big stick, a circle in the sand. mark the directions, and say hello. open the jar, hold it up, think about what's in it, how old it is, where it came from. why. place it on its side in the river. let its blood run out. set it free. is this what it was meant for? didn't it seem like it had more of a story to tell? why? what has been set loose? where did it go? too long, too long..! rinse it out and seal it up; time to go. thank those who watch over, in the opposite direction. grateful for the big stick, up over the rocks, across the grassy strip, into the trees. heart back to thumping because it's bear season, but the sounds of footsteps and a big stick meaning to be respectfully heard should be enough, and the scent they would be after is back in the river, now, anyway. the house lights comfortably close, steps slow, breathing expands out. now what?
equinox sap, rutting season.
the drums bring her back.
where the hell..? where am I now?
she wonders.
oh yeah, the River. awesome! I love these people!
her head bobs deeply with the beat as she smiles, digs the rhythm. duende. she changes her direction and does a little spin, changes it up, and one of the drums comes with her. she lets him go because she needs to steady herself after such a bold move, and find the swing again.
I was lost just a minute ago, need to balance!
so she catches the net the drum throws out, and hangs in.
right. it's time.
moving gently in waves towards the altar, she takes a deep breath and begins to gather in the energy of the drummers and the dancers, pulling it into her. she throws another spin in, but wilder, and more focused. feet stamping. arms stretching, reaching, encompassing...she throws her head back and bends her knees, then lifts the bowl, slowly, carefully, overhead. gazing up at it, and out into the heavens. she pours a smooth stream of blood over the rocks of the altar where it pools around the bases of dozens of candles, offering plates, flowers and herbs, crystals, fruits bones grains mixed with honey and wine seeping into the stones dripping into the earth where they danced
where they danced
hear us. amen.
the drums were signaling, so she came back again. swaying with the bowl in her hands, dripping its last onto the flowers before her feet, she bowed to the altar and replaced the bowl. dancing back, she turned to face the drummers, and they all met her eyes. yes. they beat the ritual out. a collective whoop from all those dancing set a seal on the night's work, and some fell to the ground, some shook out last ya-yas, and a few were left spinning...spinning...and laughing. there were sighs, and lots of breathing. then came the hugs. everyone embraced in what became an all-group mosh, with many sighs, deep with feeling and the closeness of days of journeying. the drummers joined in and all hands reached to massage arms
shoulders
necks.
of those who were hungry, they went to food.
of those who were thirsty, they went to drink.
of those who were tired, they went to sleep.
of those who were aroused, they made love.
many made love. many made it with others.
many did it roughly, like animals - out in the open, biting clawing growling, with teeth blood and bruises. like a good fight, fierce and tight. a coupling. a mating ritual. death.
three did it hidden in a grove like fairies, all soft and fluttery, breath letting out in peals and tiny gasps, exquisite. a wonder, a discovery. life.
one did it alone. and with everyone, everywhere. rebirth.
(and they had pie) his father's tools in his hands conquer the world.
this tragic hero, this...John of Arc. John of Philly, California. John of My Heart.
this motherfucker.
this work of art.
what can be said would be right? shine on you crazy diamond? I don't even know how that hurts. I can't walk the walk, and I can't talk the talk, but I do my best, so fuck off.
Gratitude: the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness
there's so much to be thankful for, and one of them - for me - is gardens and gardening. I haven't had much success with fruits or veggies at my current residence, as there isn't enough sunlight that hits my porch for long enough periods of time to grow anything edible, but that doesn't mean I haven't tried, or that I don't continue to try, every spring. posted below is an image of one of my porch gardens from several years back - it was my first try with cucumbers, and they did so well, we had wonderful homegrown cucumbers all season long. that garden also yielded radishes, lettuce, broccoli, and one tiny green pepper. there was tomato blight that year, so I didn't get any, though I do think I tried anyway. that porch got great light, so it was a pretty successful garden, overall.
cucumbers growing in my porch garden
seed starts from another garden
I grew up with an appreciation for glassblowing because it was something my mother was into, and when I was in my 30's, I worked at several different glassblowing studios and galleries as a 'tour guide', sales person, and packer and shipper, though I did have opportunities to help out in the studio (stretching cane and mixing frit, mostly), and try my hand at blowing, which is much harder than it looks.
three different artists represented by some of my collection
I'm thankful for my dad - for having known someone with such a diverse and interesting history, and being related by blood to his experiences in this world. I'm thankful for his love and guidance, his discipline and kindness, his largesse and generosity of spirit that are so much a part of who I am. he could be a hard man, and terrifying at times, but understanding where those reactions came from helped temper his anger, and in the end, we had deep, meaningful conversations around his recognition of what he considered his failings as a parent, which came about as he watched those patterns begin to repeat in the lives of his grandchildren. while he never met my son outside of my own dreams, or what one might consider to be psychic experiences, I use those later conversations as a way to inform my own parenting so as not to perpetuate cycles of violence in my own family. sometimes I get it right - sometimes, I have to ask for forgiveness. I always forgave my dad, and my teen always forgives me, too. I'm extremely grateful for the opportunity to build on that legacy.
my father's gravestone, in the Lower Galilee of Israel
for good measure, I'm throwing in these grapes that are growing at the Israeli archeological site called Tzippori, in what had been the garden area of what is known as the Dionysus House, because they've been growing there for hundreds of years, and I have a special connection to the mythology of Dionysus, Ariadne, the Minotaur, and the Labyrinth. I really wanted to eat one, but I was reluctant to violate the barriers of an archaeological site to satisfy my own greedy desire, so this image will have to do. I'm simply grateful to know they are growing there, and that I not only got to see them, but share them.
grapes from a foregone era
link to the ABC Wednesday website, link to participating blogs
we are dog people from way back. I grew up hearing stories about my great grandfather's dogs - the best of which was a German Shepard by the name of Duchess, mother to my grandparents' dog Lady, with whom my mother grew up. my father worked as a shepherd as a young teen, and while I didn't hear any stories of those dogs, I remember an old picture of my father out in the fields, with his rifle, and his German Shepard. when my dad came to the U.S. with my mother, who was in her final month of pregnancy with me, they moved in with her parents, and that first night, settling into bed next to my mom, Ayesha - the German Shepard who was part of the family at that time - got up on the bed and stood over my dad, staring him down. apparently, that was Her spot on the bed, and as nothing about him smelled at all recognizable, she was Not in any way ready to permit him to sleep in the bed next to her humans' adult pregnant child. my father, understanding innately, took the hint and slept on the floor. after that, he won Ayesha's respect, and was allowed to sleep in the bed next to his wife.
Ayesha
Ayesha was the first dog I knew and loved. according to family 'legend', she was my self-appointed protector, and when they brought me home from the hospital, she stationed herself under my crib and let no one enter the room unless they were accompanied by my mother. she also taught me how to walk by standing slowly while I had my tiny baby hands in her long, beautiful hair, and supporting me while I took one tentative step after another. her long hair was considered some kind of genetic 'flaw' to the breeders my grandparents adopted her from (distant cousins), and they only let her be adopted under the condition that they would never 'show' her in any dog competitions, which they of course promised not to do. none of their dogs were ever 'shown', and it always hurt to think that if my grandparents hadn't given her a home, she may well have been 'destroyed' for her 'flaw'. she was an angel, and it broke my heart when she died, when I was still a kid in grade school. it was the first death of anyone I loved that I experienced, and to this day, I clearly remember being at dinner at my grandparents' house, and suddenly realizing that I hadn't seen her, and asking, "where's Ayesha?", to be answered by that uncomfortable silence, and somehow knowing she was gone in that moment before they told me.
Dumbo Barley
we got our own puppy when I was very little - two or three - whom we named Dumbo for his big ears. he was a mutt from somewhere in the neighborhood, but he was the Best dog! sweet and gentle, loyal to a fault. he was trained by my dad to protect us, and I 'pitied the fool' who tried to mess with any of us unaware (no one did). there were two people Dumbo didn't like, and they were not invited back to our home as a result - one was a little girl in my class, who ended up getting into serious trouble as we grew up, and we insensitively joked that "Dumbo knew, even back then". the other was a land developer that was trying to sell my parents some land to build a house on - and our well-trained dog could hardly be controlled to keep from attacking that man. needless to say...my parents chose not to deal with him, and the house that was eventually built on that land sank into the swamp hiding beneath it. by the time I was in high school, Dumbo - who had dutifully waited at the door for us kids to get off the school bus, jumping with joy each afternoon - couldn't get up off his rug to come see us as we came rushing in to pet him where he lay whining and wagging his tail, ears flat against his head, eyes full of love, to welcome his teenagers home. he was our fuzzy brother, and his passing left us all with a hole in our hearts.
Sheba & Yaffa
after Ayesha, my grandparents brought home sister-puppies Sheba & Yaffa. Yaffa died quite young (I don't remember why), but Sheba was with us for years, though she was always a bit melancholy after her sister died. she was the last dog my grandparents had. and even though we decided we didn't want a puppy after Dumbo died, my dad came home from shopping with my mom one weekend with big, baby eyes, saying he'd seen a puppy, and wanted us kids to come see it with him while my mom stomped angrily around the house saying she didn't want another dog. she did eventually, she just wasn't ready for one that day, but my dad got his way, and brought home Misty. I moved out of my parents house a few years after that, so though they had another dog - Kushi - after Misty was gone, I didn't really know him past being my buddy when I went to visit. I found out while living alone in my first apartment how much I missed having a pet, but knew I couldn't keep a dog in a third-floor walk-up when I was out working most of the day, and partying half the night, so I started to have cats as pets, instead. I wrote a post for the cats I have known, and I considered sharing them last week for 'C', but it seemed like a cop-out to just repost an older essay, so I figured I'd share it here as a footnote.
Misty
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come on, you know you want to say apples, unless you want to sing "Alligators All Around", like I do right now!
but that's only because I saw it posted somewhere recently, and didn't play the video, so the chorus has been ringing in my head, and this seemed the perfect opportunity to listen to it. I've been thinking about doing another round of ABC Wednesday for awhile, and now that's it's back around to 'A' (I've been watching it), I jumped right in, completely unprepared. but as I mentioned above, a great many of us 50-something Americans think 'apple' when someone says 'A is for', and to follow on the theme started by Roger, who is hosting this round, I thought I'd take us back to The Unused Portion's humble beginnings:
Good to the Core!
aww! if that isn't my little monkey about to take a bite out of that Empire Apple! back when he was still just a mini-Vermonter, trying to figure out how to get along in NY, even if Mama did work at an apple orchard. and that t-shirt...it was a dress on him for years, but once he grew into it, he grew right out of it. it's long gone, now...this picture was taken the summer before he started kindergarten, when The Unused Portion was 4 months old. now he's about halfway through his first year of high school, and this blog has been active for 10 years running!
so, the history of this blog and ABC Wednesday is that I first jumped in in September of 2012, on the letter 'I', skipped 'Q', and made it all the way to 'W' before I gave up. in 2015, I gave 'A' & 'B' a go, but didn't go any further until 2016, when right around this time, I started another round on 'A', in which I commemorated the recent death of David Bowie, and that was the end of it. until now. so in the interest of getting this entry into the linkup before there's 4000 people in there, that's all I'm going to post, and start thinking up something for next week!
*and Roger's post isn't about apples, after all - it's about Alaska. I guess it's the intro post he writes for the ABC Wednesday site that was about apples. he says his favorite is the Macoun, which I always pronounced "ma-COON", but when I worked at Soons Orchard, Mr. Soons said it "ma-COW-an", and it was his farm (through his daddy and grand-daddy), so that's how I said it, too. I'm not sure about a favorite...the boy ate an Empire a day back then, so I was always flush with those, but I also liked the Gala, Winesap, Braeburn, Cameo, and Jonagolds! not working on an orchard, you kind of have to take what you can get, and at my local store, that tends to be Galas and Honeycrisp. I'm a bit biased against the Honeycrisp, though, so I never buy them! how do you like them apples?
First Friday of the New Calendar Year 11:00am
my family began observing 'Friday Night Dinner', otherwise known as Shabbat, when I was around four years old. my parents may have been observant since they'd been married, or longer...I know it was a tradition on the kibbutz where my dad grew up, and I'm pretty sure my mom grew up with it as well, like generations of other New York City Jews. my memory of it in my life only goes back that far, but it's pretty well far enough to be considered an enduring tradition in my life. my grandparents on my mother's side would usually join us, and we'd eat around the table in the dining room instead of at the 'regular' table in the kitchen. Friday Night Dinner was a major pain as a teen, because I couldn't go out with my friends or my boyfriend until it was over, and it lasted for hours. as a young adult, I never gave engaging with it a second thought, though every now and then I'd end up at one at my brother's house (he took over the tradition when his own family started growing, and our mom goes to his house, now) or at a synagogue sponsored event. I don't believe I've Ever hosted a Shabbat dinner, though I've wanted to, and even if I can't do them consistently, week after week, year in year out, with my extended family, it's still worth doing for me, for my teen, at least once. while we were cuddling on the couch this morning - our 5 minute snooze button - I was reminiscing about how his Grandma had done the same with us when we were kids, and suddenly realized it was Friday...and since we didn't have any after school/practice plans, I decided we should have Shabbat dinner! (which met with a resounding NO, of course. teens are so pleasant.)
for me, growing up, Shabbat dinner consisted of:
a clean house
traditional dress, or something between school clothes and formal wear
the 'good' dishes/silver on the big table in the dining room with the Sabbath tablecloth
lighting candles
some quick prayers
Manishevitz
challah
chicken soup
salad
main dish
side dishes
dessert
coffee
it's already 11am on Friday afternoon, and my life looks nothing like my mom's, with her cleaning lady, privilege, and years of experience being a traditional Jewish mom - but we all have to start somewhere, and the Shabbat dinners of my early youth were certainly more modest than the ones we had when I was in high school, up until I was in my mid-20's, and my parents sold that house. so my version is going to be just perfect for what it is. a first try. a leap of faith in the spontaneity of playful nostalgia. anyway, if I'm gonna get this done, I'm gonna need to get started...there's no way I can do what my mom did, with the time and resources I have, and my limited capabilities in the kitchen, but here's what I can do:
cleaning the house is gonna be a low priority in favor of getting the meal together.
I'll get dressed when it's all set to go, before serving.
setting the table - will fall to the teen when he gets home.
find some candle holders, and check to make sure I have Shabbat candles (pretty sure I do).
gotta hit the liquor store for Manishevitz...I hope they have it!
I'll need a challah, too...unless I can bake one? no, don't push it.
chicken soup...I think I have everything I need: chicken (frozen, but apparently that's ok. I already put it in the fridge to thaw, since I don't have to start it until later), carrots, celery, onion, a potato for the hell of it because I have a lot of them, salt, pepper, parsley, oregano.
salad - I've got spring mix and spinach. plus carrots, celery, green pepper, scallions, cherry tomatoes, croutons, and creamy Caesar dressing.
main dish - I think I'm going to make chili. I know I have everything for that, because I bought it all at the store yesterday.
for a side dish, maybe steamed broccoli, and also possibly green beens?
I need a dessert, unless I can think of something to make, but I'm going out anyway, so...
we don't drink coffee, but there's tea and cocoa in the house (and liquor, for that added warmth in the cup).
I need to mention, here, the two free bags of groceries that showed up on my porch by way of my dear acquaintance J, who I met through some disadvantaged women artist weekly brainstorming meeting group (they set it up, and it met at her offices) - my car recently broke down, and I remembered a few years ago I needed snow tires, and J got me in touch with the United Way who were able to help me buy them. so hoping the United Way might help me again, I called J to see if they might be able to expedite the process in any way, and to see if they could give me a ride to or from the mechanic's when the car was ready (they live close by), but we crossed communications and missed each other. BUT - they left two bags of groceries on my porch, and when I got home, the bags were waiting there for me. carrots, onions, potatoes, celery, milk, cheese, oatmeal, a whole chicken and two additional 2.5 lbs. packages, spinach, spring, mix, eggs, butter, bread, pb & j, two boxes of pasta, and two jars of red sauce...it was so sweet and kind, and welcome. I already made one pot of soup from that gift, and a pot of mashed potatoes, and I'm feeling pressured because I want to use it all before it goes bad! ugh, I'm in a race against time, here, and I have to get back to it!
12:00pm
ok, so the shopping list is simply Manishevitz, challah, and dessert, so I'm gonna run out and get that at 2pm, before I start the cooking portion of this evening's entertainment around 3 or 3:30. I'll clean up until then, and have the teen clear the table off so he can set it nicely with my Sapta Lisa's dishes that are tucked away in the back of the cabinet when he gets home. when all that's handled, the food is ready, he's showered and we're both dressed, we'll light the candles, say the prayers, serve, and enjoy!
5:00pm
chicken soup is technically done, but I'm letting it simmer for however long, and the chili is cooking, with the timer set for 1 hour. yay! got the Manishevitz and the challah, bought a box cake for dessert, because that was what I thought I could handle. I haven't even looked at the directions to see when I need to start it, yet! so, I just need to make the salad, and the sides. I wished I had thought to make mashed potatoes, and I guess I still can, because I think that goes better with broccoli, and we can just have that as one side (potatoes and broccoli), and green beans for the other. seems somehow better to me. so I guess I should go put those up if I want them to be ready...was just taking a quick break after getting it all on track!
8:15pm
That. Was Freaking. Fantastic. I just hosted my first successful Shabbat dinner! I made: chicken soup with carrots and noodles, a pot of chili, roasted potatoes/broccoli/garlic, steamed green beans with butter, and a salad. the teen came home in a mood, and made a big show about how much he hated everything and how my asking him to shower, dress, get out a tablecloth, clear and set the table, find the candle holders and get two candles to put in them, was the most heinous thing I ever could have asked of him, but I gave him a firm talking to, told him his tomorrow's freedom depended on his willingness to participate in my rather important to me endeavor tonight, so he complied, and he even got in the spirit in the end. once the food was ready, he was ready, and the table was ready, I got ready, and he actually took a picture of the table. then we lit the Shabbat candles, said the same prayers my dad used to say, from his book, sipped the wine and broke the bread, and sat down to our meal!
the teen had two bowls of soup, most of the green beans (I was allowed a spoonful), and one scoop each of chili and roasted veggies, but no salad. I ate Everything...I'm so stuffed! Success! after we cleared the table and set all the leftovers aside to cool, he was released to play video games while I did the dishes, filled the tupperware containers to pack into the fridge and freezer, mixed the cake, and put it in the oven. just as I decided to check in again, the timer went off ~ ~ ~ needs more time, which is fine; it gives me more time to finish the paragraph while the cake cools for 15 minutes, at which point, we will finish off our Sabbath meal extravaganza, and put a big, gold star in my Jewish Mama book. feeling pretty good, yes I am!
cake was both moist and fluffy, with gooey chocolate bits mixed in. we didn't even get to the cocoa...food coma now. zzz...
*based on the teen's dad posting "My guitar says it needs a band soon, or it's moving to LA. and taking the amp with it." on facebook, I've been hearing one of my all time favorite happy songs play in my head (I posted it in his comments, wondering if he remembered it, how much I loved it, and doubted he did), which I played while cooking. well, for about 6 minutes of the cooking, because I went ahead and played it twice.
my son and I are cat-people, and some of my stories of overseas travel involve cats. Israel was no exception, and he quickly learned the Hebrew word for cat (chatool) and would call them out when he saw them. at Masada, I let him and his grandmother off at the entrance while I went to park the car, and in the parking lot, I ran across these cute kitties, and snapped off a shot to show my son when I got up to where he was.
now my darlings - I have been up Masada a few times. the first when I was 8, hale and hearty to climb a desert mountain in the pre-dawn. and again when I was fifteen, the day before my foot got messed up in an evening brawl with a hotel window. then in the days after my brother's wedding, of which I wrote about several years back, and reposted recently (but here it is again: Remembrance). this time, with my mom on a cane, and me not in the best shape of my life, I shamefacedly took the...*gasp* cable car...to the top of Masada. it's not the experience I wanted for my son, but without my dad there to lead the early morning expedition, I felt ill-prepared as a substitute. turns out the Snake Path was closed due to high winds, so I can use that as my excuse...
too bad this terrace was locked - it would have been cool to have a pic of my boy where I have a pic of my parents.
nice tub
Herod and his bathing obsession
where they found the 'lots'
and the cable car:
my dad was in my head the whole time we were up there.
we spent that night (and the next morning) at, and in, the Dead Sea:
at the gas station shop
across from the station
my pixelated kid floating halfway to Jordan
innovative design water fountain
on our way back North, we stopped for a quick lunch at the Elvis American Diner, just outside of Jerusalem:
before arriving in Tel Aviv.
there was some fun graffiti in the parking garage:
some random shots from around the city:
gorgeous flowers everywhere
nice find
funny, to those of us, who...well, if you get it, there it is 😊
someone discovered schwarma is more than the punchline to a joke in an Avengers movie...
...and they have this cool electric hand tool to cut it, now!
day city
city beach
night city
some random shots I felt like sharing:
roadside foliage, bursting with color
does the one on the right look suspicious to you?
the rare and elusive teen 'What Bird'
I hope you enjoyed sharing our vacation, we enjoyed taking it!
