tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27400558899787126902024-03-17T23:03:04.126-04:00The Unused PortionJust whatever's on my mind...Mama Pajamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10278474039105398842noreply@blogger.comBlogger329125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2740055889978712690.post-83223670156734910032022-08-23T04:43:00.009-04:002022-08-24T09:26:05.156-04:00travelogue<p>on July 30th, 2022, my son and I packed up a moving truck and our car, took our cat, and headed to <a href="https://www.montpelier-vt.org/">Montpelier, Vermont</a>. having lived in Vermont for 12 years, I couldn't wait to return after foolishly leaving the Green Mountains for New York State when my son was 3 years old. you see, I grew up in New York, and when I left, I swore I'd never go back. but I took a chance on repairing relationships with my family before all the old people died, and while that went swimmingly at best, my chance to go back to Vermont has finally come. I mean, it came 15 years later than I originally intended, but my son wanted to graduate high school with his class, so I stayed for him, and we had some good times along the way. but graduate he did, and not only is he going to go to college, he's going to college in Vermont, and I couldn't be happier!</p><p> </p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPAAHjUowk2EGsHBAabynE-FP6lo1v8GBq3VSBWwkdYyUrEXxyNvj84x7yPsAQTJA4uvsunjF4Rcr6zEIcOwvpzWHWP8chUjRhF7e0yK8Jns1hvAI-3mLpyit6t9rwhg0s7f-3rmSye2JnHc1kBI8BN77p0MSXEcygd0fYKerrLYgNowljYO45q4e2nA/s2016/IMG_0894.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2016" data-original-width="1512" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPAAHjUowk2EGsHBAabynE-FP6lo1v8GBq3VSBWwkdYyUrEXxyNvj84x7yPsAQTJA4uvsunjF4Rcr6zEIcOwvpzWHWP8chUjRhF7e0yK8Jns1hvAI-3mLpyit6t9rwhg0s7f-3rmSye2JnHc1kBI8BN77p0MSXEcygd0fYKerrLYgNowljYO45q4e2nA/s320/IMG_0894.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">so proud of my Teen!<br /></td></tr></tbody></table><p> </p><p>well, I <i>could </i>be happier, if we're being honest, because unfortunately, the housing we thought we had ended up falling through. not to worry, though, because I am in intrepid traveler, and though it's been a challenge to get through this experience with a pissed-off, stressed-out teenager and his rather demanding cat, I am navigating these waters as best I can with the tools I have. so I thought I'd tell you a bit about how that's been going...</p><p>we originally landed at the house of someone I used to know (more on this in the <a href="https://theunusedportion.blogspot.com/2022/08/the-landslde-bringing-me-down.html">last post</a>), and spent the first few days of August settling in, enjoying the gorgeous late-summer weather, and starting all the processes of establishing residency, such as transferring my car registration/insurance/driver's license, looking for more permanent housing, and going to job interviews. unfortunately, due to unforeseen circumstances, we had to leave our landing pad much sooner than anticipated, and without having made any advance plans, fell prey to the price gouging at local hotels like the <a href="https://www.bestwestern.com/en_US/book/waterbury/hotel-rooms/best-western-plus-waterbury-stowe/propertyCode.46014.html">Best Western Plus in Waterbury - Stowe</a>. now, to be fair, this was a cushy room that came with two gigantic fluffy beds (I prefer a firm mattress), lots of pillows, wifi, tv, lots of parking, a pool and fitness center (much to the Teen's delight), and a delicious buffet breakfast that included most American favorites, and then some. they claim to be pet friendly, but we were so fried when we got there, we forgot to ask, and just chose to sneak the cat in, and keep the room immaculate so they would never even know she was there. we ended up staying two days and splitting the bill, which ran us about $300/night each. though the Teen really liked the accommodations, I didn't like the price. oh...I forgot to mention the tub! it was HUGE! and I filled it all the way up with hot water, and had a good soak. the tub alone was worth the price, but at those rates, there was no way we could even afford to stay as long as we did.</p><p> </p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyZ-lykaH-7O8Ku-mwITQVvDE2f74JAI5vovRdM_if_7LmDoPs6r8f0q8f7ygjYvsGghg02nOjbFn6ovymVlilITielxefNQM104qda87SBzGtgdZ5z6PidBJxgNqoxQJ64C9po2KtVRi54NjgELdvNwH_xghQt2zy_-XTncWOhYaqOe3W-6flozuEJA/s2016/IMG_1028.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2016" data-original-width="1512" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyZ-lykaH-7O8Ku-mwITQVvDE2f74JAI5vovRdM_if_7LmDoPs6r8f0q8f7ygjYvsGghg02nOjbFn6ovymVlilITielxefNQM104qda87SBzGtgdZ5z6PidBJxgNqoxQJ64C9po2KtVRi54NjgELdvNwH_xghQt2zy_-XTncWOhYaqOe3W-6flozuEJA/s320/IMG_1028.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">while my chronic lower back issues didn't appreciate the softness of the bed, our cat Nahiri certainly did!</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"> <br /></td></tr></tbody></table><p><br /></p><p>from there, we still weren't entirely sure where to go or what to do, so we ended up back in my old college town, at a local campsite I knew of, but had only been to once for some reason I can't remember. the proprietress there is pretty sharp, and figured out that we were homeless, so I just told her the whole story, and while she agreed to let us stay for a few days, she insisted we have a tent, and not sleep in the car. since my tent and camping gear are buried in the back of the storage space because I didn't think we'd need them (mistake) we ran off to the closest big box store I wouldn't normally shop at (but these weren't normal circumstances) to buy a tent, some blankets, and food that can cook over a fire (burgers). we spent a perfectly lovely few days by the <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Winooski_River">Winooski River</a> at the <a href="http://www.onionrivercampground.com/#home-section">Onion River Campground</a>. now, if I had planned to go camping, this is definitely the kind of place I would choose. it's clean and quiet, with a rustic bathhouse, trails, blueberries to pick, and plenty of room between campsites. many of the folks there were set up for long stays, and I admired the effort they put in to making their campsites appear homey, with outdoor furniture, fenced areas for their pets, flowers and plants, twinkly lights, wind chimes, and more. I want to be one of those people someday!<br /></p><p> </p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSmWx794L06-LReTIBeFtDiabgzzCz45mRO1HJEq6i0fh51xjVZA5BeA7g_u0MqsaCGfY-IWeHw70G3aqZMpNy6Ar-MczMDZKHdoAE3QwZH2tiynxCCg5mK08WCv5qag8i8CzTtMwb9iBUt1X5otbVXgZq26wwvR_NhJxGQgJ4fAll3wg4R6e6wKSmxA/s2016/IMG_1033.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2016" data-original-width="1512" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSmWx794L06-LReTIBeFtDiabgzzCz45mRO1HJEq6i0fh51xjVZA5BeA7g_u0MqsaCGfY-IWeHw70G3aqZMpNy6Ar-MczMDZKHdoAE3QwZH2tiynxCCg5mK08WCv5qag8i8CzTtMwb9iBUt1X5otbVXgZq26wwvR_NhJxGQgJ4fAll3wg4R6e6wKSmxA/s320/IMG_1033.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">we were camped on 'the beach', which you can see on the map at the link.</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr></tbody></table><br /><p>now, our cat has never camped before, or been in a hotel room, or traveled long distances in a car...and she <b>did not</b> like the tent. in the middle of the night she started pacing around and yowling, then she started scratching to get out, so I got up (I wasn't really sleeping anyway - lower back issues) and took her in the car so she couldn't slip off into the night. neither of us was happy, and I got no rest. I think we may have spent another night or two in the car before deciding to spring for another motel room, this time the <a href="https://marshfieldinn.com/">Marshfield Inn & Motel</a>, and their glorious pet-friendly room #8 for $124/night! my mom enjoyed staying at the Marshfield Inn a few times back in the day when I lived in the area, so it felt nice to be there again, now that my mom is gone. we were exhausted from bouncing around, catching random meals here and there, and dealing with the cat's distress, so it was nice to have a respite where we could all sit comfortably in our own space and stretch out, the cat could take her harness and leash off and move around freely, we could shower, connect to wifi, make use of the mini-fridge and microwave, and I could SLEEP on a Firm bed (praise all the deities!). it was a good few days. <br /></p><p>after that, when we'd been driving around without a place to go for so many hours I needed to get off the road for everyone's safety, we got ripped off at the <a href="https://www.choicehotels.com/vermont/montpelier/comfort-inn-hotels/vt004">Comfort Inn & Suites at Maplewood</a> who said we could have a room for $220/night, but charged my card $320 instead. when I went back to the front desk to discuss the issue, the receptionist was incredibly rude, though eventually agreed to refund me $100. she didn't, but she did refund me $50. when I called to complain about that, they called me a liar and hung up on me. so who cares about the amenities there, because they suck, and no one should go there, ever. and their breakfast was bland and tasteless. ugh. I hate them so much for taking advantage of me like that, and I'm getting angry all over again! luckily for us, the Marshfield Inn had another pet-friendly room available, so we jumped at the chance to stay there again.<br /></p><p>this room - room #9, still a bargain at $144/night - has a small kitchen that comes with a mini-fridge/freezer, counter & sink, a hot plate, and pots and pans to cook with. also some cups, dishes, utensils, and other amenities. I can't even tell you how happy my son was to be able to cook a few meals! to be fair, he much prefers the fancier hotels with the pools, fitness centers, and squishy beds, but I'm happier in Marshfield with a fan rather than a/c, the peace and quiet, the hiking trails and swimming holes, the general stores, and the view. while we were waiting for the room, we took a ride up to Danville where I remembered from my college days the <a href="https://www.dowsers.org/">American Society of Dowsers</a> had a little bookstore and a labyrinth. the bookstore was closed, but it was lovely to walk the path overgrown with mint and clover that smelled so good as my sneakers gently crushed them, soaking through with morning dew. and once we saw a sign for the <a href="https://www.vermontcornmaze.com/">Great Vermont Corn Maze</a>, there was no stopping my pursuit of joy within all the chaos!</p><p> </p><p></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0qEgSYNFRNgcV1S8OZtVladvb-xIzhdCc6vSrQbfD9PRfjZyF7jLNtHBOxNG1I6XFrlZEHmGXgZWhShxm_VdDQFrWkS10Kz0i1miLket-0Munyodj5UydZm9xsuNipU2uArM-5H4Ksvrxd4U8o0iV5jO_EAAQBRpF8ojX3g6gJPmeV_PuYr93NmTZ-w/s1280/IMG_1055.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="1280" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0qEgSYNFRNgcV1S8OZtVladvb-xIzhdCc6vSrQbfD9PRfjZyF7jLNtHBOxNG1I6XFrlZEHmGXgZWhShxm_VdDQFrWkS10Kz0i1miLket-0Munyodj5UydZm9xsuNipU2uArM-5H4Ksvrxd4U8o0iV5jO_EAAQBRpF8ojX3g6gJPmeV_PuYr93NmTZ-w/s320/IMG_1055.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">the labyrinth path is a bit overgrown, but if you know the way, you can find it ~<br /></td></tr></tbody></table><br /> <p></p><p>the corn maze was great fun - there are options to explore <a href="https://www.vermontcornmaze.com/big-maze">the BIG Maze</a>, which <span class="caption-inner" id="1813378196">"covers 24 acres and is approximately a 3 hour hike complete with 100' of bridges", but we did the <a href="https://www.vermontcornmaze.com/scenic-maze">Scenic Maze</a> because I figured "</span><span class="caption-inner" id="1759876367">a 40 minute hike through the BIG Maze using directions found along the way" would be enough of a challenge for me, and it definitely was! we also chose the option to collect 4 'journey stones' along the way, but I liked them better than the reward you were supposed to turn them in for, so I kept them, and bought the reward anyway! the <a href="https://www.vermontcornmaze.com/Projects">kids' area</a> looked like so much fun, but I was struggling at that point, and didn't have the stamina to play. the little store at the end of the trail had candy, ice cream and drinks, t-shirts, postcards, and other little ephemera to commemorate your visit, as well as an <a href="https://www.vermontcornmaze.com/aerial-photos">aerial photo</a> of the mazes through the years (all the way back to 1999!) so you could see the areas you hiked through if you took notes, which we did. </span><span class="caption-inner" id="1813378196"></span>they're also a <a href="https://fourtownlowlines.com/">beef farm</a>, and we would have bought some of their beef if we had known we would have a way to cook it later! as the kids say, "100% would recommend"!<br /></p><p> </p><p></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8uwqvUga2Ja0xBWlA-Id5PQE-32pINybefWgQc6zR8xFZPvRs2OZXNk0-pY7_MMVmlPqDNEjTSNOPJ7inNAuKSiq3Cn5ks4zcdFUqymWScnNy9ATlcPKy5qjC8iXqq2rjSgBJoRYatR4cXRjm99IZ9gp4BEDWIwsGXikeQLFgnV__iHiwt3UYg8pWTQ/s4032/F2C506F5-4A19-4ED4-9044-C66B31C2E5B9.jpeg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8uwqvUga2Ja0xBWlA-Id5PQE-32pINybefWgQc6zR8xFZPvRs2OZXNk0-pY7_MMVmlPqDNEjTSNOPJ7inNAuKSiq3Cn5ks4zcdFUqymWScnNy9ATlcPKy5qjC8iXqq2rjSgBJoRYatR4cXRjm99IZ9gp4BEDWIwsGXikeQLFgnV__iHiwt3UYg8pWTQ/s320/F2C506F5-4A19-4ED4-9044-C66B31C2E5B9.jpeg" width="240" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"mayday! mayday! I appear to be piloting this vessel incongruously named 'French Toast' through a large field of corn, please advise!"<br /></td></tr></tbody></table><br /> <p></p><p>after another few days at the Inn, we had another night in the car before stumbling upon the <a href="http://www.fireflybb.com/">Firefly B&B</a> in Lincoln. they claimed to be pet-friendly, yet hadn't counted on someone traveling with a cat, though after chatting with her a bit about our situation, the proprietress - Issy - agreed to let us stay as long as our kitty stayed in the room, and generously discounted our room to $90/night (cash or check only - no credit cards). that was fine with us, as we were getting up early the next morning to head to our storage space to pick up my son's trunks and bins for college, and we needed a safe place to stash the kitty while we drove back and forth all day. it was hard, but we got it done...well, the Teen got it done, I was mostly useless other than as the driver. then I cried as I made my way back to the Firefly alone, for my first night as an empty-nester, without even a nest. good thing I stopped for a creemee on the way back...if you don't know, in Vermont, soft-serve ice cream is called a creemee, and it's pretty serious business in this state. we all have our favorites, and we swear by them!</p><p> </p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQzEy14nY7JJisdP6_xjpCtWnGDJuu2qR2Z2nM39bc4B9s6iNlNZmNkWVpptBRx_12_sfWz0j5fAqyRuGmZ8HWKxJn_yD6p009NUQvRbTk5iA16Vjjd6aiS1r67-wkD77kS_jfFvycVRAvRoJrWvo_8sgEtllHPSFMvaTWWXbDcROpovOeIJNA5VnmPA/s2016/IMG_1092.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2016" data-original-width="1512" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQzEy14nY7JJisdP6_xjpCtWnGDJuu2qR2Z2nM39bc4B9s6iNlNZmNkWVpptBRx_12_sfWz0j5fAqyRuGmZ8HWKxJn_yD6p009NUQvRbTk5iA16Vjjd6aiS1r67-wkD77kS_jfFvycVRAvRoJrWvo_8sgEtllHPSFMvaTWWXbDcROpovOeIJNA5VnmPA/s320/IMG_1092.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">this one came from <a href="https://www.papanicksvt.com/">Papa Nick's</a> in Hinesburg - it was <a href="https://braggfarm.com/">Bragg Farm</a> good, but not <a href="https://www.dairycreme.com/">Dairy Creme</a> or <a href="https://www.crossroadsbeverage-deli.com/">Crossroads</a> good! 😀</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><p>so, my son's 'summer of homelessness' ordeal is over, and he has a little bit of time to relax into his new surroundings and collect himself before classes start in a few days. I've mostly been parking in places like the two local synagogues that I know of, and my old college library parking lot to take naps, but I can't ever really get a full 5 hours of rest in the car, let alone more. and then I'm falling asleep every five minutes, and shouldn't be on the road. so, I finagled a deal with the innkeeper at the Marshfield Inn & Motel for one of their pet-friendly rooms for a week, at a greatly discounted rate (just under $400 for 6 days). they gave me room #9 again so I have the little kitchen, and I think the cat feels safer here because she's already been here a few times. I can't believe it's been almost a month of this already, and I still don't feel any closer to being settled in terms of having housing, any social services, or a job. there's no way I could keep a job with all the moving around, and sleep-deprivation! so I need some help to pay for the room this week, and I've mostly been using my time here so far to figure out where I'm going to stay next, and see how many tarot sessions I can fit in while I'm stable enough to do a few readings. </p><p> </p><p></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMkUrTRo4mdvrbhDepHJkVtTAEg7J9BKCyu4XsIWqgVV3kSvN8N88HvDTdudQMccctWYYVM-CqMfjUnsFKcqZyLoQEO3D7GaX9hOctxYYAW7F6PwVaARNLAY9_5RjY_-W6_JboiO6hKg_j-nZzt-VaC-9qORWh1qJOQsh1MOo_FrWEnCCcT--m-U_Oww/s2560/20220124_124857.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2560" data-original-width="1536" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMkUrTRo4mdvrbhDepHJkVtTAEg7J9BKCyu4XsIWqgVV3kSvN8N88HvDTdudQMccctWYYVM-CqMfjUnsFKcqZyLoQEO3D7GaX9hOctxYYAW7F6PwVaARNLAY9_5RjY_-W6_JboiO6hKg_j-nZzt-VaC-9qORWh1qJOQsh1MOo_FrWEnCCcT--m-U_Oww/s320/20220124_124857.jpg" width="192" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">magicians</td></tr></tbody></table><br /> <p></p><p>I haven't made it up the hill to visit the person who's caring for my houseplants in at least a week, and I do need to visit my plants, I miss them so. the Teen is being standoffish with me and not answering my texts, and the cat misses her favorite human and is being overly clingy. I'm hoping to see if I can't find someone to foster her for a bit while I navigate the 'next step', whatever that may be - and I hope it's some form of employment, because I need the cash. if you can't tell from the above commentary, all these rooms and driving around have blown a hole in my finances, and I still have expenses to cover, including helping the Teen out with any college related needs, and litter/food for his cat. and let's all keep a prayer in our hearts for my dear car, without which, none of this would be possible. I hope you enjoyed this 'trip around Vermont', and that you feel compelled to send some funds our way - I'm happy to offer you a tarot reading in return.</p><p style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.gofundme.com/f/miriam-mysteriam-and-teen-need-a-home">this is a link to the gofundme a few of my friends set up</a></p><p style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/mysteriamb">this is a link to my paypal </a></p><p style="text-align: center;">thanks!</p>Mama Pajamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10278474039105398842noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2740055889978712690.post-55577257779626509532022-08-17T10:22:00.002-04:002022-08-21T17:58:48.773-04:00the landslide bringing me down<p>you know, I'm not much of a Stevie Nicks fan, though I've always liked the song "<a href="https://youtu.be/tzsf72lYLo0">Landslide</a>"...I kind of hold her responsible for millions of hippie chicks in lacy gowns thinking they can appropriate an ethnic slur against Roma people as a lifestyle and culture...but if she didn't know, she didn't know, I guess. it's 2022 now, and we should all know better. apologies are being made. <a href="https://theunusedportion.blogspot.com/2018/11/appropriation-soup.html">awareness is being raised</a>. it's not ok anymore (someone alert Cher, as well, please).</p><p> </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMrUaBNsZ84UmRhb59PRvTLRimUEh-GLFZNHxk3kMw2Dhg9CuV5tySA8EdXkgBivDLM45w7OsyeOL3c883jzA6LebGEOoVBYaz_46rbPs5tNJEkAV1wZXPSK2BR5haRe8NUD1josGP45qezVzg2ugUajApb9qzAFRpHRlbIFZsVlNpZ90b_LJboZ5fHw/s290/index.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="174" data-original-width="290" height="120" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMrUaBNsZ84UmRhb59PRvTLRimUEh-GLFZNHxk3kMw2Dhg9CuV5tySA8EdXkgBivDLM45w7OsyeOL3c883jzA6LebGEOoVBYaz_46rbPs5tNJEkAV1wZXPSK2BR5haRe8NUD1josGP45qezVzg2ugUajApb9qzAFRpHRlbIFZsVlNpZ90b_LJboZ5fHw/w200-h120/index.jpg" width="200" /></a></div> <p></p><p>I watched a video this morning of Stevie singing "Landslide" in front of a video memorial for her dad who died in 2005, and of course it made me cry. lots of things make me cry now. used to be, I didn't cry at all, and was proud of it. then I learned to not be such an impenetrable stone all the time and to be proud of the fact that I had enough heart and soul to cry. then I had a baby and couldn't watch tv any more because the news made me cry...and commercials. now, as I approach what I consider to be my 'official menopause date', I can and will cry about anything and everything, because my heart is simply broken completely open by the wisdom and humility of life (my personal Kabbalah). </p><p><br /></p><p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPtT8h1PpwYn5ewV7a9-erm1P8PhGRNgA_yxT4-NzKny_Tut8-qlIHg8sH-2suPAoGhuAOVsU6EPf2AEeJHquiTWbJl-pli7ZVZX4teO6WgTzaLhxJrGSjVI-ONBEzxeobS7sONrLMUGvKG9bxz5aL4uww6WLwPDyzECWT3lo6mwn1nqPQd6RU8Y16dQ/s1066/9c546fd3b6969aa80426a59bba4070a9.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1066" data-original-width="750" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPtT8h1PpwYn5ewV7a9-erm1P8PhGRNgA_yxT4-NzKny_Tut8-qlIHg8sH-2suPAoGhuAOVsU6EPf2AEeJHquiTWbJl-pli7ZVZX4teO6WgTzaLhxJrGSjVI-ONBEzxeobS7sONrLMUGvKG9bxz5aL4uww6WLwPDyzECWT3lo6mwn1nqPQd6RU8Y16dQ/w141-h200/9c546fd3b6969aa80426a59bba4070a9.jpg" width="141" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">King Solomon w/birds<br /></td></tr></tbody></table> </p><p>I'm dropping my son off at college tomorrow. that's...huge. on a number of levels. first off, I've raised my baby alone from the moment of his conception. I will not negate his father's contribution of the minimum amount of child support required to be in compliance with the current laws, but to be clear, his involvement truly has been minimal, for which I have apologized to my son profusely. my son has very little family other than me - he didn't really get to know my Sapta (maternal grandmother) before she died, and has little memory of her, though he does have fond recollections of my Zayde (maternal grandfather). my dad and his parents were long gone before my son was born, and though he had my mom in his life until she passed last year, we weren't always on good terms with her. there was a brief minute when my brother allowed his three kids to accept their little cousin as a member of their family, but he cut what loose ties he had with me/us, irreparably damaging those relationships, and they will most likely take more work than most people care to do to repair them, so I don't have much hope that they will be. my point is, this kid has mostly had to figure out how to be in this world on his own, with his closest non-Mom people being his guitar teacher, his show director, and his wrestling coach, in that order. so...yeah. a mostly solo project with some honorably mention-able supporters.</p><p> </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYuRNgqvaI5_GdxY7rR3TY1YHZ-gV6XEpjA1wq1kVC-O-DGRhj-wSMm66uRHkz1wOSdSo4hvEQoh4TKJ6Db-ngwaPBvAxirAenoTGuNvkXgwXpLe6T-X65htSjR-s0rxQlHOeghgA1-Wha9DWzJJCpWsf3fCt5wy9DKlm-f7oAGSKxtALk0TunySdHAg/s960/starchild.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="720" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYuRNgqvaI5_GdxY7rR3TY1YHZ-gV6XEpjA1wq1kVC-O-DGRhj-wSMm66uRHkz1wOSdSo4hvEQoh4TKJ6Db-ngwaPBvAxirAenoTGuNvkXgwXpLe6T-X65htSjR-s0rxQlHOeghgA1-Wha9DWzJJCpWsf3fCt5wy9DKlm-f7oAGSKxtALk0TunySdHAg/s320/starchild.JPG" width="240" /></a></div> <p></p><p>do you know how I got my son into the prestigious and expensive Paul Green Rock Academy? I emailed Lisa Green and offered to do any number of things for her in exchange for a scholarship - write, edit, proofread, take photos, answer phones, scrub her toilet with my toothbrush. so she agreed to a meeting with me where she explained that she had people doing all those things for her, except scrubbing her toilets, so she let me clean the building in exchange for my son's lesson and show fees. and not only did I do everything in my power to go above and beyond for the Green's and their <a href="https://rockacademy.com/">Rock Academy</a>, my kid did, too. when Paul and Lisa left, and Jason and Acacia took over the school, we didn't know if he would be allowed to continue, but they generously allowed him to stay with the program on a full scholarship until he graduated from high school. I don't know who pulled what strings behind which closed doors in order for that to happen, but I will forever be grateful to them for that gift.</p><p>so here we are, after 18 (19 counting my pregnancy) years of this journey, in the same place we started - homeless in Vermont. how did we get here again? well...as a single mom making minimum wage, I can't afford an apartment anywhere in the United States on my paycheck, so I jumped at the chance to apply for a section 8 voucher, which has almost saved us from homelessness over the past decade, though not entirely. a lot of landlords don't like doing the paperwork that section 8 requires, so refuse to rent to voucher holders, which is illegal, but there are a million ways around it. one of which is to count on the fact that voucher holders don't have the money/time/knowledge to take them to court, and if they did, and they won, they still wouldn't have a place to live. it's a lose-lose situation. I had been living in Vermont for over a decade when my son was born, and when he was 3, I took a chance on moving to NY to be closer to my family...it didn't work out. we stayed in NY for another decade and more, as we simply moved north near some friends of mine from the 'old days', though after not so long, I found myself regretting leaving Vermont at all. </p><p> </p><p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2AWFpqmQEgpTJYIqZgx01Y3x_79_EHzYccE80WEtIRwz9HVRd-8Sc-RQvtDSz44FwQ0oLnWh-S1Ere7S9PVWXprvsqCEEtFmcVYbkqr4T2DDKiBdHXrrWhbitw-PRqLObxFPWMFtbwDgN6_d4BuRgfTnEsRzBcAvIwl0q81VlePEE_j5K2Tl9r4BLXQ/s4032/37528DAC-94BD-4343-BB85-029CA42EF7AD.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3024" data-original-width="4032" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2AWFpqmQEgpTJYIqZgx01Y3x_79_EHzYccE80WEtIRwz9HVRd-8Sc-RQvtDSz44FwQ0oLnWh-S1Ere7S9PVWXprvsqCEEtFmcVYbkqr4T2DDKiBdHXrrWhbitw-PRqLObxFPWMFtbwDgN6_d4BuRgfTnEsRzBcAvIwl0q81VlePEE_j5K2Tl9r4BLXQ/s320/37528DAC-94BD-4343-BB85-029CA42EF7AD.jpeg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">just one of many beautiful views in VT<br /></td></tr></tbody></table> </p><p>Vermont was a dream I would return to after the boy was grown and didn't need me anymore. Vermont was where I would go 'next', as with me, there's always a 'next'. there were plenty of times I would have gone before now, but my son wanted to stay with his class in school until he graduated, so I stayed for him. I cooled my hot feet and stayed put to the point of breaking, but I made it. we still had to move fairly frequently as our rentals kept getting yanked out from under us by unscrupulous landlords raising the rent past my affordability, the State taking over the land through eminent domain, or other unscrupulous landlords taking advantage of the pandemic to sell their house/my apartment to an airbnb developer further adding to the issue of local workers not being able to find or afford housing in the communities in which they work and live... but we managed to stay housed for a good stretch, and I did spend a good amount of time looking for apartments in VT before we pulled up roots in NY and moved, and though I wasn't able to find anything by the time we had to leave, I did have a place to land when we got here. or so I thought.</p><p>what do you do when someone you've known for 20 years and more calls you up one day and says they're doing really well with their recovery? that they're housed, in school, taking real steps towards getting their life back on track, and seeking employment? what if they're really excited to hear you're coming back, and want to help support you on the way? what if they see you not finding housing and offer up their living room as a place to call home for a minute, until you find what you need? am I a poor judge of character? do I make the wrong friends? trust the wrong people? well, let's look at my son's dad - 98% absent during the child's life, so much so, that when my young man screwed up his courage enough to ask his stranger of a father for a couch to crash on for a week (yes, dude lives here in Vermont), he wasn't overly welcoming, nor did he offer any financial help. loser? maybe. I don't want to make excuses for him; I've been doing it for far too long for no good reasons, including my own pride, and his skill as a guitar player.</p><p>so our crash pad crashed and burned when it turned out my friend wasn't as in recovery as she thought she was. she had a relapse, and used it as an excuse to behave in an abusive manner towards me. the fact that she chose to take her relapse out on me when all I'd ever done was be a good and loyal friend to her was unnecessary and frankly unconscionable. she's fooled me more times than it should take for someone with good self-esteem to walk away from. and I regret letting the dreams in my head let me believe I could trust that someone was as loyal and honest as I am, though I know from years of experience that's rarely true. I take the giving of my energy in relationship very seriously, and I'm often hurt by folks who enjoy more casual interactions, as I tend to connect pretty deeply, rather quickly. and I'm finding that as I attempt to reconnect with folks I thought of as 'friends' here in Vermont, that I guess to them I'm more of an acquaintance, and there's been a 'no-show' of those I thought were 'my people' (some real help has come from unexpected places, too, I must confess). so what does that tell me about moving forward here?</p><p> </p><p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6Eb2n3wXJ2TuX4HHH6xJY_yEg2q8lqCf0zm7_jz7jeKAulw9mFj1TjAwcnz2dmvGXfmmD1rCms-mkn5D4a_h_BqyZH9WKX1fU-xqbI_VVYXr9beFMKiIfIYwHAIS_0U6mwo_yi3aSJPj4UeBI_PJR77gby4tlRL-VI0MitVLKb7ZwigsT7tGzScw8kQ/s275/index.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="183" data-original-width="275" height="183" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6Eb2n3wXJ2TuX4HHH6xJY_yEg2q8lqCf0zm7_jz7jeKAulw9mFj1TjAwcnz2dmvGXfmmD1rCms-mkn5D4a_h_BqyZH9WKX1fU-xqbI_VVYXr9beFMKiIfIYwHAIS_0U6mwo_yi3aSJPj4UeBI_PJR77gby4tlRL-VI0MitVLKb7ZwigsT7tGzScw8kQ/s1600/index.jpg" width="275" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">oh, these spiral paths we weave!<br /></td></tr></tbody></table> </p><p>nothing I didn't already know, I guess - we're all just hurtling through space on this rock alone. ever. always. and that's fine. I'd just like to plant a flower garden, watch it grow and die, and come back again. I want to write poems and prose, and create images. I want to knit and sew and crochet - craft art with my hands again and be alone with the silence of late night/early morning hours. I want to walk in nature, and be soothed. I want to share my creations with others who create. I want to hear from my son that he's doing well in school - that he's learning how to earn and manage money in a way that will bring him and his hoped-for future family more ease than his upbringing brought him. "may he do better"...every parents' prayer.</p><p> </p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEJjEZ65GoGvbl_mgNAitbKcKIgY7zfLGEnRha49mfq3n43Tm4rZiUptOmoEtxaqal_YuofkSCA36k5qme7RqONewI9d62Ljrf-YPjJFp1q84vstSuEQEE27uciGSGBam5nfy5a81fVzpmP56YAYAy5BMkPWijBPNyT2h1ssiYpyWsAM3CExIS2hz5BA/s295/index.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="295" data-original-width="171" height="295" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEJjEZ65GoGvbl_mgNAitbKcKIgY7zfLGEnRha49mfq3n43Tm4rZiUptOmoEtxaqal_YuofkSCA36k5qme7RqONewI9d62Ljrf-YPjJFp1q84vstSuEQEE27uciGSGBam5nfy5a81fVzpmP56YAYAy5BMkPWijBPNyT2h1ssiYpyWsAM3CExIS2hz5BA/s1600/index.jpg" width="171" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">from Isabella Rotman's This Might Hurt Studios<br /></td></tr></tbody></table><p> </p><p>I used to travel when I was younger - just pack up my few belongings and my cat, and live on the road in my car. it was a lovely lifestyle when planned for. falling houseless because of broken systems built to keep women like me down is less fun, but again - can be navigated smoothly by people like myself who are wise in the ways of travel. when I have to drag an unwilling and angry teenager and his fancy cat along? it can get really tough, but I'm using All the tools in my kit to keep us buoyant in proactive ways, while doing my best to organize these experiences with my overtaxed mind to share with people in a way that encourages them towards helping me out financially. I need help paying for gas, insurance, storage, cat supplies, and whatever my son may need for college that we didn't already think of, and for <b>pet-friendly</b> hotels/motels/b&b's/accommodations until I can find housing. I'm really good at writing, editing, proofreading, and reading tarot cards. please feel free to ask me to perform any of those tasks for you in exchange for any monetary donations. we can work out a value together. let me know how I can help you help me.</p><p>thanks ~</p><p>my paypal: https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/mysteriamb<br /></p><p>my gofundme, organized by some friends: https://www.gofundme.com/f/miriam-mysteriam-and-teen-need-a-home<span style="-moz-box-align: unset; -moz-box-direction: unset; -moz-box-flex: unset; -moz-box-ordinal-group: unset; -moz-box-orient: unset; -moz-box-pack: unset; -moz-float-edge: unset; -moz-force-broken-image-icon: unset; -moz-image-region: unset; -moz-orient: unset; -moz-text-size-adjust: unset; -moz-user-focus: unset; -moz-user-input: unset; -moz-user-modify: unset; -moz-window-dragging: unset; -webkit-line-clamp: unset; -webkit-text-fill-color: unset; -webkit-text-stroke: unset; accent-color: unset; animation: unset; appearance: unset; aspect-ratio: unset; 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word-break: unset; word-spacing: unset; writing-mode: unset; x: unset; y: unset; z-index: unset;">https://gofund.me/835d9ce3</span><span style="-moz-box-align: unset; -moz-box-direction: unset; -moz-box-flex: unset; -moz-box-ordinal-group: unset; -moz-box-orient: unset; -moz-box-pack: unset; -moz-float-edge: unset; -moz-force-broken-image-icon: unset; -moz-image-region: unset; -moz-orient: unset; -moz-text-size-adjust: unset; -moz-user-focus: unset; -moz-user-input: unset; -moz-user-modify: unset; -moz-window-dragging: unset; -webkit-line-clamp: unset; -webkit-text-fill-color: unset; -webkit-text-stroke: unset; accent-color: unset; animation: unset; appearance: unset; aspect-ratio: unset; backdrop-filter: unset; backface-visibility: unset; background-blend-mode: unset; background: unset; block-size: unset; border-block: unset; border-collapse: unset; border-end-end-radius: unset; border-end-start-radius: unset; border-inline: unset; border-radius: unset; border-spacing: unset; border-start-end-radius: unset; 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text-align: unset; text-anchor: unset; text-combine-upright: unset; text-decoration-skip-ink: unset; text-decoration: unset; text-emphasis-position: unset; text-emphasis: unset; text-indent: unset; text-justify: unset; text-orientation: unset; text-overflow: unset; text-rendering: unset; text-shadow: unset; text-transform: unset; text-underline-offset: unset; text-underline-position: unset; top: 0px; touch-action: unset; transform-box: unset; transform-origin: unset; transform-style: unset; transform: unset; transition: unset; translate: unset; user-select: text; vector-effect: unset; vertical-align: unset; visibility: unset; white-space: pre; width: unset; will-change: unset; word-break: unset; word-spacing: unset; writing-mode: unset; x: unset; y: unset; z-index: unset;">https://gofund.me/835d9ce3</span><span style="-moz-box-align: unset; -moz-box-direction: unset; -moz-box-flex: unset; -moz-box-ordinal-group: unset; -moz-box-orient: unset; -moz-box-pack: unset; -moz-float-edge: unset; 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mask: unset; max-block-size: unset; max-height: unset; max-inline-size: unset; max-width: unset; min-block-size: unset; min-height: unset; min-inline-size: unset; min-width: unset; mix-blend-mode: unset; object-fit: unset; object-position: unset; offset: unset; opacity: unset; order: unset; outline-offset: unset; outline: unset; overflow-anchor: unset; overflow-block: unset; overflow-clip-margin: unset; overflow-inline: unset; overflow-wrap: unset; overflow: unset; overscroll-behavior-block: unset; overscroll-behavior-inline: unset; overscroll-behavior: unset; padding-block: unset; padding-inline: unset; padding: unset; paint-order: unset; perspective-origin: unset; perspective: unset; place-content: unset; place-items: unset; place-self: unset; pointer-events: unset; position: fixed; print-color-adjust: unset; quotes: unset; r: unset; resize: unset; right: unset; rotate: unset; ruby-align: unset; ruby-position: unset; rx: unset; ry: unset; scale: unset; scroll-behavior: unset; scroll-margin-block: unset; 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text-underline-offset: unset; text-underline-position: unset; top: 0px; touch-action: unset; transform-box: unset; transform-origin: unset; transform-style: unset; transform: unset; transition: unset; translate: unset; user-select: text; vector-effect: unset; vertical-align: unset; visibility: unset; white-space: pre; width: unset; will-change: unset; word-break: unset; word-spacing: unset; writing-mode: unset; x: unset; y: unset; z-index: unset;">https://www.gofundme.com/f/miriam-mysteriam-and-teen-need-a-home?utm_source=customer&utm_medium=copy_link_all&utm_campaign=p_cp+share-sheet</span><span style="-moz-box-align: unset; -moz-box-direction: unset; -moz-box-flex: unset; -moz-box-ordinal-group: unset; -moz-box-orient: unset; -moz-box-pack: unset; -moz-float-edge: unset; -moz-force-broken-image-icon: unset; -moz-image-region: unset; -moz-orient: unset; -moz-text-size-adjust: unset; -moz-user-focus: unset; -moz-user-input: unset; -moz-user-modify: unset; -moz-window-dragging: unset; -webkit-line-clamp: unset; 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object-position: unset; offset: unset; opacity: unset; order: unset; outline-offset: unset; outline: unset; overflow-anchor: unset; overflow-block: unset; overflow-clip-margin: unset; overflow-inline: unset; overflow-wrap: unset; overflow: unset; overscroll-behavior-block: unset; overscroll-behavior-inline: unset; overscroll-behavior: unset; padding-block: unset; padding-inline: unset; padding: unset; paint-order: unset; perspective-origin: unset; perspective: unset; place-content: unset; place-items: unset; place-self: unset; pointer-events: unset; position: fixed; print-color-adjust: unset; quotes: unset; r: unset; resize: unset; right: unset; rotate: unset; ruby-align: unset; ruby-position: unset; rx: unset; ry: unset; scale: unset; scroll-behavior: unset; scroll-margin-block: unset; scroll-margin-inline: unset; scroll-margin: unset; scroll-padding-block: unset; scroll-padding-inline: unset; scroll-padding: unset; scroll-snap-align: unset; scroll-snap-stop: unset; scroll-snap-type: unset; scrollbar-color: unset; scrollbar-gutter: unset; scrollbar-width: unset; shape-image-threshold: unset; shape-margin: unset; shape-outside: unset; shape-rendering: unset; size: unset; stop-color: unset; stop-opacity: unset; stroke-dasharray: unset; stroke-dashoffset: unset; stroke-linecap: unset; stroke-linejoin: unset; stroke-miterlimit: unset; stroke-opacity: unset; stroke-width: unset; stroke: unset; tab-size: unset; table-layout: unset; text-align-last: unset; text-align: unset; text-anchor: unset; text-combine-upright: unset; text-decoration-skip-ink: unset; text-decoration: unset; text-emphasis-position: unset; text-emphasis: unset; text-indent: unset; text-justify: unset; text-orientation: unset; text-overflow: unset; text-rendering: unset; text-shadow: unset; text-transform: unset; text-underline-offset: unset; text-underline-position: unset; top: 0px; touch-action: unset; transform-box: unset; transform-origin: unset; transform-style: unset; transform: unset; transition: unset; translate: unset; user-select: text; vector-effect: unset; vertical-align: unset; visibility: unset; white-space: pre; width: unset; will-change: unset; word-break: unset; word-spacing: unset; writing-mode: unset; x: unset; y: unset; z-index: unset;">https://www.gofundme.com/f/miriam-mysteriam-and-teen-need-a-home?utm_source=customer&utm_medium=copy_link_all&utm_campaign=p_cp+share-shee</span></p>Mama Pajamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10278474039105398842noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2740055889978712690.post-46445328341930422152022-01-11T17:51:00.000-05:002022-01-11T17:51:16.884-05:00Memory Jar 2021<br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhCdRbGpnYRuTspsFjUGrLn2_IC_64O_b4vcOZMa1wqPd5sNvFDQE5hrOlhRD46OeKZ-kVG7GXAeVtaH2loFVqhrLpjEcyeiDE6qEq1Ac1JHvCGcn8Rb3pDN8lkWM3Ai0g-rWtxeezwBtNuAI3-sh887cNahA8k7pjZrisJPGGk3nYkK1dJQEiPidXbtw=s1280" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="1280" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhCdRbGpnYRuTspsFjUGrLn2_IC_64O_b4vcOZMa1wqPd5sNvFDQE5hrOlhRD46OeKZ-kVG7GXAeVtaH2loFVqhrLpjEcyeiDE6qEq1Ac1JHvCGcn8Rb3pDN8lkWM3Ai0g-rWtxeezwBtNuAI3-sh887cNahA8k7pjZrisJPGGk3nYkK1dJQEiPidXbtw=s320" width="320" /></a></div><p></p><p style="text-align: center;">8 YEARS!</p><p style="text-align: left;">8 years of memory jars! wow...and it's been a year, that's for sure. the kind of year where I found myself saying to my kid, "I know it's been shitty, but let's sit down and make the effort to think of a few good things to put in our jar so we have something to share on New Year's Eve. maybe we have enough space from the trauma of it all to appreciate the experiences?" hopeful as I was, I suppose I was bound to be disappointed, especially since my Teen showed more interest in the process last New Year's than he has in the past, by insisting on designing our yearly star himself. it was a pretty star, but his enthusiasm for the project didn't carry through. read on to find out what was good for us in 2021:</p><p style="text-align: left;"> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEh0Zt3Sd6HXGrvbkCNjer3VnMT4E9YLjvTD0Hu1z4ehJfA9GvrzwZ8IlwUlFdmjneWQ3EfX063cWiI7Q-fZunMNJFBP1ceCTrT3JjxHSYwGIkgFzcJrp9ekTOeXKJd8v9Kz52uv-2B2C4wR-_hr99-0SXGndTlVImB5Liu2m0iPLj1UosVJv6n2BkhN9g=s2560" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2560" data-original-width="1536" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEh0Zt3Sd6HXGrvbkCNjer3VnMT4E9YLjvTD0Hu1z4ehJfA9GvrzwZ8IlwUlFdmjneWQ3EfX063cWiI7Q-fZunMNJFBP1ceCTrT3JjxHSYwGIkgFzcJrp9ekTOeXKJd8v9Kz52uv-2B2C4wR-_hr99-0SXGndTlVImB5Liu2m0iPLj1UosVJv6n2BkhN9g=s320" width="192" /></a></div><br /><p style="text-align: left;"><u>Me</u>:</p><p style="text-align: left;">new running shoes!</p><p style="text-align: left;">birthday week lunches, gifts, ice cream, cake, dinners, cash, salt bath...</p><p style="text-align: left;">playing Yahtzee w/Grandma (Mom)<br /></p><p style="text-align: left;">Grandma laughing at the movie Slapshot</p><p style="text-align: left;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: left;"><u>Teen</u>:</p><p style="text-align: left;">got a new hat</p><p style="text-align: left;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: left;">ok, well...there were significantly less happy moments in our jar than there have been in the past, but as I've said, and I'm sure we can all agree, it's been a pretty rough year all around (unless you're a billionaire that got richer from all the collective suffering, in which case, karma will get you my pretties). the 'awful' was not just pandemic related in our case - I mean, my mom died, and then we lost our housing and had to move. it's been utterly terrible, and we've had quite a rough time navigating it all, but I think we're coming through it a bit, one way or another.</p><p style="text-align: left;"> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEivwbOC11CEaBtn8t0sXEIgen7dgbf3tobcE1QoFrzABZDACOhiTfC7C25ZVM9bqOTg6J47b_Gek7JnMAhi-OdGOU6mXMUpbuuzUgNS43bHGx1tXDAufeLRD2a6tjXKoaeQ6qrAZBc5mf4w18L-SNn7P_vydk5bXN0WHngfya7-UJ7NQzRdZZtbfwTbKQ=s2560" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1536" data-original-width="2560" height="192" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEivwbOC11CEaBtn8t0sXEIgen7dgbf3tobcE1QoFrzABZDACOhiTfC7C25ZVM9bqOTg6J47b_Gek7JnMAhi-OdGOU6mXMUpbuuzUgNS43bHGx1tXDAufeLRD2a6tjXKoaeQ6qrAZBc5mf4w18L-SNn7P_vydk5bXN0WHngfya7-UJ7NQzRdZZtbfwTbKQ=s320" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p style="text-align: left;">for myself, even though I fell off my running game after Mom died, the gift of running shoes was/is a blessing, and definitely made the journey more fun (not to mention easier), and when I'm ready to get back to it (soon, soon), they'll be waiting for me. and since I spent the year responsibly keeping mostly away from people, it was wonderful to spend time with two of my close friends who made the effort to help me feel loved and cared for around my birthday. my mom spent two blessed weeks visiting before she died, for which I will forever be grateful, and during those weeks we had a lot of fun together, because she was moving away, and we didn't know when we were going to see each other again. sigh...it wasn't supposed to be 'never'; she was planning to come to the Teen's high school graduation this summer. anyway, <a href="https://youtu.be/MUuEWI6F3dQ" target="_blank">Slapshot</a> was one of her favorite movies, so I've seen it about 5,678 times and know it by heart - but I wasn't really watching it that night, I was watching my mom laugh harder than she had for a long time, and it made my heart happy. and she kicked our asses in Yahtzee so bad, the Teen accused her of cheating, lol!</p><p style="text-align: left;">as for the Teen...he had it rough. more than a year of remote learning, not being able to go anywhere or do anything with his friends...they did stay in touch through online gaming, but...it wasn't ideal by any stretch of the imagination, and I feel all their relationships were hurt by the separation. he needed to get out so badly he ran away from home for two weeks and sent me spiraling even further into depression as if losing my second parent and my housing wasn't enough. he was similarly affected, and more. we worked through it well enough to be on a somewhat even keel now, and honestly, I don't feel like it's my place to talk about him so much on my blog any more, as he's past old enough to have a say in such things, and I know if I asked him, he'd tell me not to write about him, so...I (mostly) won't. I can speak to the fact that he had some truly wonderful moments this year, but I recognize that there's some real healing he needs to do in order to feel ready to acknowledge them. I truly hope he does.</p><p style="text-align: left;"> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhbqw13x8baacJ3C65bnwWNCOqWr57fsjKQWUL36ty2IAM3-5aGc6GW7CxYQKuSFXsZz-UxautpYhf6FVQc08pxORgTMmA0DUKY5rpR6PqrvGOK2hCsKzcydrHmqGG6ePudOiwayI44d2idcvtSdKNsLabe4yuAFAeMYqTa27Gv3PwUQYwDGa0eWd1z9A=s1920" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1920" data-original-width="1152" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhbqw13x8baacJ3C65bnwWNCOqWr57fsjKQWUL36ty2IAM3-5aGc6GW7CxYQKuSFXsZz-UxautpYhf6FVQc08pxORgTMmA0DUKY5rpR6PqrvGOK2hCsKzcydrHmqGG6ePudOiwayI44d2idcvtSdKNsLabe4yuAFAeMYqTa27Gv3PwUQYwDGa0eWd1z9A=w240-h400" width="240" /></a></div><br /><p style="text-align: left;">some things that didn't make the jar but should have, include (for me): taking part in the Roma Women's Poetry Project writing workshops sponsored by <a href="https://eriac.org/" target="_blank">ERIAC</a>, having one of the pieces I wrote included in <i><a href="https://www.butchersdogmagazine.co.uk/wagtail" target="_blank">Wagtail</a>, </i>the first anthology from <a href="https://www.butchersdogmagazine.co.uk/" target="_blank">Butcher's Dog</a> magazine, and taking part in the online launch event. spending time with friends, going to my son's gigs, and reconnecting with my tarot practice were also highlights, as well as going on a few dates, even though they didn't pan out into anything worth writing about. during a time in history when things could be so much worse, I'm exceedingly grateful for the privilege of continuing to have opportunities to create my life in the ways that nurture and sustain me, mind, body, and spirit, and to have the means to offer compassion and understanding to as many others as possible. I hope absolutely everyone gets to feel similarly blessed this year ~</p><p style="text-align: left;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: left;">check out our memory jar posts from years past, below!</p><p><a href="https://theunusedportion.blogspot.com/2015/02/memory-jar-2014.html" target="_blank">2014</a> - <a href="https://theunusedportion.blogspot.com/2015/12/memory-jar-2015.html" target="_blank">2015</a> - <a href="https://theunusedportion.blogspot.com/2017/01/memory-jar-2016.html" target="_blank">2016</a> - <a href="https://theunusedportion.blogspot.com/2018/01/memory-jar-2017.html" target="_blank">2017</a> - <a href="https://theunusedportion.blogspot.com/2019/01/memory-jar-2018.html" target="_blank">2018</a> - <a href="https://theunusedportion.blogspot.com/2020/01/memory-jar-2019.html" target="_blank">2019</a> - <a href="https://theunusedportion.blogspot.com/2021/01/memory-jar-2020.html" target="_blank">2020</a><br /></p>Mama Pajamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10278474039105398842noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2740055889978712690.post-73943476161586451332021-12-27T11:45:00.000-05:002021-12-27T11:45:53.797-05:00Fools<p style="text-align: left;">since I got a new tarot deck (<a href="https://theunusedportion.blogspot.com/2021/12/this-might-hurt-tarot-yay.html" target="_blank">This Might Hurt</a>) I'm gonna get to know it better by going through each card in each of my decks, to compare and contrast them, in no particular order (ok, maybe in some semblance of order), and in no particular time frame. how's that? sound good? cool. I totally did not randomly chose to start with The Fool, because where else do you start a journey? well, some of you might like to plan and pack and save, but I just...jump and hope a net will appear. so it seems of our Fool, hey? </p><p>here's why I love Isabella Rotman's version: first and foremost, the ambiguous gender/gender neutrality of the archetype. in joining a tarot group to find community to be in during the pandemic after having been a mostly solitary practitioner for most of my life, the very first thing that struck me was the lack of diversity in our (the group's) tarot tools, and I wanted a new deck to reflect my new understanding of what a deck could be, immediately. and this Fool is perfect. they've got they're bag, they're not looking where they're going, they're smelling a rose while about to step off a cliff even though their little dog is warning them...the patched pants, the bird on their shoulder, the budding tree, the hand...perfect.</p><p><br /></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhloSfNfLQPDMMYSlTbqTT34Y5RvjmO1eBIED2m8CXN7blRUN3vzB1V8zFscglT8_jAjvXwRQER0h15nxEnFmFzv-CqfBHdexGFJ2uzsEBIgFzhFKENHI4j0UqnCAO82hrgmVhTKvTzZMSA_IiY_Z9EJiB_DhU9iKZR9trlEFwMHRH7fRizJtoFWcV3_g=s2560" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1536" data-original-width="2560" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhloSfNfLQPDMMYSlTbqTT34Y5RvjmO1eBIED2m8CXN7blRUN3vzB1V8zFscglT8_jAjvXwRQER0h15nxEnFmFzv-CqfBHdexGFJ2uzsEBIgFzhFKENHI4j0UqnCAO82hrgmVhTKvTzZMSA_IiY_Z9EJiB_DhU9iKZR9trlEFwMHRH7fRizJtoFWcV3_g=w400-h240" width="400" /></a></div> <p></p><p>for comparison, here's a look at The Fool from <a href="https://www.dgmlive.com/news/Fergus%20Hall%20cover%20art" target="_blank">Fergus Hall's</a> Tarot of the Witches - my first deck, the one I've been working with since 1984. this dude is peeking out underneath his blindfold as his vicious little dog rips his pants in imitation of the Coppertone baby's pose, while he tosses eight coins to the wind, and lets the other hand swish in the breeze. even though he's got both the sun and the moon suggesting the ongoing opportunity for endless experience (and a heart on his cheek, and a cheeky grin), he's still going over that cliff in his adventurously frivolous colors. I always wondered if he'd manage to grab on to the little tree to save himself... <br /></p><p><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgI1qzMCpI9LsKx0ETybiLkcWkZnm91MEOyxUWJkr4QmS4NLNAUF7gc0RAo_-WWnVqBhJ4YHr15OgQy0iWC3lqT6cNEzgqUMRTK-_FjDEmfiGwicd3izQqv6Q4WO80jkIOTtFK6raL3TZmmC4WFBOUqrV6gP9bwNtAmX2Pp7saaBOq6l8xRHVYjYasQkA=s2560" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2560" data-original-width="1536" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgI1qzMCpI9LsKx0ETybiLkcWkZnm91MEOyxUWJkr4QmS4NLNAUF7gc0RAo_-WWnVqBhJ4YHr15OgQy0iWC3lqT6cNEzgqUMRTK-_FjDEmfiGwicd3izQqv6Q4WO80jkIOTtFK6raL3TZmmC4WFBOUqrV6gP9bwNtAmX2Pp7saaBOq6l8xRHVYjYasQkA=w240-h400" width="240" /></a></div></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">in the oh-so-white and fairy cartoon-y Tarot of a Moon Garden deck, we have this...fellow? entity..? archetype. well, they seem to be floating above the Earth, with their little dog seemingly happy about it, possibly just content to chase the bubbles and baubles appearing around the Fool's ballerina-slipper clad feet...all three of them. dancing between the dawn and dusk? it seems half of this person is steeped in the light of the full moon at night, while the other half is parading through the noon of a sunny day at the same time. and so many hands! four of them, holding a paintbrush, a poppet, a butterfly net, and a pomegranate. there's also a heart on their one sleeve, a star on the other - bells on the colorful skirt, hat, and shoes; a butterfly with antennae curled into a heart; a crescent moon over the eye on the 'daylight' side of the body, a star over the eye on the 'nighttime' side. there's a lot going on here to process.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhMt7Cu8zYAcC7QNYQCBhqcHzrq6y-w_vBX9OUnq7LlGZEjd334h-Z0GeFnRhZZRC1YosfX1WFVkJzZWDbivNeK1nfklQUslH58BlwdC8AXtMHNMmOeOLDu9YnMEPDSbVt4bGr1cg8PSKPkwhbojqkvidd_noU9AWSIHQvWhMEEFbx-dVe8WmzjvCOt1A=s2560" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1536" data-original-width="2560" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhMt7Cu8zYAcC7QNYQCBhqcHzrq6y-w_vBX9OUnq7LlGZEjd334h-Z0GeFnRhZZRC1YosfX1WFVkJzZWDbivNeK1nfklQUslH58BlwdC8AXtMHNMmOeOLDu9YnMEPDSbVt4bGr1cg8PSKPkwhbojqkvidd_noU9AWSIHQvWhMEEFbx-dVe8WmzjvCOt1A=w400-h240" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><p>The Lover's Tarot, which I like because it's HUGE, consists of only the major arcana - a fun deck for a fun reading! I've used it a few times for community readings, but no one's asked me for it for a personal reading, yet. check this guy out, though - he's like the poster boy for pasty white noble-whatsis and caped colonizers. is that a little fish purse? seriously? I want this guy to fall off the cliff, but it doesn't even look like he's trying...just leaning in with that one knee, and somehow messing up the carefree wave of the right hand with an awkward gesture to match the odd stance. and his poor, sad-looking dog! it seems to me like this Fool's belt, cape, and red tights are the only ones excited for the possibility of adventure; that the youth wearing them is too naive to know that the city down there holds any promise for him under that oddly flat, yet inspiringly illuminated sun.<br /></p><p><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEivkftI6Xb_SngeP6kYJZfH_ZfNZ1QsxzokMam95i9WRmO8MuRyiorjViqMtcP8mg5nrjMknLbHK3DQ09kCb6YhLI8tw-KsNBEq2QqSsUWaMrwk_NRZapGWQTNu4nxlXPG3uyzDjtur4VrQ6k1W9UdE-3S0K2eeEGCNIDvRivmzUDz06bLjMHvQVK2zUw=s2560" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1536" data-original-width="2560" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEivkftI6Xb_SngeP6kYJZfH_ZfNZ1QsxzokMam95i9WRmO8MuRyiorjViqMtcP8mg5nrjMknLbHK3DQ09kCb6YhLI8tw-KsNBEq2QqSsUWaMrwk_NRZapGWQTNu4nxlXPG3uyzDjtur4VrQ6k1W9UdE-3S0K2eeEGCNIDvRivmzUDz06bLjMHvQVK2zUw=w400-h240" width="400" /></a></div><p><br /></p><p>it's taking me some time to feel comfortable working with the HooDoo Tarot, and that's as it's meant to be. so who is The Free Man? he comes with New Testament quotes and a plant correspondence, neither of which I'm familiar with, and while the one is basic enough, the other required me to look it up and find out that I know 'Jimsonweed' as 'datura'. learning already, not bad! there's no cliff here, or a little dog warning this man of any danger, but we're told that carrying a jar of dirt away from this particular tomb is a daring act of purpose or lunacy. there's no carefree toss of a hand, here, no budding tree on the edge of a day, just a wise knowing, and the fatigue of that burden. he seems to show us not how to face up to our fears, but to ascend past them through the fiery belief in our own purpose. <br /></p><p><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiIP7XRQCsHP58NTOKDDIRR3Wmrxa8agizWikuHDqM0hhNay3YQ5wziCpSFKJE7ImoPWvktQBE-41PT9s1jmKeVCbFTGJieqM3ThfsGiJDpasOCTq0lKv7fPklNdkVSLS8U5xHCuYwVl1sJHwyZG_5urM1MqPTjnzBmRX3vuPzfMDPc8EiT9mwO2xLq3w=s2560" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2560" data-original-width="1536" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiIP7XRQCsHP58NTOKDDIRR3Wmrxa8agizWikuHDqM0hhNay3YQ5wziCpSFKJE7ImoPWvktQBE-41PT9s1jmKeVCbFTGJieqM3ThfsGiJDpasOCTq0lKv7fPklNdkVSLS8U5xHCuYwVl1sJHwyZG_5urM1MqPTjnzBmRX3vuPzfMDPc8EiT9mwO2xLq3w=w240-h400" width="240" /></a></div><p> </p><p>also, I couldn't resist gifting myself this adorable pocket edition of <a href="https://www.thewildunknown.com/" target="_blank">The Wild Unknown</a> by Kim Krans that comes in its own tin - so cute! - so I'm full up on decks at the moment (still want a Thoth deck, though)! what's fun and unique about this deck is that to my mind, it doesn't follow the 'traditional' art framework at all, and instead, encourages us to find something new in the interpretations of the symbols by relating them to nature and the outdoors. how to represent The Fool without the regular trappings? how to communicate that sense of spontaneity and adventure, danger, and heightened awareness without a cliff, a dog, a flourish, a bag of tricks, bright and colorful clothing, a budding tree or flower, mountains or a city in the distance? draw a baby bird on a tree limb about to take its first leap of faith. do you feel like you understand The Fool a bit more, now? <br /></p><p> <br /></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEg8DANldNBtSyG8iGLzWkAmk5IA-kxXW1YOb45MLukOnTuDAgNH9nEgI72K4xLp8MTmy-Fbat0P068LGbpiNlXDhfR3G6ZZKenYKkw42aF4X6fafYHta9s2UOgzE87l4cPHkQeyTV_DGY305WoaefWIyjjfvdXNjTlJJ9xO23vNl35atQCPJZr1lGGhow=s2560" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1536" data-original-width="2560" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEg8DANldNBtSyG8iGLzWkAmk5IA-kxXW1YOb45MLukOnTuDAgNH9nEgI72K4xLp8MTmy-Fbat0P068LGbpiNlXDhfR3G6ZZKenYKkw42aF4X6fafYHta9s2UOgzE87l4cPHkQeyTV_DGY305WoaefWIyjjfvdXNjTlJJ9xO23vNl35atQCPJZr1lGGhow=w400-h240" width="400" /></a></div><br /> <p></p><p>I know I do. which deck is your favorite? which would be your first choice for a reading, and which would be your last...or which would you never pick? why? if you read tarot, do you have a favorite deck? I'd love to hear about it in the comments!<br /></p>Mama Pajamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10278474039105398842noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2740055889978712690.post-68936054125311378982021-12-23T14:50:00.000-05:002021-12-23T14:50:25.612-05:00This Might Hurt Tarot, Yay! <p>hello friends! </p><p>I'm excited because for Hannukah this year, I <i>finally </i>bought myself <a href="https://www.isabellarotman.com/" target="_blank">Isabella Rotman</a>'s <b>This Might Hurt</b> tarot deck, which I may have fallen in love with at first sight. when it got here, I let it sit on my altar for about a week to let it shed any lingering outside energies and soak up some goodness before I used it for the first time. it's a standard 78 card deck (with holographic edges!) after the RWS fashion, which is exactly the reason I got it, and it came in a lovely box with a guidebook, some small cards, and a sticker! 38 years ago I started out using the Tarot of the Witches deck, which doesn't have minor arcana cards, it has 'pips' that lack the traditional symbolic artwork, so I didn't work with the minors until quite recently. to have something resembling community during the pandemic, I joined an online tarot group, and as the weekly discussion included <i>all</i> the tarot cards, I ended up mostly using the Tarot of a Moon Garden during our work together, because it was the deck I had which was the closest to the 'traditional' RWS.</p><p> </p><p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgXlog1GPoO5VCU6WBvEVl_3c_juNVp258RF-8B_XvJq1x2DzrX1f3ZqpydeZfnKncoRCCLFt3nnPh__OyA6XgBUgFLT8BsbG-Rk1mdneGhtAxR_dJ3vhVg9cZ5n7v9rO-WaPkBv_unK5SItRjahqMeKaQH2mJDlNAb5isH9SsrBibE4LfO1wjtR8nIDw=s2077" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1367" data-original-width="2077" height="211" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgXlog1GPoO5VCU6WBvEVl_3c_juNVp258RF-8B_XvJq1x2DzrX1f3ZqpydeZfnKncoRCCLFt3nnPh__OyA6XgBUgFLT8BsbG-Rk1mdneGhtAxR_dJ3vhVg9cZ5n7v9rO-WaPkBv_unK5SItRjahqMeKaQH2mJDlNAb5isH9SsrBibE4LfO1wjtR8nIDw=w320-h211" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">box, guidebook, deck, cards & sticker<br /></td></tr></tbody></table><br /></p><p>in that group, it quickly became clear that tarot had remained a blind spot for me in terms of my cultural development over the years. why did all our decks center whiteness? why did they all feature European ideals of beauty, magick, wonder, virtues, and goals? why didn't I see myself reflected in my minor arcana experience? while the majors can be read as more Universal energies, the minors wanted to tell me a story about myself, or a person sitting in front of me, and the Moon Garden deck wasn't giving me the cues I felt I needed to tell it. so when my searching for something that better reflected the world I had come to understand in the ensuing decades brought me to <a href="https://www.isabellarotman.com/" target="_blank">This Might Hurt</a>, it's no wonder I got all excited...I mean, I a star-crowned chick in a leather jacket astride two motorcycles for The Chariot? and The Fool is perfect! this deck is so utterly inclusive and skillfully drawn, I can't wait to get into working with it for my readings! </p><p> </p><p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEji5ECQDd-dEQQb_7VhbtMuAfUwIkg1T2YT7u4mJn_cr5m9ze-IZOR8jRQUVSpXYX4Llm4GBBnxb_E6JjRoxadz7rpqEpzsMQgc0OT8FOt5emjqERganJx1FZ1AfskfWommq7jQuZGxfhdT1I46OSx0V8X_yeeYd-JYD-CjpM-EFB5KGLIjD_-72wq5Hg=s2322" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1341" data-original-width="2322" height="185" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEji5ECQDd-dEQQb_7VhbtMuAfUwIkg1T2YT7u4mJn_cr5m9ze-IZOR8jRQUVSpXYX4Llm4GBBnxb_E6JjRoxadz7rpqEpzsMQgc0OT8FOt5emjqERganJx1FZ1AfskfWommq7jQuZGxfhdT1I46OSx0V8X_yeeYd-JYD-CjpM-EFB5KGLIjD_-72wq5Hg=s320" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">ooh, holographic edges!<br /></td></tr></tbody></table> </p><p>fresh out of the box, cards are generally a bit sticky and need a good deal of shuffling to feel in any way natural in my hands, so without putting a lot of thought into any particular questions, I just listened to Craig Prues' <a href="https://youtu.be/kJkaEOaNM4A">108 Sacred Names</a>, thought about the recent full moon and Solstice, made an effort to move the cards through and through each other, and spread them across my cloth. picking three at random, here's a general energy reading using the guidebook that came with the cards:</p><p> </p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjN7xCDekZliTUZqqSgHz8-y4qZ_Y-_wuzdOlblFzMJPi4OqbYvt9uqwYjqkOiBmLkjT8_dbbatFfWsZIqD-EpILN2jDax5zuJ_9seYWjDXbw_hFA2DJKR3vNLNYrj811wHZVTrVWOPIiMDOJQdIgK3NE3d4yIlIfzCvNcBpD8CbPJsGymbMJqeyhMUgA=s2560" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1536" data-original-width="2560" height="192" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjN7xCDekZliTUZqqSgHz8-y4qZ_Y-_wuzdOlblFzMJPi4OqbYvt9uqwYjqkOiBmLkjT8_dbbatFfWsZIqD-EpILN2jDax5zuJ_9seYWjDXbw_hFA2DJKR3vNLNYrj811wHZVTrVWOPIiMDOJQdIgK3NE3d4yIlIfzCvNcBpD8CbPJsGymbMJqeyhMUgA=s320" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">6 of Wands, 3 of Pentacles, King of Swords<br /></td></tr></tbody></table><p> </p><p><u>6 of Wands</u> - this is the 'public recognition of victory' card - we are enjoying the external validation of our endeavors...we worked for them, we got them, believe in them! but do we feel we <i>need</i> that acknowledgement? why? if our goals are based on wanting/needing outside recognition, we could probably spend some time finding better motivating desires... and while it's perfectly fine to revel in the laurels, it's perhaps best to avoid resting on them.</p><p><u>3 of Pentacles</u> - "teamwork makes the dream work" (lol)! this is about how we relate to each other in terms of work/group projects. when we combine forces, we can achieve synergetic growth - if you work mostly alone, consider asking for feedback on your process or work-in-progress. find ways to build positive collaborative environments.</p><p><u>King of Swords</u> - leadership through unbiased judgement...this person/card is skilled at cutting to the truth. stern, ethical, & trustworthy, this fair and just leader may exhibit the emotional detachment necessary to function in service to their community. it is for them to be serious and logical in order to thrive (the Bernie Sanders card, lol!).</p><p>wow, what a great reading! while we can and should take a few moments to say "yay, we did something worth celebrating, though we don't need to flaunt it, and then we're gonna get right back to making the connections we need to really level up within our respective communities. and if we manage to be logical, fair and rational, then maybe we can model ethical and honest leadership focused in and on those communities. <br /></p><p>I really dig this deck - it's whimsical & fun, but also serious in that all the traditional symbolism is there, it's just more easily accessible. what a breath of fresh air! I honestly want to do another reading with them right away...book with me today, and ask for this deck! you'll be glad you did ~</p><p> </p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEizYwdqG-Q-rrvNfnT_rhgQZOF6gDGq1HLbtgCIzg1GNMeHUlhMMbCs5QigPeaRVjJ_7zrklgt2xNtK4CxgKjki_hncUq2vsTs_kLTJ-fdHN_y5jx3wBIo0G_BzGm5ahzMrGIOHm--vFT4Qs9JKY7RLX5VlVCWGf1QYb2Q4H3Y036treq230whnLuzIaA=s2245" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2245" data-original-width="1374" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEizYwdqG-Q-rrvNfnT_rhgQZOF6gDGq1HLbtgCIzg1GNMeHUlhMMbCs5QigPeaRVjJ_7zrklgt2xNtK4CxgKjki_hncUq2vsTs_kLTJ-fdHN_y5jx3wBIo0G_BzGm5ahzMrGIOHm--vFT4Qs9JKY7RLX5VlVCWGf1QYb2Q4H3Y036treq230whnLuzIaA=s320" width="196" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The Fool<br /></td></tr></tbody></table><br /><p><br /></p>Mama Pajamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10278474039105398842noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2740055889978712690.post-73015700678030186852021-11-18T15:44:00.000-05:002021-11-18T15:44:31.931-05:00"To David" - from my mother<p>my mother died 7 1/2 months ago, and today is her birthday. she would have been 77. my brother has been sending me random boxes of her things (well, his wife is probably packing and shipping the boxes), and in the last box, there was a folder of Mom's writing both from her school days, and after. in particular, there were several poems to and about a man named David, and a letter to her father begging to be allowed to come home. I wish she were here to tell me about what must have been a difficult time in her life, but she chose to take her secrets to her grave. I hope she found David in the afterlife - whatever that might have looked like for her - and I wanted to give voice to her longing. she deserved at least that much. I mean...there could be <i>a reason</i> these particular poems found me, whether my sister-in-law or my brother picked them purposefully out of a pile of other useless crap, or it happened organically, it feels like I was meant to see them, and as is my way, share.<br /></p><p><br /></p><p style="text-align: center;"><i>To David</i></p><p style="text-align: left;">Do you remember, darling, our love?</p><p style="text-align: left;">I do - always, but especially tonite.</p><p style="text-align: left;">We were having a campfire to celebrate harvests end,</p><p style="text-align: left;">And as we sat - I began to sing and strum the guitar.</p><p style="text-align: left;">The people said I was great -</p><p style="text-align: left;">That I sang with real feeling</p><p style="text-align: left;">For the tears stood in my eyes.</p><p style="text-align: left;">I sang, "We Shall Overcome," and they thought the tears were for the Cause.</p><p style="text-align: left;">But they were not - they were for you.</p><p style="text-align: left;">For as I sang I remembered - </p><p style="text-align: left;">Our days on the picket line, the nite in jail, </p><p style="text-align: left;">Our first date and all of those thereafter.</p><p style="text-align: left;">I thought of what might have been - </p><p style="text-align: left;">The children we might have had.</p><p style="text-align: left;">And then I thought of how you left me</p><p style="text-align: left;">And you said, "You'll forget me, but please, not too fast or easily."</p><p style="text-align: left;">I turned away then to hide my tears</p><p style="text-align: left;">And you went -</p><p style="text-align: left;">I watched until you got your first lift</p><p style="text-align: left;">In a chain of many, which took you away forever</p><p style="text-align: left;">Now, the seas separate us</p><p style="text-align: left;">But darling, I'll always belong to you even when I sleep beneath the Israeli sod - and you beneath the the Louisiana soil.</p><p style="text-align: left;">In death, if not in life, we shall overcome and live again to love.</p><p style="text-align: left;"><span> </span>- Sue Meistrich, 12/5/63, 6:30pm</p><p style="text-align: left;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: center;"><i>13 Feb. 1964</i></p><p style="text-align: left;">I am 19, an upper middle class, white girl. The only thing that makes me a non WASP is my jewish religion and culture. I suppose my normal pattern would have been college, job and marriage to a "nice jewish boy", a family, etc. I would have lived a secure life, nice and easy with no disruptive influences.</p><p style="text-align: left;">I have, however, already broken with the pattern. The whole thing began on 19 Sept. when I was arrested for civil rights in Syracuse. At this time I met a man - David - who I fell subsequently in love with. Now I am faced with a decision. I have a choice to make between two lives. The life I mentioned above, conforming to the "normal" pattern and the life I see ahead as David's wife. I see a life much closer to the raw elements of life. The element of drink, pot, sex, etc. I see pure love, but sorrow, misery and heartbreak because of differences of background. I see a man who loves me, but can offer me nothing in the material senses, a man who is mad at the world, and who must sometimes take out his frustrations on me, but thru it all I see a man in love who is tortured by this love. I see a life with no security, only love to hold it together. Children who grow up angry at the world as my husband is. I see myself cut off from my people and relatives. </p><p style="text-align: left;">I can now choose between this life of love and the other, a life of security without as much meaning as the other. my problem - do I come back penitent, to my accustomed life and try to be a person in the "normal" pattern, or do I break with tradition to follow love wherever it leads me. I cannot make the choice myself and yet I have no one I can turn to who is not prejudiced for one side or the other. I wait for an event which will make me decide - in the meantime I am in a hellish limbo.</p><p style="text-align: left;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: center;"><i>DREAMS (8 April 1964)</i></p><p style="text-align: left;">I see the trains in</p><p style="text-align: left;">the yards going- </p><p style="text-align: left;">god knows where.</p><p style="text-align: left;">And I long to jump</p><p style="text-align: left;">on one and go with it,</p><p style="text-align: left;">But I go home - to a bed</p><p style="text-align: left;">with sheets.</p><p style="text-align: left;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: left;">I hear my man- broke,</p><p style="text-align: left;">Saying</p><p style="text-align: left;">Come with me,</p><p style="text-align: left;">I have nothing but- come.</p><p style="text-align: left;">But I go home- where the dog</p><p style="text-align: left;">eats better than him.</p><p style="text-align: left;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: left;">I read the poet who tells</p><p style="text-align: left;">me to catch the winds of</p><p style="text-align: left;">destiny wherever they drive</p><p style="text-align: left;">the boat-</p><p style="text-align: left;">But it is too late.</p><p style="text-align: left;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: left;">I am a solid citizen- shit!!!</p><p style="text-align: left;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: center;"><i>11:30 PM Aug. '70</i></p><p style="text-align: left;">When does it stop hurting - if ever?</p><p style="text-align: left;"><i> </i>When do longings die - or do they?</p><p style="text-align: left;">Why must I stop seeking<br /></p><p style="text-align: left;">How long will I cry.</p><p style="text-align: left;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: left;">If tomorrow I see David</p><p style="text-align: left;">What then will I say</p><p style="text-align: left;">Look out poss - whats to ya</p><p style="text-align: left;">Come lets go away</p><p style="text-align: left;"> </p><p style="text-align: left;">But, now I have a husband - proper</p><p style="text-align: left;">Now I have a son</p><p style="text-align: left;">And a daughter - also proper</p><p style="text-align: left;">Will I never, ever win.</p><p style="text-align: left;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: left;">When I feel youth around me</p><p style="text-align: left;">With their psychedelic colors</p><p style="text-align: left;">Searching, crying, learning, trying</p><p style="text-align: left;">Then my heart cries from within</p><p style="text-align: left;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: left;">Come and hear what I have suffered</p><p style="text-align: left;">Hear of battles never won</p><p style="text-align: left;">Know that I will feel forever</p><p style="text-align: left;">Tho the things be dead & gone.</p><p style="text-align: left;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: left;">Its a long way till we finish</p><p style="text-align: left;">All the things that we must do</p><p style="text-align: left;">And in the end are only</p><p style="text-align: left;">things so dead & gone</p><p style="text-align: left;"> </p><p style="text-align: left;">memories will I cherish</p><p style="text-align: left;">in the dark & secret nite</p><p style="text-align: left;">but never will I give up</p><p style="text-align: left;">the long & hurtful fite</p><p style="text-align: left;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: left;">in my pillow will I smile</p><p style="text-align: left;">at a face that's long gone by</p><p style="text-align: left;">but mostly I remember</p><p style="text-align: left;">and in the dark I cry.</p><p style="text-align: left;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: center;"><i>My Mother</i></p><p style="text-align: left;">My mother died the other day, and while going through her papers I suddenly found the reason for the far away look in her eyes she had every July, my mother hated July, I learned the reason for the black mark on the calendar in her private date book every July 16th. </p><p style="text-align: left;">My mother was once beautiful, I know I have seen many pictures of her. She was a brilliant woman and none of us knew why she had never finished college and become a plain housewife. Now I know. I have read her diaries and now I understand her as I never did when she lived. </p><p style="text-align: left;">She was a free girl beautiful and reflective, able to find the beauty in the everyday things of the world we all take from granted and never really see. She saw them, she could be transfixed by the trees against the sky, or sit up all night and watch the play of the air and the stars. She loved storms, wild storms, when the snow and the wind and the trees lash at each other and the forces of nature threaten to overwhelm us. She loved to watch a hurricane or a tornado and often would not take shelter but watch and revel in the passions of the world. She found in them an answer to her own passionate nature, unbridled and untamed.</p><p style="text-align: left;">My mother loved then, she loved a man, she loved him with all the force of her nature and she allowed her passion to rage unchecked. But she always knew that if they were to marry they would destroy each other. She did destroy him in the end, he followed her to the city and became an addict, I don't know what became of him for she suddenly stops writing of him and yet every once in a while she mused in her diary about meeting him again and she admits to herself that she would once again follow him and leave her family, her husband and her children. As I said she loved with all her being.</p><p style="text-align: left;">It was after she left this man that she met him. The other one. she never loved him. that she knew, but she conceived a child by him. She was too proud to marry a man she did not love and so she bore the child and the burden of unwed maternity alone. She left him with her head held high, and he never saw the scars on her soul. He never knew how her arms longed for the child she could not have, the child she saw only once in her life, the tiny infant daughter we never knew about. Never once during her life did he say anything about it, but her eyes grew dark every July and she cried. </p><p style="text-align: left;">She wrote about an Independence Day weekend that she walked the streets of the city, finding no one to speak to, no place to have a meal, her large belly and unringed hand prevented her from going in to a nice restaurant and her pride prevented her from asking assistance. She wrote how she slept in a downtown fleabag hotel until the time came to bear the child she had suffered for, and how when it was over she prayed for help to live the rest of her life without the child. She wrote of the long days she spent looking at each baby she came near wondering if it was hers and knowing that she had no right to think of it, no right to wonder about its new parents or its life. She wrote each July of what her daughter would be doing now, and followed the age of her child faithfully all her life, but she never said a word to me. </p><p style="text-align: left;">The following year she met and married my father and settled down to an outwardly respectable life. She had children who she raised with all the love she had left in her but something had died in her and she was no longer the wild girl she had been before. She was a good mother and a good wife. She and my father lived together in peace and happiness for many years and never a word to us about the weight on her heart, the burden she bore alone.</p><p style="text-align: left;">My mother died the other day and now I know why she hated July.</p><p style="text-align: left;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: left;">*it's a little weird to hear her write in what's supposed to be my voice, and assume my feelings. I never noticed my mother liking or hating any month over any other, and I never knew the 16th was a hard day for her. I does happen to be my half-sister's birthday, so I guess that answers that one. Mom eventually finished college and ended up with two Bachelor's degrees and two Master's degrees, and there's nothing shameful about being a housewife, 'plain' or any other kind, in my opinion (Mom also had a long and lucrative career as a librarian). she did not strike me as someone who cared much for the weather, past being inside when it didn't agree with her, which was often, though she did enjoy waking up in the early hours of the day when meteor showers tend to happen, and I did appreciate that about her. while it sounds to me like her friend David came with some serious red flags, I can respect that from 19 through 26 she thought he was the great love of her life. did she continue to pine for him after all the long years? or did there come a point in time when the 30 years she spent living, loving, and fighting with my dad eventually overshadow David's memory? I wish there was more to read, but what I've shared here is the bulk of what I was given, aside from a few other poems and letters. she did eventually tell me about her other daughter, probably just over 10 years ago when my own baby born out of wedlock was in Kindergarten, and she had found her. she wanted us to meet, and so we did. I think she's a cool lady, and I call her my half-sister. her mom, the woman who raised her, thanked my mom for completing her family. I think it's sweet, I'm glad it had a happy ending for my mom, and I hope it brought joy to my half-sister and her mom, too. it's sad to think how much more we could have shared with each other if my mom had managed to parent more from a place of love than a place of fear, but she did what she could with what she had, and she did her best, just like most of the rest of us. so many lost chances, so many missed opportunities for understanding, healing, and communication. people - talk your stories. you never know which ones may make a difference in someone's life. I wished I'd known more about my mom...I wish she'd felt empowered to tell me more about who she was. either way, I loved her. </p><p style="text-align: center;">💙 💜 💙 </p><p style="text-align: center;"><br /></p>Mama Pajamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10278474039105398842noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2740055889978712690.post-91173124121395800962021-11-04T13:03:00.000-04:002021-11-04T13:03:13.534-04:00Dona Nobis Pacem 2021<br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSf7Pl8u0_cc3At4cXBHZ8ZJHsAaQFDGC50fVzLB8f7PYTvBj8MTpOKnWzsQOH-V3scJ4KACZA-jW3sKxKsHEorpzpWh0k-OxF5gK-uO9Ch0iYzKpAtgHecy42gmgGBeEdQS3S0yUdboCj/s440/Blog4Peace+Template+%25232+Nov+4+Mimi+Lenox.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="329" data-original-width="440" height="299" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSf7Pl8u0_cc3At4cXBHZ8ZJHsAaQFDGC50fVzLB8f7PYTvBj8MTpOKnWzsQOH-V3scJ4KACZA-jW3sKxKsHEorpzpWh0k-OxF5gK-uO9Ch0iYzKpAtgHecy42gmgGBeEdQS3S0yUdboCj/w400-h299/Blog4Peace+Template+%25232+Nov+4+Mimi+Lenox.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br /><p>as I struggle to find my own personal peace during this particular period of my parenting journey, I wonder what there is to say about our collective peace around the world. what has this year brought us in terms of coming together and working as a team to achieve some worthwhile goals? can we? have we? do we? </p><p>like most people, my mind tends toward the negative - the horrific <a href="https://indigenousfoundations.arts.ubc.ca/the_residential_school_system/" target="_blank">residential schools</a> that tortured and killed so many innocent Indigenous children in North America. the <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2021_United_States_Capitol_attack" target="_blank">attempted insurrection</a> at the Capitol building in the USA following our presidential election. how <a href="https://blacklivesmatter.com/?__cf_chl_jschl_tk__=hSVP3WStdRPOM.IxCKiqfLeLH3OFVsXF8a_73Y5rfds-1636037831-0-gaNycGzNCFE" target="_blank">Black Lives Matter</a>, yet still don't seem to get the justice they deserve. how <a href="https://mmiwusa.org/" target="_blank">Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women</a> (and other Black and Brown women) aren't given the attention they deserve. which is to say nothing of the ongoing pandemic, and the resulting economic instability...corruption continues to run rampant as democracies crumble, and iniquity grows. let's not forget to add what's quickly becoming a climate emergency to the list, too.<br /></p><p>given this recipe for disaster, it's interesting to note that the <a href="https://www.visionofhumanity.org/maps/#/" target="_blank">Global Peace Index</a> reports that while peace continues to deteriorate around the world, it supposedly decreased at a smaller rate this year than usual. well, thank goodness for small miracles, hey?<br /></p><p>it constantly seems to me like the world is on fire, and I cannot understand why 'the powers that be' refuse to see the simple truth that most people living hand to mouth inherently 'get' - that we need each other to survive. I know the uber-rich think they're just going to shoot themselves off into space and therefore avoid the whole issue, while ignoring the fact that the money they put into their little space-trips could feed entire nations for a year or more. look at whose net worth increased by the billions during a time of global strife and you will know where to point your fingers when war/famine/disease land on your front door.</p><p>ugh. there's so much to be disgusted by, so let's look at what (if anything) got better this year:<br /></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>the total number of assets divested from the fossil fuel industry has
increased to about $14 trillion globally, and government fossil fuel
subsidies has fallen to a record low of $181 billion in 2020, a 42% drop
from 2019</li><li><span>in the long run, murders and other crimes have fallen...in wars and other violent conflicts, deaths are at their lowest number
in history.</span></li><li><span></span><span>less violence in the world may also be related to the fact that </span><span>people are more intelligent</span><span>. </span></li><li><span>t</span><span>he shrinking of the ozone
layer prompted an adequate response, and we are seeing the first signs
of </span><span>the ozone layer returning to normal</span><span>. </span></li><li><span>t</span><span>he carbon intensity of the US economy has been declining for over half a century and </span><span>CO2 emissions have also been declining worldwide</span></li><li><span><span>the United Nations has adopted the Goals of Sustainable
Development, which aim not only at improving the environment in general
but also at improving the quality of life around the world.</span> <br /></span></li><li><span> </span><span>the Internet is leading to the spread of knowledge and the further elimination of geopolitical and social inequalities.</span></li></ul><p><span>I don't know...the info varies depending on which site you visit, so I'm not going to back any of these statements as true, but I've posted some links and a few articles (above and below) so you can check them out for yourself. for <b>my</b> self, I'm working to increase my own peace by tending to my spiritual well-being, and amplifying the voices I feel need/deserve amplification (click those links!). <br /></span></p><p><span>how are you creating peace in your corner of the world? do you believe housing is a human right? how about access to clean water and food? education? health care? trans rights? sex work being real work? if yes, right on! if not...why?<br /></span></p><p><span><br /></span></p><p><span><u>resources:</u> <br /></span></p><p><span><a href="https://www.fastcompany.com/90658868/between-2020-and-2021-the-earths-vital-signs-got-worse" target="_blank">Pessimism Makes The Headlines But The World Is Getting Better</a></span></p><p><span><a href="https://www.fastcompany.com/90658868/between-2020-and-2021-the-earths-vital-signs-got-worse" target="_blank">Between 2020 and 2021, the Earth's vital signs got worse</a> </span></p><p><span><a href="https://www.vox.com/2014/11/24/7272929/global-poverty-health-crime-literacy-good-news" target="_blank">23 charts and maps that show the world is getting much, much better</a></span></p><p><span></span></p>Mama Pajamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10278474039105398842noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2740055889978712690.post-42628393322043225622021-08-23T04:32:00.001-04:002021-08-23T04:32:12.319-04:00Full Blue Moon in Aquarius Community Reading<p>wow, that's some kind of energy out there this weekend, huh? I've got a jar of water out charging in the moonlight, and as we're also expecting some wind & rain from the hurricane in the Atlantic, it's gonna be one powerful elixir! </p><p> </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcPLI2M6TUcvQFvF-a_8Y-Io2W5bsJevi-PWza1x-kjhJ5fPqR3C_KFoaXK9OGKEpfOYTsRsvlqP3cy7w5IfM0RYZWhof2eaL91PETXhWFBu0a-R-sQl05WWCXv63OovTja6QACrfj1yx4/s2048/20210821_235349.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1229" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcPLI2M6TUcvQFvF-a_8Y-Io2W5bsJevi-PWza1x-kjhJ5fPqR3C_KFoaXK9OGKEpfOYTsRsvlqP3cy7w5IfM0RYZWhof2eaL91PETXhWFBu0a-R-sQl05WWCXv63OovTja6QACrfj1yx4/w192-h320/20210821_235349.jpg" width="192" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">set a jar of water out after sundown, and bring it in before sunrise to make moon water!<br /></td></tr></tbody></table><p></p><p> </p><p>there was a full moon in Aquarius on July 23, so this lunation is closing that energy out - its all about changing into who we mean to become, which is by no means easy, but the release of pent up emotions will certainly be healing...hopefully of the past so we may move more freely into our futures. that it's a blue moon only <b>amplifies</b> its power, giving us the courage and creative energy to help new inspirations for the collective take flight...release release release! 'we the collective' have never been more aware of our personal gifts, and the need to share them - take a look back and be proud of how far we've come! we may find that dialing down any arrogance and judgement helps us to simply recognize our value, and polish ourselves to (near) perfection. a little "know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em" energy! notice what ignites your passions, and focus on lighting that fire...or alternatively, what scares you to death, and what helps you manage to keep steady and calm? do we talk about it/use that motivation? or do we keep it to ourselves so we can deep-dive in solitude? who are we when no one's looking? let's make sure to free ourselves of any old, outdated restrictions we're stuck in and grow into everything the collective needs us - and who we need ourselves - to be. here's what we got:<br /></p><p><br /> </p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjB4R6ptFC4-XZ0a2Tm5Ehjq4ClKZnoIsk9xseOMap9h0e87PIMiD5cMZe8CrB2YXe453ZVeZqu7g60eQiU6pSxoRuMmZe7HV6wOVNPdMQ1rLhLP13yT4jx1D1NCnb0r4hAvQ621ERMsg_B/s2048/20210822_154614.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1229" data-original-width="2048" height="192" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjB4R6ptFC4-XZ0a2Tm5Ehjq4ClKZnoIsk9xseOMap9h0e87PIMiD5cMZe8CrB2YXe453ZVeZqu7g60eQiU6pSxoRuMmZe7HV6wOVNPdMQ1rLhLP13yT4jx1D1NCnb0r4hAvQ621ERMsg_B/w320-h192/20210822_154614.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">image shows three cards from The Tarot of a Moon Garden - 9 of Staffs (reversed)/10 of Pentacles/The Hierophant, with a small feather and a string of beads, on a light cloth background.<br /></td></tr></tbody></table><br /><p><b>9 of Staffs</b> (reversed): that chip on our shoulder is telling us that we haven't been learning from our past mistakes...it's the over-identification with struggle mentality that has us tending to fail at the finish. focusing on our triumphs - honoring the challenges we've managed to turn into opportunities - can help shift our mindset from victim to victor. we're So Close, we HAVE to keep going! there's nothing to be gained from wasting energy being angry that life isn't fair; use it instead to recognize and correct an indefensible position...like creating our own drama and blaming it on others (we all do it, we just change the story to suit our purposes). there's still a lot of work to do, so let's get after it! and maybe ease up on the restrictions/boundaries a bit...we need to learn to compromise.<br /></p><p><b>10 of Pentacles</b>: a long hard path to get to where everything we put work into will flourish; a permanence and satisfaction made all the sweeter for being shared with family. our plan for the future - the solid foundation on which we support and care for our legacy. so much abundance through a balance of emotional and physical work. deep roots help generational abundance thrive. can this energy feel stagnant, though? boring? does it need a good dose of conflict? while a conventionally stable life feels safe and expansive, we may need to ask if we're doing what really matters to us. remember to spend time pursuing our passions while enjoying the fruits of our labors.<br /> </p><p><b>The Hierophant</b>: following the path of knowledge and education through sacred institutions, embracing convention, following the process/rules. a trusted mentor that helps align us with our core values, a symbol of the sacred, and spiritual awareness. being ok with asking for what we need. someone who can and will provide wisdom and guidance, or someone who is set in their ways. don't rock the boat. taking part in a ceremony or ritual of your own creation.</p><p> </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRBR3ksdwNg73Y3R_ApLVLAYZiM3_LHYlwJ4VTaAg7YHakpzOfa8Ae-S79KJMphWs4U2y8dW6LxSUlYyyL-jee0fnJ52ZPv8lMi7TC3rj3nCsa_AViDbSjw65Uok1jEbayMyg89pn5Mv28/s736/4636d603ca72fd7c0a7bc56c535619c3.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="413" data-original-width="736" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRBR3ksdwNg73Y3R_ApLVLAYZiM3_LHYlwJ4VTaAg7YHakpzOfa8Ae-S79KJMphWs4U2y8dW6LxSUlYyyL-jee0fnJ52ZPv8lMi7TC3rj3nCsa_AViDbSjw65Uok1jEbayMyg89pn5Mv28/w320-h180/4636d603ca72fd7c0a7bc56c535619c3.png" width="320" /></a></div><br /> <p></p><p>if the message here is to 'get out of our own way' and stop creating drama that holds us back from working towards building a solid foundation for our future, then perhaps <i>in this moment</i> we need to learn how to do that through established practices and conventional collective wisdom. this doesn't appear to be an opportune time to seek out groundbreaking new practices, or cutting-edge solutions - stick with the tried and true for success in this instance. where are we failing, and why? in what ways are we stepping on our own toes, and avoiding our deepest, most necessary work for the needs of the collective? how can we best move forward together in ways that honor and uplift us all? how much work have we done towards updating the 'collective wisdom' in our time, and can we do more?<br /></p><p>I know <i>I</i> have a lot to think about in terms of how best to move forward with bringing my dreams to fruition, and 'following the established rules' is probably a great place to start, in my case. as always, thank you for coming along, commenting, and sharing - this reading is
for anyone who wants/needs it! as always, I hope there's something in
here for you personally, and feel free to <a href="https://www.facebook.com/mysteriam.tarot.dreamwork">contact me for a private reading</a>. </p><p style="text-align: center;">💙💜💙</p><p> </p><p><br /> </p><p>resources:</p><p><a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/CS2MrBvra6h/">Light Witch Tarot Shop</a></p><p><a href="https://www.thehoodwitch.com/blog/2021/8/21/the-blue-moon-in-aquarius">The Hood Witch</a></p><p><a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/CS3GRjgrecX/">Anima Mundi Herbals</a></p><p><a href="https://youtu.be/Iv0pDvz57pA">Dr. Michael Lennox</a></p><p><a href="https://youtu.be/Iv0pDvz57pA">210 42hz Aquarius full moon frequency </a><br /></p>Mama Pajamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10278474039105398842noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2740055889978712690.post-28352696142688770312021-08-14T19:15:00.000-04:002021-08-14T19:15:06.380-04:00Friday the 13th/Saturday the 14th Shabbat Community Reading <div class="separator"></div><p>it feels like forever since I posted a community reading but I've been moving house, so between the packing up and looking for an apartment (again), and doing the actual lift & carry, I've been a bit absent to say the least. here it is two weeks later, and I'm just starting to get back to my routines, as the whole process was emotionally, mentally, and <i>very</i> physically draining, and I've needed some serious recuperation time filled with relaxation and self-care. not to mention all the astrology! how have you all managed to navigate: the Venus/Mars alignment, Chiron & Eris going retrograde, Midsummer, and the Lion's Gate portal energy? it's been a roller-coaster ride of emotional turmoil for me and mine, and I'm looking forward to the gentle energy of the next full (blue) moon on the 22nd.</p><p> </p><p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVGntjKkf0XK5QXvx9WlENfth6gvws-tIdCahyphenhyphen4XA7kemgmwyF7Bc5HEDjhgrjWLkGD1quTffQWQPmrH3bu2RiRdFvDfLIKZVFTAW_TOOzf5d348aVe2EGJt8X0bHneUsN64WDws8O3wCX/s480/full-moon-aquarius.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="396" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVGntjKkf0XK5QXvx9WlENfth6gvws-tIdCahyphenhyphen4XA7kemgmwyF7Bc5HEDjhgrjWLkGD1quTffQWQPmrH3bu2RiRdFvDfLIKZVFTAW_TOOzf5d348aVe2EGJt8X0bHneUsN64WDws8O3wCX/s320/full-moon-aquarius.jpg" width="264" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">image I found on the internet that I couldn't find any info on ~<br /></td></tr></tbody></table> </p><p>for today's community reading, I'm using the Tarot of a Moon Garden because the moon is obviously on my mind. we're currently at a waxing crescent, but I'm feeling the pull to be more attuned to moon energy as the days get shorter, and we sink deeper into the dark half of the year. I know it's a weird thing to think about while we're still engulfed in a heat wave in the US, with the annual wildfires burning on our western coast, but as the weather gets ever more extreme, I'm doing my best to tune in to how the Earth herself wants me to roll with the updates. also with peri- or menopause, I'm not as aware of my own cycles, so am looking to the heavens for guidance and wisdom. here's what we got:</p><p> </p><p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZUpQ33uxpBLdCAWNhoEJiVlja6cDZd9gIJo0ywdnytNUeeavJ-RQ23cOw6Jryu15q7LjzAExLgxp8-dHK4faQLRAHFDRg_gbtX5wkuH-W4INb9-rnfhcrPEMEn5xetNqDIthTRuFR5Z1Q/s2048/20210814_141355.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1218" data-original-width="2048" height="238" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZUpQ33uxpBLdCAWNhoEJiVlja6cDZd9gIJo0ywdnytNUeeavJ-RQ23cOw6Jryu15q7LjzAExLgxp8-dHK4faQLRAHFDRg_gbtX5wkuH-W4INb9-rnfhcrPEMEn5xetNqDIthTRuFR5Z1Q/w400-h238/20210814_141355.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">image shows four cards from the Tarot of a Moon Garden - The Empress/The Chariot/2 of Pentacles/The Moon, on a pastel background with horizontal silver stripes, crowned by eucalyptus, a gold-tipped feather, driftwood, and a fairy jar.<br /></td></tr></tbody></table><br /> </p><p>wow, look at all that creative energy in motion! I dropped one card while shuffling and set it aside, then drew the first three cards. after looking them over and hearing their message, I turned over the 'jumper' card, and would you believe it was The Moon? of course you would, because you believe in magic and synchronicity (and I posted a picture), and you know I smiled when I saw it and said, "of course." so what is it saying?</p><p><b>The Empress</b> - abundance, bounty, generative fertility, She is the Garden of Eden, an Earthly paradise. all things creative and sensual, nature and nurture, coming to fruition. the spirit that fills our existence, unstructured inspiration, joyful wholeness. bring this loving, compassionate energy into your life, let it infuse your days and electrify your nights - start that project, support its growth! pregnancy? birth? who knows? be in nature, and feel thankful for all it offers! </p><p><b>The Chariot</b> - authentic power and purpose, well earned victory. who can we be through the refinement of our habits and rituals once we know ourselves? "what's next" energy. confidence and control. harness this determined and triumphant energy for success - act on it with focus, push through, and win! ...and maybe there's some travel coming soon for some of you?</p><p><b>Two of Pentacles</b> - harmonies dancing in the midst of change. skillfully balanced, but...are your priorities getting the attention they deserve? adapt and flow, adjust as needed on repeat. </p><p>bonus card:</p><p><b>The Moon</b> - dreams, magic, mystery...honor your imagination, listen to your heart, and hold hands with your fear of the unknown. nothing is what it seems, here, so use your intuition over your thought process, feel what's right in your gut. work with the moon's phases, and it's light, for clarity and understanding. finding those hidden truths, and freeing them from the past, is the best way forward. </p><p> </p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheRXBGApxMaVHaI7oE5NZHqUtY2v7quSJcnnzG61iRHrZHBuyWVxyJRH6Fo8bMPN9VGUW_Vm5bMTXFyldJ57sSjelkczOk6XWD8paibDnQwkKjrVNUZM_0_VoOVW_MeanyCm3SjHUq0ePc/s321/tarot-of-a-moon-garden-07998.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="321" data-original-width="185" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheRXBGApxMaVHaI7oE5NZHqUtY2v7quSJcnnzG61iRHrZHBuyWVxyJRH6Fo8bMPN9VGUW_Vm5bMTXFyldJ57sSjelkczOk6XWD8paibDnQwkKjrVNUZM_0_VoOVW_MeanyCm3SjHUq0ePc/w184-h320/tarot-of-a-moon-garden-07998.jpg" width="184" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Tarot of a Moon Garden - The Moon card<br /></td></tr></tbody></table><p> </p><p>I hope everyone has been well - and again, thank you for coming along, commenting, and sharing - this reading is
for anyone who wants/needs it! as always, I hope there's something in
here for you personally, and feel free to <a href="https://www.facebook.com/mysteriam.tarot.dreamwork">contact me for a private reading</a>. </p><p style="text-align: center;">💙💜💙</p>Mama Pajamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10278474039105398842noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2740055889978712690.post-88005209665567602442021-07-09T16:13:00.003-04:002021-07-09T16:18:37.358-04:00Moon Rose Water Ritual Bath/dreams<p>I made this amazing Rose Moon Water (pictured below) during my full moon ritual two weeks ago and a few days later, finally had the time and space to be able to bathe in it. I put some of it in a small spray bottle and used it to mist my sheets, bed, face, and space with it, and I really loved the vibe it gave off. I'd been feeling really connected to my late maternal grandmother, and I honestly think it's the roses - 'Rose' was her middle name, and she grew roses in her garden. she made it very clear that she's offering love and support to me while I've been navigating some difficult family situations in the midst of mourning my mother (her daughter), who passed away three months ago. as we're currently in a Neptune retrograde - a great time for this kind of work - I thought it would be nice to use my Rose Moon Water to help channel both my mother and her mother, and connect with them through dreamwork, where I meet with my ancestors.</p><p> </p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3mi0Pb2mrA-dq-XU0rONN4XEvrMsZgNHYeLzu8LbDYJVNoP9cMCqM24cNH7f1V435Z58CEjlpcsQqJpB2BGN9Xs5Q3jzgtmooNAnjD1YJDnT_Jal4HYcjJe0mx1UIGGmgOLLsyM9dLDMr/s2048/20210625_071015.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1229" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3mi0Pb2mrA-dq-XU0rONN4XEvrMsZgNHYeLzu8LbDYJVNoP9cMCqM24cNH7f1V435Z58CEjlpcsQqJpB2BGN9Xs5Q3jzgtmooNAnjD1YJDnT_Jal4HYcjJe0mx1UIGGmgOLLsyM9dLDMr/w240-h400/20210625_071015.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">image shows a glass mason jar filled with reddish-pink water infused with roses, and left out under a full moon<br /></td></tr></tbody></table><p> </p><p>rose water is made by simmering rose petals in water, and moon water is made by leaving a jug of water out under the moon - during any phase; I just made this particular batch during the full moon. so I made rose water from the roses I bought for the Solstice and used in my full moon ritual, then left the rose water out in the light of the full moon, and voilà! Rose Moon Water! moon water can be used in any of the ways that you use water - to charge and clean crystals, cleanse your energetic body, clean your home, water your plants, for drinking/bathing/cooking, basically everything! rose water also has a myriad of uses including soothing skin ailments and irritations, treating sore throats/skin redness/acne/cuts and burns...it can be used in eye drops, to treat infection, to lift your mood and soothe headaches, reduce wrinkles, aid in digestion, to cook with, and makes a great facial cleanser and toner. it's an antibacterial, anti-inflammatory, antiseptic, analgesic, antioxidant, antidepressant/anti-anxiety powerhouse! so combining the rose water's natural healing properties with the energies of the full moon, I was looking forward to a great big healing rosy hug from my grandmother before retreating to my dream sanctuary to hopefully connect with both her and my mother on the other side of the veil. </p><p> </p><p></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcbM4mlHGIZRSyGt0wXwekp9fVfB97_r5HPzQDu4tD4z3KBUHHIDBgT73j6pMvFyMG_Hz5HmS4TtwbJn6vhosRBecZ3OxsXWifoBC3aw4c9_Dgx1oChtGQS91qzKf5pQ4SUNiG5OGHXq6k/s2048/20210328_140654+%25282%2529.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1388" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcbM4mlHGIZRSyGt0wXwekp9fVfB97_r5HPzQDu4tD4z3KBUHHIDBgT73j6pMvFyMG_Hz5HmS4TtwbJn6vhosRBecZ3OxsXWifoBC3aw4c9_Dgx1oChtGQS91qzKf5pQ4SUNiG5OGHXq6k/w271-h400/20210328_140654+%25282%2529.jpg" width="271" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">my mother and grandmother, when they were both younger than I am now. image shows two women in printed dresses seated outdoors.<br /></td></tr></tbody></table> <p></p><p>the general wisdom surrounding dreamwork is that one needs to enter a dedicated scared space in which to incubate the kind of dreams that go deeper than our minds just reliving our day - into that gateway between where we can experience meaning. that this space not be our bedrooms is also part of that wisdom, though many of us don't necessarily have the ability to set up a space to sleep and dream in <i>other </i>than our bedrooms, so just work with what you've got. if you do have that kind of space to play with - or you if you simply want to bring some of these elements into your existing bedroom - than the colors blue (believed to reduce heart rate and blood pressure), purple, and silver (for some 'otherworldly' charm) are good choices.</p><p><br /></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhByEMeSYgOKxq7nBgYtd4kArqPMwxeZtk8NYjBxOl7bMQ9qBeUXjNK0GaPqsbN4Aj73YDnMp-DOum0mM-EQiiT0H2M1Wl1hhxnLgJj1xxXNqN2xBXPLgPQE5l-rgBQwvPqavRt4ISzKA0t/s1200/IMG00263+%25282%2529.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhByEMeSYgOKxq7nBgYtd4kArqPMwxeZtk8NYjBxOl7bMQ9qBeUXjNK0GaPqsbN4Aj73YDnMp-DOum0mM-EQiiT0H2M1Wl1hhxnLgJj1xxXNqN2xBXPLgPQE5l-rgBQwvPqavRt4ISzKA0t/s320/IMG00263+%25282%2529.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">lucky me, jewel-tones of blue and purple with silver accents is my bedroom aesthetic. image shows a white curtain blowing in the breeze across a blue and purple tapestry of peacocks in a tree.<br /></td></tr></tbody></table><p> </p><p>for the bath, it goes without saying that the whole room be clean and tidy, but in a pinch, as long as the tub is clean, go for it. I will leave the lights off and burn a bay leaf or two to clear the energies, then run the bath. while the tub fills, I'll play some calming music or binaural beats, light some candles and incense, and place some crystals around the tub; I use quartz, amethyst, citrine, & rose quartz...if you have some moonstone, it would make the perfect addition. there's also eucalyptus hanging in my shower, so the steam from the bath should release those oils as well. I'll set out a small dish of honey to use as a facial cleanser, and in a bowl, combine: </p><blockquote><p>Epsom salt</p></blockquote><blockquote><p>baking soda</p></blockquote><blockquote><p>a few drops of lavender essential oil <br /></p></blockquote><blockquote><p>dried rose petals <br /></p></blockquote><blockquote><p>fresh freesia petals<br /></p></blockquote><p>during this prep work, it's important to be setting one's intentions all the while. consciously listening to what the energies are telling us, moving in the ways they want us to go. this much salt/soda (cup and a half?/like a teaspoon). that much lavender (three drops, maybe). these flowers...dance with it. by now the bathroom is all steam and scent and soft sounds, and entering into it deepens a shifted mindset. my head will already be both open and focused when I pour the Rose Moon Water into the filling tub, followed by the bowl of salt/soda/scent/flower petals. and when the tub is full, it's time to call on one's guides, and step into the bliss. </p><p> </p><p></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-PIAWczT_woWa9Z4xc2kUfk7MdaZQXlJTrBCZCQB45U3_SUKlNruVgrTIpWHEEjmp8RkFapcPdvVkfadGlS0qAP68PHKZzuUSd2FpgOsC3nBBTWx-SgPUBsTgbje25jEAgda3Jee8a5qQ/s2048/20210629_211121.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1229" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-PIAWczT_woWa9Z4xc2kUfk7MdaZQXlJTrBCZCQB45U3_SUKlNruVgrTIpWHEEjmp8RkFapcPdvVkfadGlS0qAP68PHKZzuUSd2FpgOsC3nBBTWx-SgPUBsTgbje25jEAgda3Jee8a5qQ/w240-h400/20210629_211121.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">image shows flower petals floating in a bath. there was so much steam it was hard to get any pictures!<br /></td></tr></tbody></table><br /><p></p><p>soak in your delight. talk to your crystals and touch them. put some in the bath with you (careful! some will dissolve, so do your research). lay back and breathe deeply. let your head empty, your shoulders relax, and your body heal. pay special attention to any areas of your body that need it the most - massage any sore spots, scrapes, and cuts...feel where any energy might be blocked and help keep it moving. ask yourself what you need. ask your people to bring the answers to you in your dreams. also be gentle with yourself, and go slowly - these experiences can be intense. </p><p>when I'm done (usually when I start to doze off and/or the water starts getting too cold) I'll drain the tub and shower off. this is a good time to use any special towels or robes that you save for ritual occasions; I'd say it's also a good time to use any fancy body products you might like to indulge with, but after all the magical goodness I added to my bath, I just let the natural oils seep into my skin and left it at that (my skin felt like rose petals). the crystals get placed on the altar, and I'll take a moment to choose one to bring as I head to bed to dream... </p><p> </p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOV11H4jeXZObhndYBbp6Asw6WYaqCGNIPMMFLxdhtf9LSgn3qjeLtxq6DxgMqcRQ3Q3CIbrtGiTbBYTCd0_MpPSHjWUcYSkMwU0H1xQzVdaIPT4d0jTkM3nlVau5cPR072e042l_G9o1B/s1200/Coyote-Woman-Dreaming-Susan+Seddon+Boulet.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="842" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOV11H4jeXZObhndYBbp6Asw6WYaqCGNIPMMFLxdhtf9LSgn3qjeLtxq6DxgMqcRQ3Q3CIbrtGiTbBYTCd0_MpPSHjWUcYSkMwU0H1xQzVdaIPT4d0jTkM3nlVau5cPR072e042l_G9o1B/w281-h400/Coyote-Woman-Dreaming-Susan+Seddon+Boulet.jpg" width="281" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Coyote Woman Dreaming by Susan Seddon Boulet<br /></td></tr></tbody></table><p> </p><p>now, the dreams we go looking for don't always come right away, but if we stay alert, we'll find them! use the crystals in your work, or simply carry them around with you to keep the energy moving in a direction. do use a dream journal every morning upon waking to write down what you remember of your travels in the night ~<br /></p><p style="text-align: center;"><br /></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsx3DLHzswId4n97elcXYcVtRR_0ZlsQbPoBFH0hAL8Ol45Q6j5L4O0p-0XzcA3IZUkMrVrVADJWjq68hSdp8LYsADJnnUfqp2FdupRUUV5ifuvlIJZ6W926gF_0_iOPHE9cDXzAEMHKxg/s696/Paul+Kuczynski.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="479" data-original-width="696" height="275" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsx3DLHzswId4n97elcXYcVtRR_0ZlsQbPoBFH0hAL8Ol45Q6j5L4O0p-0XzcA3IZUkMrVrVADJWjq68hSdp8LYsADJnnUfqp2FdupRUUV5ifuvlIJZ6W926gF_0_iOPHE9cDXzAEMHKxg/w400-h275/Paul+Kuczynski.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">art by Pawel Kuczynski<br /></td></tr></tbody></table><p><span class="d2edcug0 hpfvmrgz qv66sw1b c1et5uql lr9zc1uh a8c37x1j keod5gw0 nxhoafnm aigsh9s9 d3f4x2em fe6kdd0r mau55g9w c8b282yb iv3no6db jq4qci2q a3bd9o3v knj5qynh oo9gr5id hzawbc8m" dir="auto"> </span></p><p><span class="d2edcug0 hpfvmrgz qv66sw1b c1et5uql lr9zc1uh a8c37x1j keod5gw0 nxhoafnm aigsh9s9 d3f4x2em fe6kdd0r mau55g9w c8b282yb iv3no6db jq4qci2q a3bd9o3v knj5qynh oo9gr5id hzawbc8m" dir="auto">*<i>the night of my bath, I dreamt my already long hair (to my butt) reached all the
way to the floor, and whomever was there with me (Mom?) was measuring it either
against their own, someone else's, or in general. long hair in dreams
suggests growth, strength, and is an Earth symbol...the growth of the
spirit, psychic abilities, and a connection to all living things.
alternatively, it can suggest thinking long and carefully about a
decision, or concentrating on a plan or situation. also indicative of
good health, virility, sexuality, and vanity. can point to overthinking a situation and not acting.</i></span></p><p><span class="d2edcug0 hpfvmrgz qv66sw1b c1et5uql lr9zc1uh a8c37x1j keod5gw0 nxhoafnm aigsh9s9 d3f4x2em fe6kdd0r mau55g9w c8b282yb iv3no6db jq4qci2q a3bd9o3v knj5qynh oo9gr5id hzawbc8m" dir="auto"><i> </i></span></p><p>again, thank you for coming along, commenting, and sharing - this post is
for anyone who wants/needs it! as always, I hope there's something in
here for you personally, and feel free to <a href="https://www.facebook.com/mysteriam.tarot.dreamwork">contact me for a private reading</a>. </p><p style="text-align: center;">💙💜💙</p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p>resources:</p><p>some ritual practices from <a href="http://www.lunalunamagazine.com/dark/3-sleep-dream-magic-practices">lunaluna</a> for more info<br /></p><p>some lunar bath rituals from <a href="https://www.wellandgood.com/moon-bath-ritual/">well + good</a><br /></p>Mama Pajamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10278474039105398842noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2740055889978712690.post-43261728923279768752021-06-26T13:17:00.002-04:002021-06-26T13:35:00.998-04:00Neptune (Pluto, Saturn, Jupiter) Retrograde Shabbat Community Reading<p>whew! now that we're through the eclipses, mercury retrograde, and the full moon, are you ready to settle into some Neptune retrograde energy (along with Pluto, Saturn, and Jupiter)? I know I am! </p><p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglb1rveRNq-zoo_KOvJtKVvB8K3ylZxX_K3trlXIKQGbzYzrGdEJAU1KlC9yo4iHt9ZIA06vz_PTCoHe2LUcyBXEEuJ5qBHrm6NP4siGfwjtDeFGsaycUrhqHMWCrSJBGeOm1oruuY_uvL/s1080/09b6e96a160a8e409ddcf402b019954c.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglb1rveRNq-zoo_KOvJtKVvB8K3ylZxX_K3trlXIKQGbzYzrGdEJAU1KlC9yo4iHt9ZIA06vz_PTCoHe2LUcyBXEEuJ5qBHrm6NP4siGfwjtDeFGsaycUrhqHMWCrSJBGeOm1oruuY_uvL/w320-h320/09b6e96a160a8e409ddcf402b019954c.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p><br /></p><p></p><p>Neptune goes retrograde every year for 5 months - and it stays in each sign for <b>14 years</b>, which apparently gives a certain nuance to entire generations. currently in its own native sign of Pisces, Neptune encompasses deeply personal, creative, & dreamy energy...too much of it and we get muddled, cloudy, and can't distinguish between the realms of imagination and the day-to-day. during its retrograde - because those are internal journeys - we can embrace the clarity and insight of our feelings, thoughts, intuition, and dreams that Neptune brings forward for us,which makes these great times for soul searching, meditation, and reconnecting with Self.</p><p> </p><p></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2kePwvxrK10X2EUenDgfqH_ZsTSp0cKZySnynQJ8wW1wXlZSDzf71XuXwwmePioJLlMeCTxFvN9Ow_v8WBndP96zPd4YLcclQaoJ1T-1EkpHpsNbVklhtqjVBD-UXVRYSEwDReupz9ZDc/s770/underwater-castle_wide1-1024x576-770x433.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="433" data-original-width="770" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2kePwvxrK10X2EUenDgfqH_ZsTSp0cKZySnynQJ8wW1wXlZSDzf71XuXwwmePioJLlMeCTxFvN9Ow_v8WBndP96zPd4YLcclQaoJ1T-1EkpHpsNbVklhtqjVBD-UXVRYSEwDReupz9ZDc/s320/underwater-castle_wide1-1024x576-770x433.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">cool dreamy/watery image I swiped off the internet - I honestly could not find any info on it.<br /></td></tr></tbody></table><br /> <p></p><p style="text-align: left;">finding ways to strengthen our intuition is a great creative practice, and the kind of work that is its own reward. caution: manifest with pure intent only! having a heart-to-heart with anyone we need to forgive (or who needs to forgive us) and embracing love will strengthen those ltr's. DO DREAM WORK. take good care of ourselves to stay grounded, and don't make any rash decisions. it seems that the advice is once again to "slow down and reflect" on everything...I feel like every month I ask "how much more of that can we possibly do?!" I've slowed down so much, I feel like <i><b>I'm</b></i> in retrograde! Neptune and his ocean waters...all that mystery in which to trust our intuition. stop, look, and listen - be clear and flush out the ugly truths that need releasing.</p><p style="text-align: left;">this week's tarot/oracle questions come from Christine <a href="https://www.instagram.com/moonandcactus/">@moonandcactus</a>, who offers us the <span class="_8Pl3R"><span>affirmation: "I let go of any fantasies that aren’t aligned with my true purpose."
also, "don't run away from truth/reality"...that's a good one that I'm
holding close to the bone for my personal journey at the moment. </span></span><span class="_8Pl3R"><span>yup, all the bullshit is being stripped away again, and
it's time to face up to doing our work </span></span><span class="_8Pl3R"><span><span class="_8Pl3R"><span>(I'm still going through the paces of my eclipse shadow work)</span></span>. we are encouraged to do it through the arts to get ourselves on a higher plane. the clarity here has so much healing
potential, given our heightened ability to see where we need
to focus our work, and our empathy</span></span>. for this reading I used The Faeries Oracle because I owed them a favor, and we could all use some playfulness in our lives. here's what we got: </p><p style="text-align: left;"> </p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRlvRypAhJKAt4KLGyVwUc07qcySlUPWvVcjeT1Z59zGTFF5aTymeRFU9h6kpb6y7XW4xSY0hfFfm7jZ_PQM-btdRDGOgzcMb9L5beqhffcu946uKt6e6xeTCufZ49NLX25qmaZ5c44ZHv/s2048/20210626_103319.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1302" data-original-width="2048" height="254" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRlvRypAhJKAt4KLGyVwUc07qcySlUPWvVcjeT1Z59zGTFF5aTymeRFU9h6kpb6y7XW4xSY0hfFfm7jZ_PQM-btdRDGOgzcMb9L5beqhffcu946uKt6e6xeTCufZ49NLX25qmaZ5c44ZHv/w400-h254/20210626_103319.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">image shows 4 cards from The Faeries Oracle (The Faery Godmother/The Singer of the Chalice/G.Hobyah/Laiste, Moon's Daughter). flourite, amethyst, and lapis lazuli for Neptune/Jupiter/Pluto; hematite for Saturn/Pluto; quartz and malachite for Neptune/Uranus; and Herkimer diamonds and garnet for Pluto. brooch, seashell, tiny Waterhouse mermaid, fairy sword, dried rosebuds, tiny feather, tiny gargoyle, swan feather.<br /></td></tr></tbody></table><br /><p style="text-align: left;"><br /></p><blockquote><p style="text-align: center;"><span class="_8Pl3R"><span>1. How can I be more aligned with my inner truth? <b>The Faery Godmother</b></span></span></p></blockquote><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTGJ7m95JVcqaSyochsKFup936rGAlMs689A3PWMCh18CJRkGCJ_SZcZ7G4RlflNLtCBp_PBNTlbajDt8j4OYzK9FbdvTEWHr0Se8RrF4d4Bg3_2iQ7gUkX80uWbkjLxJj_h1xleyppJs4/s400/trial31.png" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="400" data-original-width="240" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTGJ7m95JVcqaSyochsKFup936rGAlMs689A3PWMCh18CJRkGCJ_SZcZ7G4RlflNLtCBp_PBNTlbajDt8j4OYzK9FbdvTEWHr0Se8RrF4d4Bg3_2iQ7gUkX80uWbkjLxJj_h1xleyppJs4/s320/trial31.png" /></a></div><p></p><p style="text-align: center;"> </p><p style="text-align: center;"> </p><p style="text-align: center;"> </p><p style="text-align: center;">Sairie - The Faery Godmother - speaks of gifts, talents, grace, and helpful lessons. good things that we don't think we deserve, or haven't thought to ask for, may well be happening. she helps us open our hearts to love and acceptance. keep an eye out for unexpected good fortune when you thought bad luck was coming for you, and pass that kindness on. enjoy the feeling of doing good in secret. </p><p style="text-align: center;"><br /></p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><blockquote><p style="text-align: center;"><span class="_8Pl3R"><span>2. How can I be more open to what I’m not seeing? <b>The Singer of the Chalice</b></span></span></p></blockquote><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibzr926JUEbk8WmDKK84rKMjG3AC4kr7B8lUXJp14gtN29WBP98I5Lii1gwcoIjtBS9uV9KAdPIYoTknjQOmwRBHYfVEK72-FXVXb2N25T3HS-S8GfbEelxNd-OxWWrdOCixKWlJgkmyex/s400/97df6048ba76e1182a01accd3387fbe3.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="400" data-original-width="249" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibzr926JUEbk8WmDKK84rKMjG3AC4kr7B8lUXJp14gtN29WBP98I5Lii1gwcoIjtBS9uV9KAdPIYoTknjQOmwRBHYfVEK72-FXVXb2N25T3HS-S8GfbEelxNd-OxWWrdOCixKWlJgkmyex/s320/97df6048ba76e1182a01accd3387fbe3.jpg" /></a></div><br /><p style="text-align: center;"> </p><p style="text-align: center;"> </p><p style="text-align: center;">trust, joy, patience, creativity, hope, and miracles. the Singer of the Chalice is about being open to unconditional love, healing, and more, as one big feeling that flows through us from the Universe, and if we can open ourselves up to one of those energies, then we can open ourselves up to all of them. all we need to do is ask, so they know we're consciously ready to let them in. <br /></p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><blockquote><p style="text-align: center;"><span class="_8Pl3R"><span>3. What kind of deception or illusion is currently present? <b>G.Hobyah</b></span></span></p></blockquote><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJwvAE33sb9jFFtWlDf64vbI4XAisnrLKY2mXNMhRpaU-KJr_trC203JiY_O_uLvtz-Bz6DgG0Ix6Y-WN55xY3Oo1M2CmA3fbEuHxiVkXQzANgBZPTOZP8R2kUJ-v6vD0CRfXQakE5w4FX/s968/61-g-hobyah.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="968" data-original-width="584" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJwvAE33sb9jFFtWlDf64vbI4XAisnrLKY2mXNMhRpaU-KJr_trC203JiY_O_uLvtz-Bz6DgG0Ix6Y-WN55xY3Oo1M2CmA3fbEuHxiVkXQzANgBZPTOZP8R2kUJ-v6vD0CRfXQakE5w4FX/s320/61-g-hobyah.jpg" /></a></div> <p></p><p> </p><p> </p><p>imaginary fears, unreal hazards, realistic caution. to gain a greater ability to open our hearts the way the Singer of the
Chalice asks us, we need to look for the truth behind our fears. for the strength to face real challenges, we need to see them for what they truly are - and face them honestly - so we can distinguish between them, and what is a projection of our old traumas and fears onto our imaginary futures. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><blockquote><p><span class="_8Pl3R"><span>4. What step is needed to remove my rose-colored glasses? <b>Laiste, Moon's Daughter</b></span></span></p></blockquote><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheq6TxqpuMior1BDhrqikCJACy7FcK4FZS2mflPcahQAecUgAkPZHVRmzAYxNVVXM234v5TdahxQfsbxNo_OecrX4j_ykovC02HNLOIOgwYuKDY9H4DAvrtaGRKlGTBGUTUABLOwt4jSz1/s2048/img_1771.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1230" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheq6TxqpuMior1BDhrqikCJACy7FcK4FZS2mflPcahQAecUgAkPZHVRmzAYxNVVXM234v5TdahxQfsbxNo_OecrX4j_ykovC02HNLOIOgwYuKDY9H4DAvrtaGRKlGTBGUTUABLOwt4jSz1/s320/img_1771.jpg" /></a></div><br /><p> </p><p> </p><p>light cast in shadows, spiritual guidance, illumination, riddles. Laiste wants us to pay attention to the mystical, and she's not beyond putting an obstacle or pitfall in our path to wake us up to the multiverse. she is encouraging us to mine for subconscious treasure, the cosmic wisdom we don't even know we know, but...we know. step into the flow of those feelings and lean into trusting that process. the Moon's Daughter will leave symbols for us to read in our dreams.<br /></p><p><span class="_8Pl3R"><span> <br /></span></span></p><p><span class="_8Pl3R"><span> </span></span></p><p><span class="_8Pl3R"><span> </span></span></p><p><span class="_8Pl3R"><span> </span></span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span class="_8Pl3R"><span> <span style="font-family: georgia;"><i><span style="font-size: medium;">"If you lean into the work of self-reflection and find within you a profound willingness to feel the scary feels, the potential for coming out of this lunar cycle radically transformed in deep places in your consciousness is about as good as it gets...turn to whatever connects you most to the Divine during these few days for the comfort and courage that may be required of you at this time. And remember, there is </span></i></span></span></span><span style="font-family: georgia;"><i><span style="font-size: medium;">no wound that Spirit cannot heal." - <a href="https://michaellennox.com/">Michael Lennox</a></span></i></span><br /></p><p> </p><p>again, thank you for coming along, commenting, and sharing - this reading is
for anyone who wants/needs it! as always, I hope there's something in
here for you personally, and feel free to <a href="https://www.facebook.com/mysteriam.tarot.dreamwork">contact me for a private reading</a>. </p><p style="text-align: center;">💙💜💙</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>resources:</p><p><a href="https://astrologyanswers.com/article/how-to-prepare-for-neptune-retrograde/#google_vignette">Lexi Hikari for Astrology Answers</a></p><p><a href="https://www.instagram.com/moonandcactus/">moonandcactus</a></p><p><a href="https://astrologyking.com/neptune-retrograde/">Jamie Partridge - Astrology King</a><br /></p><p><a href="https://youtu.be/R2oscPjsaZM">Neptune music</a><br /></p>Mama Pajamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10278474039105398842noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2740055889978712690.post-43114738947773457532021-06-20T17:42:00.001-04:002021-06-20T17:42:36.328-04:00Solstice/Shabbat Community Tarot Reading<p>the whole reason I started making it a point to have Shabbat dinner on Friday nights was because it was an important and special family ritual that I grew up with that I wanted to continue with my own child, so he could have that same sense of connection and tradition, and a way to honor our cultural heritage. with him gone, I'm not entirely sure how to bring in Shabbat on my own. I can light the candles and say those prayers. I can say the rest of the prayers we say (the same ones my dad said) over the bread & wine, and take my sip, eat my pinch...but I'm not much in the mood for chicken soup, or a meal. </p><p><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEeoBI-ZPg5eBQNV33o1kWIna04cktv-0mcFNWsJrB2wI7RuNs7Y7mHNSoCRaf_JwKrko6IKMF11hSAc0yxICqmICzQzom1CwLN4AOY4VLQsVaFsWVznO87kVemQWcmh2eB-PsdDv4PtgM/s480/522713a7b59bc4de776dfbfb0c5f5c25.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="360" data-original-width="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEeoBI-ZPg5eBQNV33o1kWIna04cktv-0mcFNWsJrB2wI7RuNs7Y7mHNSoCRaf_JwKrko6IKMF11hSAc0yxICqmICzQzom1CwLN4AOY4VLQsVaFsWVznO87kVemQWcmh2eB-PsdDv4PtgM/s320/522713a7b59bc4de776dfbfb0c5f5c25.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><p></p><p><br /></p><p style="text-align: left;">my recent foray into embracing the sabbath has been meditating on, and pulling tarot cards for, a community reading, but my well is empty right now, and I have no overflow with which to serve others at the moment. I thought of either doing a one-card pull for myself, to find a place to focus my energy, or write out a ritual for the Solstice tomorrow. can I do both? let's find out... </p><p style="text-align: left;"> </p><p style="text-align: left;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwsMUUorznpb-nf1Ev6qQNLziuEUaaziIKhNvqvcIFZn4jRH5azppkELsJrxESa_gkCPlCnktn9mb-ecXMRKithAg7Mqop_TLzqbmvy2MK3AqqTXIdbsuVchNO6o8txAq8YrdcunT4EOg8/s249/qm.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="202" data-original-width="249" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwsMUUorznpb-nf1Ev6qQNLziuEUaaziIKhNvqvcIFZn4jRH5azppkELsJrxESa_gkCPlCnktn9mb-ecXMRKithAg7Mqop_TLzqbmvy2MK3AqqTXIdbsuVchNO6o8txAq8YrdcunT4EOg8/s0/qm.png" /></a></div><br /> <p></p><p style="text-align: left;">...turns out I can't. again, my well is currently empty, and everything is really hard and taking extra long for me right now. please be patient with my grieving process, as it interlaces with all the other stress I am/we are navigating during this intense astrological/planetary time.</p><p style="text-align: left;">I set up a lovely Solstice altar with candles, a chalice of water, quartz crystals, garnets, citrine, and amber. I put on the binaural beats, did my meditation, and pulled my cards. then I realized I had left 6 of the cards from that particular deck tucked in my tarot journal from the last reading I did. nice. so I put the cards away and tried to work on a ritual to share instead, but I was just too tired and foggy to write it all out, so I called it a night.</p><p style="text-align: left;"> </p><p style="text-align: left;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEje8_LvAKwBcxLBFpc3GQ8mShryOoCT9Wo4NDz99GpTmVJkjknDfU4xFTLMpLvybwhUy5p-lsdf2rttZpdiosHkfTUiXkEwMhl8sGDUTOrSidypggA4lxzGj6Oky9kujt2fyIWrjforlnAO/s474/th.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="355" data-original-width="474" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEje8_LvAKwBcxLBFpc3GQ8mShryOoCT9Wo4NDz99GpTmVJkjknDfU4xFTLMpLvybwhUy5p-lsdf2rttZpdiosHkfTUiXkEwMhl8sGDUTOrSidypggA4lxzGj6Oky9kujt2fyIWrjforlnAO/s320/th.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /> <p></p><p style="text-align: left;">today, this is my best: <br /></p><p style="text-align: left;"><u>ritual</u> - take a ritual bath. circle up outdoors, preferably around a fire pit. cast a circle, call in the quarters. honor Sun deities, the Divine Light, Yang energy...the root, sacral, and solar plexus chakras. sing, play, dance, drum, feast - Have Sex. gather and direct the energy raised towards a specific purpose. thank the quarters, open the circle, ground your energy. blessed be.<br /></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span> </span>colors - orange, yellow, white, gold</p><p style="text-align: left;"><span> </span>crystals - sunstone, serpentine, garnet, amber, citrine, carnelian</p><p style="text-align: left;"><span> </span>flowers - roses, marigolds, sunflowers, seasonal fruits & veggies<br /></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span> </span>incense - sandalwood, saffron, frankincense, laurel <br /></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span> </span>activities - make flower crowns, garden, perform sun salutations, charge crystals out in the sun, </p><p style="text-align: left;"><span> </span>pick berries, lay in the sunshine</p><p style="text-align: left;"> <br /></p><p style="text-align: left;"><u>reading</u> - </p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEip7Jd_Cmk2Tige3A_P_CCWUJ1zHnqFFuIhaDSK1FT3_knrz0IA60JQkacU9ZJk0kUT9IDqf1wp4ZLJDuiMS7dga1xr2_HG_L_0BhLxUHToNtngNDAz0ZmeVXdZoqbQfEpIx1rTly9PRA8C/s2048/20210620_143426+%25282%2529.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1324" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEip7Jd_Cmk2Tige3A_P_CCWUJ1zHnqFFuIhaDSK1FT3_knrz0IA60JQkacU9ZJk0kUT9IDqf1wp4ZLJDuiMS7dga1xr2_HG_L_0BhLxUHToNtngNDAz0ZmeVXdZoqbQfEpIx1rTly9PRA8C/w259-h400/20210620_143426+%25282%2529.jpg" width="259" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">image shows 6 cards from the Tarot of a Moon Garden deck, two garnets, and one citrine, on a pastel cloth with silver stripes.<br /></td></tr></tbody></table><p style="text-align: left;"><i> </i></p><p style="text-align: left;"><i>what is the sun illuminating for us?</i> <b>Temperance - </b>balance, moderation, harmony...peace, patience. the sun is shining a light on our inner calm and perspective, the ways we've learned not to get caught up in drama and adapt to the situations in our lives. being in touch with who we are brings contentment, while taking the time to re-evalute our priorities will bring us an even greater sense of purpose.<br /><b></b></p><p style="text-align: left;"><i>what energy are we currently radiating out to the Universe?</i> <b>The Tower - </b>destruction, upheaval, chaos. well, that's not a good look...though it could be! this card is about change in the most profound way. a Big change, happening Fast. throw out the old, and start building something new. this is unavoidable and scary, but usually brings us a truer foundation than what we were standing on before.<br /><b></b></p><p style="text-align: left;"><i>what do our souls need us to release to the sun? </i> <b>6 of Staffs - </b>victory, pride,<b> </b>celebrity<b>. </b>all hail the conquering hero, riding through the crowd with their head high, drinking in the cheers...we need to let that go. perhaps it's <i>not </i>the time to pat ourselves on the back for a job well done? or just put the brakes on the swelled head that can come with it? <b><br /></b></p><p style="text-align: left;"><i>how can we use the medicine of the sun for our growth?</i> <b>Ace of Pentacles </b>- prosperity, new beginnings. this new cycle is suggestive of material things, of a seed that needs to grow in the secure ground of our stability. nurturing this energy is abundantly rewarding, like watching our dreams become reality, and being ready for the challenge of realizing our potential.<br /><b></b></p><p style="text-align: left;"><i>what will manifest from our Solstice intentions over the next 3 months?</i> <b> 6 of Swords - </b>moving on, leaving something behind. in this card, we see a hardship overcome, and a move towards normalcy returning. we may not like what had to leave behind to get here, and feel defeated and tired from the challenges we've had to face and overcome, but we are healing, and possibly heading towards a stronger version of ourselves. we need to think rationally about the best ways to get there.<br /><b></b></p><p style="text-align: left;"><i>message from the sun?</i> <b>Wheel of Fortune </b>- changes, cycles, fate/destiny. no one can avoid their turns on the wheel. we must remember to enjoy the good while we have it, because everything can and does change in an instant, then changes again. while the process can be uncomfortable, that inevitability is the only thing we can rely on - the Universe will maintain it's own balance, and we're mostly just along for the ride.</p><p style="text-align: left;">well that's all pretty intense...but shining a light on our Temperance while we're caught up in Tower energy will certainly bring our consciousness into how we're being the 6 of Staffs, and that Ace of Pentacles brings some hope to the hardships of the 6 of
Swords as we all go for another turn on the Wheel of Fortune. the recent eclipses (lunar & solar) with so many planets in retrograde (four!) has been a wild ride, and while we're coming out of it, the astrology speaks to there being even more turmoil on the horizon. so stay sharp, keep focused, and have your eyes on the prize (whatever that may be for you).</p><p style="text-align: left;"> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0toJlSfkQHzzFEA5cEBDkBcC2eYTgfSlx1mLNETYiajDStFILzJ9lxRMKsyHEDBK41WATgODdahx2xKAXPeda4Zg98SyF_iVgNtoP6FnVi4k3iObe6JsSNUQzeniCfWtYd3Af-JgQJD-W/s295/index.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="171" data-original-width="295" height="232" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0toJlSfkQHzzFEA5cEBDkBcC2eYTgfSlx1mLNETYiajDStFILzJ9lxRMKsyHEDBK41WATgODdahx2xKAXPeda4Zg98SyF_iVgNtoP6FnVi4k3iObe6JsSNUQzeniCfWtYd3Af-JgQJD-W/w400-h232/index.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br /><p> thank you for coming along, commenting, and sharing - this reading is
for anyone who wants/needs it! as always, I hope there's something in
here for you, personally, and feel free to <a href="https://www.facebook.com/mysteriam.tarot.dreamwork">contact me for a private reading</a>. </p><p style="text-align: center;">💙💜💙</p><p style="text-align: left;"> </p>Mama Pajamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10278474039105398842noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2740055889978712690.post-76290741995748500482021-06-12T20:07:00.000-04:002021-06-12T20:07:33.893-04:00Shabbat Community Tarot Reading #4<p>wow, what a crazy week it's been for me - how about you? so much upheaval and emotional drama! even though we're 'through' the eclipse, we're still feeling its energy, and will be for a few days (weeks, months), and as we all know, the cosmic reverberations just keep circling out forever... </p><p>I'm not sure where to start this week, as the reading I did was very personal, and specific to my circumstances. I feel like if I'm going to read for the community, I can't pretend to be 'love and light' all the time, and like nothing ever goes wrong in my life because I'm claiming to offer to help people focus on doing their own deep work, so I have to show how I do mine. </p><p> <br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgT7_F6vH1vBF33PZOOvDe8uKfbEFe6u0q_pDtxexWu6fW5dn1iKvvmW2o5fP84ZsmfN0lBan2kB-M58rIaq5BW5YlhkuXvhNOOvw4BvO_SbhX4Dnuok6CEtsJbvqZtI0i3gqt1bey9q6pH/s592/bd419ca88fe79a4ee9f8239f99f793e3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="592" data-original-width="474" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgT7_F6vH1vBF33PZOOvDe8uKfbEFe6u0q_pDtxexWu6fW5dn1iKvvmW2o5fP84ZsmfN0lBan2kB-M58rIaq5BW5YlhkuXvhNOOvw4BvO_SbhX4Dnuok6CEtsJbvqZtI0i3gqt1bey9q6pH/s320/bd419ca88fe79a4ee9f8239f99f793e3.jpg" /></a></div><br /><p>so - let's just say my child needs their community now in the form of a strong support network to help them navigate away from their current situation into something healthier for them in the long run. the evil rage monster that lives in me has decided it's time for them to be free, rip off the band-aid, they're ready, I've done my job of preparing for this day well. why postpone the inevitable? they've embarked on their own underworld journey now, plumbing their own depths...the astrology would blow them away if they cared to look. it's not my job to tell anymore, it's my job to love and let go, now. but they don't want to leave, is the thing. they wants to make demands of me, threaten and lash out. they want all the benefits I've always provided - few though they may be - and to act indignantly while taking advantage and bringing so much conflict into our daily lives, I've been triggered back to my father throwing the kitchen table at me when I told him I was moving out (with a great deal more resources than my child has at the moment, though his daddy certainly had a lot less). </p><p>the running away started with the tenuous stirrings of what might become first love. now that there's 'someone else', I've become obsolete overnight, and have been shut out, and shut down. so the arguments have escalated to where we're both teetering on the edge of violence, neither of us wanting to cross that line, and for years now, I've been sending them outside to deal with those feelings to get them away from me - it's my house, I won't be disrespected - and get them moving to physically help cycle that energy through. so we argued, I told them to get out, and they demanded a therapist, so I called in mental health. they called in CPS. so now I'm under investigation for abuse, exacerbating an already intense housing crisis (impending homelessness), and did I mention my mom died two months ago? it's fine...I'm sure I deserve all that and more, don't I? but the bottom line in my opinion is that they've hit their wall - as have I - and it's time to figure out how to get them what they need from the support network they will build with the help of the authorities they've called in. we can't live like this anymore. it would have been nice to have the clarity to handle it on our own, but...oh well.<br /></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgNy8biMf2nJvDPsJyQueRLR5tVYAWx9t4c6t1vDjXZbmCwDNRVriDQyrWz7941MCYrGmQYdpfKggZvsEpHvUpd-Hcv-BFWGfrqB78J4k9BikE7-j7dIz5dJ5ySIcF6h82KurS-L0OZ-Sj/s264/240_F_352794556_3QKv2XzqTcFM8bWg9rpxZ6QKcnmGQ2wK.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="240" data-original-width="264" height="182" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgNy8biMf2nJvDPsJyQueRLR5tVYAWx9t4c6t1vDjXZbmCwDNRVriDQyrWz7941MCYrGmQYdpfKggZvsEpHvUpd-Hcv-BFWGfrqB78J4k9BikE7-j7dIz5dJ5ySIcF6h82KurS-L0OZ-Sj/w200-h182/240_F_352794556_3QKv2XzqTcFM8bWg9rpxZ6QKcnmGQ2wK.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p>yeah, it's time to get out of their way, and leave them to it. I caught a bit of a reading a day or two ago (I wish I could remember where!) that spoke to a wisdom coming in from the side, somehow...that it was important to pay attention to snippets that may come from random sources, and that was the kid yesterday - three times in the midst of the chaos they spoke honest truth, though I doubt they recognized the importance of what they said. and between my own shadow work, <a href="https://www.facebook.com/astrolojew/photos/a.176026612596852/1664988520367313">Lorelai Kude's</a> talk of overwhelm, and protecting what you've mothered, and <a href="https://www.facebook.com/thevertexastrology/photos/a.107529904425883/307610011084537">Sasha's</a> speaking of needing to let go of <i>something</i> <b>anything</b>, and 'where do we go from here' energy aligning with true direction and drastic change that has been a long time coming...I'm hearing this message loud and clear. as hard as it is to focus through all the emotional turmoil, miscommunication, power struggles/control issues, change/liberation/chaos cycles, I'm doing my best to simply survive each day, which in the moment mostly looks like me trying to drink enough water, and failing, repeatedly. </p><p>so some cards for me. some wisdom on how to step out of this dance. help the kid get what they need to move forward and move along. there's no coming back...things are irrevocably different and damaged now, so it's time to change course, and let life flow on by without me. for this reading I used my oldest deck, and <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/CP8gYhmHSXF/">this spread</a> Meg <a href="https://www.instagram.com/3am.tarot/">@3am.tarot</a> posted for the New Moon & Solar Eclipse in Gemini (June 10). here's what we got:</p><p> </p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbuNbOs71dIp-vdoUX-8YLmKq0inRzj0SlcsbxP_r9EJWiKUJ7BrcCeBPgXD4QWOF5PSZngX8VLblnssxiKW8GWl7GaPSBGItBSvXreL_eNsLhsVVTv0fciuR9pGNUrpIKB1hc3qcZ7oMf/s2048/20210612_125704.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1229" data-original-width="2048" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbuNbOs71dIp-vdoUX-8YLmKq0inRzj0SlcsbxP_r9EJWiKUJ7BrcCeBPgXD4QWOF5PSZngX8VLblnssxiKW8GWl7GaPSBGItBSvXreL_eNsLhsVVTv0fciuR9pGNUrpIKB1hc3qcZ7oMf/w400-h240/20210612_125704.jpeg" width="400" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">image shows an antler, a crystal ball, a small metal goddess figurine, three cards from The Tarot of the Witches tarot deck (The Lovers/The Magician/The Chariot), a quartz crystal, and a garnet on a pastel colored cloth with silver stripes.<br /></td></tr></tbody></table><p> </p><p><u>reflect on</u>: <b>The Lovers</b> - one rose reaching towards the sun, while a briar entangles the moon. such a strange card...look at the two of them, dispassionate mannequins entangled in her weird hair, that half dead-or-alive hill they're standing on. a meaningful relationship...aside from all the love, beauty, harmony, deep feeling, trust, honor, physical attraction, there's the dynamic of sacred vs. profane, and a testing of theories. an expansion - taking what we've learned, and re-centering from a new vantage point in a spiral progression. widening the heart. coming out of isolation into exchange - an act of radical vulnerability; a moment of truth.<br /></p><p><u>revisit & explore</u>: <b>The Magician</b> - creative Source. imagination, self-reliance, skill, willpower, curiosity, cleverness, unity in thought and feeling. deeply connected to, and aware of, the resources surrounding us as well as the magic within them. an expanding sense of possibility, the first step in a journey - packing The Fool's satchel. confidence, awake to possibility, throwing open the doors. expansion, opportunity, courage, tapping into potential. knowing we are the magic.<br /></p><p><u>seek truth within</u>: <b>The Chariot</b> - as soon as that expansion happened in the The Lovers card, the fool on their journey recognized their power, and met adversity with resolve and determination. alert and ready for battle - horses charging forward, his foot on the yoke, he's prepared to balance his mental and physical strength in working towards greatness, as soon as he can get his emotions under control.</p><p>there is great significance to me in these cards, considering where my teen is currently holed up, and with cards 6 & 7 - The Lovers and The
Chariot - showing up together like that, with only the Magician's spark between them.
there's that pattern of being pushed into things too early, before they're ready,
because I'm already holding more than I can safely handle, and
something's got to give. this is my child, born three weeks early. this is my child sliding down
my leg because they won't hold on, they simply trust that 'I've got
them'. this is my child selling off their trains to pay the car
insurance that one time. this is my child's path to freedom - their first steps
out on their own. I'm not going to read their birth chart, or check
their horoscope or anything because they
didn't ask me to, and I respect people's privacy...but I can see what I
see, you
know? all that trauma I tried so hard to avoid passing on, that I made sure to pass on. our ancestors' hard-won aspirations now crushed beneath my personal failures, and it hurts to live here.</p><p> </p><p>thank you for coming along, commenting, and sharing - this reading is
for anyone who wants/needs it! as always, I hope there's something in
here for you, personally, and feel free to <a href="https://www.facebook.com/mysteriam.tarot.dreamwork">contact me for a private reading</a>. </p><p style="text-align: center;">💙💜💙</p><p> </p><p>resources:<br /></p><p><span><a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/CP8gYhmHSXF/?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet">3am.tarot</a><br /></span></p><p><a href="https://youtu.be/COMwjWOFuWY"><span>good vibes binaural beats</span></a></p>Mama Pajamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10278474039105398842noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2740055889978712690.post-37720518023702840152021-06-06T13:09:00.001-04:002021-06-06T13:09:59.720-04:00Shabbat Community Tarot Reading #3<p style="text-align: center;"><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQPbFlNF2bFRRxHmNt6pc0rUgeKEzXi_SHUT23hJS8UryZWoeOrWdKvADJJc9b5IeYpCV6pimvl6geli2r_1e4riJupOpnLhJ13tljmqQ__JCc1hv5Y6MOGSjy2mCfHYZey55p1rZi5H_E/s2048/20210605_100803.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1229" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQPbFlNF2bFRRxHmNt6pc0rUgeKEzXi_SHUT23hJS8UryZWoeOrWdKvADJJc9b5IeYpCV6pimvl6geli2r_1e4riJupOpnLhJ13tljmqQ__JCc1hv5Y6MOGSjy2mCfHYZey55p1rZi5H_E/w240-h400/20210605_100803.jpeg" width="240" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">bur oak<br /></td></tr></tbody></table><br /></p><p>hello my darlings - I'm enjoying doing these community readings, and I hope you are getting something out of them too. this week, I didn't feel called to ask any specific questions, I just wanted to clear my mind, shuffle, and see what the cards themselves had to offer. the deck asking to be utilized for the task was the Celtic Tree Oracle - interesting because they're not really cards I use, but cards I keep because they were a gift from a dear friend, and many years ago, a deck belonging to a different dear friend gave me some profound insights into my life at that time. while there isn't a Celtic bone in my body (though there could be a past life...), I deeply respect the traditions of others, and love the natural connection these cards invite us into through the trees. as it happened, I had the opportunity to do this reading outdoors, so I sat down under a bur oak, and enjoyed the scent of wild rose in the air while paying attention to the details in the images. though there is a particular system which one is supposed to employ for their use, I know these cards well enough to know that they don't mind my freestyling. so - let's see what wisdom they have to offer us:</p><p> </p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQztI3XAHKHH-5nDE1bM4DHjI9sHO6TZUuJp-ahOhjdcmXe9SB24JYOYQd_JCcepScaMT1UXMyRLp5e_7v8NxykTo_vuEnuz07vWIvJ_OgbX129-nShbSCho2Vt72gujKQgFhIvame7zkf/s2048/20210605_095053.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1229" data-original-width="2048" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQztI3XAHKHH-5nDE1bM4DHjI9sHO6TZUuJp-ahOhjdcmXe9SB24JYOYQd_JCcepScaMT1UXMyRLp5e_7v8NxykTo_vuEnuz07vWIvJ_OgbX129-nShbSCho2Vt72gujKQgFhIvame7zkf/w400-h240/20210605_095053.jpeg" width="400" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">image shows three cards from The Celtic Tree Oracle deck on a pastel colored cloth with silver stripes. on the left we have 'Quert' (apple), in the center 'Muin' (vine), and on the right Ioho (yew). each card has the corresponding Ogham lettering in the border on each side of the center tree image, a detail below, and intricate knotwork designs all around.<br /></td></tr></tbody></table><p><br /><br />Quert - Apple: ah, the apple! one of the oldest known cultivated fruits, it is associated with choice, possibly between similarly attractive options, though the options may matter less than the fact of a choice needing to be made. in Arthurian legend, apples are connected to Merlin and <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Avalon">Avalon</a> - a secret mystical island where the uninitiated must not eat of the fruit, for it contains the Pythagorean pentagram (the seeds in the shape of a star, possibly symbolizing divine wisdom). it was both where Excalibur was forged, and where Arthur was laid to rest, and said to come back from someday. I always think of the Greek goddess Eris in connection to apples, and the chaos she instigated with her <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apple_of_Discord">golden apple </a>for 'the prettiest one' that started the Trojan War, as well as the Garden of the Hesperides where that golden apple was grown.<br /></p><blockquote><p><span style="font-size: small;">from "How Merlin Dwelt Among His Druids in a Secret Orchard in Celyddon, in the Emperor Arthur's Time"</span></p></blockquote><blockquote style="margin-left: 40px;"><p style="text-align: left;"> <i>Seven-core and seven most fruitful Appletrees<br /></i></p></blockquote><blockquote><p><i> E'en since the very dawn of the age, there</i></p></blockquote><blockquote><p><i> Had made spring murmurous with bright small bees<br /></i></p></blockquote><blockquote style="margin-left: 40px;"><p style="text-align: left;"><i> Crooning their tune i' the white bloom-laden air:<br /></i></p></blockquote><blockquote style="margin-left: 40px;"><p style="text-align: left;"><i> And 'neath the flaunting skies of midsummer <br /></i></p></blockquote><blockquote><p><i> Had swayed green plumy jewel-luminous seas: </i></p></blockquote><p> see also <a href="https://contemplativeinquiry.blog/2015/02/13/poem-avallennau-myrddin-merlins-apple-trees/">Poem: Avallennau Myrddin (Merlin's Apple Trees) over at Contemplative Inquiry</a></p><p><br /></p><p>Muin - Vine: this card is associated with Lughnassadh/Lammas, the August 1st Celtic beginning-of-harvest-season festival dedicated to the Sun. grape vines - in the context of wine - speaks to the release of prophetic powers, letting go of logic and intellect, and letting intuition lead. permitting instinct to show you what needs doing, allowing emotion to flow freely, and openly trusting your senses to act for you. be open to noticing all the signs and omens. *at this point in my meditation of the cards I kept noticing a heavenly scent of flowers which I couldn't identify, but oh, it made me look! on my way out of the park I found the source - these wild roses in the image posted below. intoxicating! I used to work at an <a href="https://theunusedportion.blogspot.com/search/label/orchards">apple orchard</a>, and one of the many things I learned from old Mr. Soons was that roses are in the same family as apples, as are peaches, pears, plums, strawberries and cherries. also, there's a theory that the golden apples in the <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hesperides">Garden of the Hesperides</a> - the "nymphs of the evening" - may really have been oranges! (signs & omens)<br /></p><p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIF-7uKnlKsTNLokGi-w_lNqv0yWaZj0ZrwvF4hi179mtof7LUTiZZcL3_z_u1D8up1iiwxcu2yRzDOk3r0rQZegBWVrlyHBZWul4rxTFax0M1r6edu_Kis1SU1Cwlppgb0nIHLkRf7rk1/s2048/20210605_113212.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8ECU1ihiTDpEYkzlSSJlUBLGxL3Fes7XliyNBS1I4G5BzWGdB_xgrDH_b8eBslrlSL627PNDVOc1qGHo1w260iJymxq_NaiX0m0W3glm3jwAL8lLNvw3xmDgRM3tqeX_yi6UrUSmIlDD7/s2048/20210605_113212.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1229" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8ECU1ihiTDpEYkzlSSJlUBLGxL3Fes7XliyNBS1I4G5BzWGdB_xgrDH_b8eBslrlSL627PNDVOc1qGHo1w260iJymxq_NaiX0m0W3glm3jwAL8lLNvw3xmDgRM3tqeX_yi6UrUSmIlDD7/w240-h400/20210605_113212.jpeg" width="240" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">wild roses!<br /></td></tr></tbody></table><br /> <br /></a></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglU4VeygV3AdxQ8W6JXf3ITjXeMg898D9_uMM3ymaDiWMvk0LsqyRAuM0IWYRxc3SC0y0AMy7fAZWLfeF0C9goYune88ehJeEQrmB_t1YgvFN4-DgNV15saHc3fxjJT1SENFyVwfCPNURt/s2048/20210605_113119.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1229" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglU4VeygV3AdxQ8W6JXf3ITjXeMg898D9_uMM3ymaDiWMvk0LsqyRAuM0IWYRxc3SC0y0AMy7fAZWLfeF0C9goYune88ehJeEQrmB_t1YgvFN4-DgNV15saHc3fxjJT1SENFyVwfCPNURt/w240-h400/20210605_113119.jpeg" width="240" /></a></div><p><br /></p><p>Ioho - Yew: several of the <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_oldest_trees">oldest trees on Earth</a> are yews, and as such, are deeply sacred. their branches grow down into the ground to form new stems and trunks, and when the old trunk dies, new ones grow from it, giving this tree the meaning of rebirth and reincarnation. a new soul sprung from ancient roots in a new body. that the <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Llangernyw_Yew">eldest</a> of the <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fortingall_Yew">oldest yew trees</a> (age estimates vary between 2000 to 9000 years old) stand in churchyards shows they were previously sites of ancient Bardic/Druidic groves; interestingly enough, in 2015, <a href="https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-scotland-tayside-central-34700033">one of these appeared to have changed sex</a> (the ongoing reemergence of goddess energy in the collective consciousness?)! the longbows the Celts were known for their skill with were carved from yew, and while the needles were historically used to brew poison, it can be used homeopathically as well. this card is direct contact with your past, spiritual strength renewed, a revivification - understanding through wisdom that was always there, which we may have forgotten, or ignored. things that were, are, always will be ~ </p><p><br /></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBDs9phyHadVGCZ6qJR7KvnazJzD0pntsYXRZD83Rz5MmdCh1PD3rYak-CUoND9-haYKL76ul6TwVpd8OPFMJ3GgAG01AN3cY5tJ-6cCFx1OKsKofbr5fCdAUF1NhGTJHcO99BaFynVK8q/s2048/20210605_101836.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1228" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBDs9phyHadVGCZ6qJR7KvnazJzD0pntsYXRZD83Rz5MmdCh1PD3rYak-CUoND9-haYKL76ul6TwVpd8OPFMJ3GgAG01AN3cY5tJ-6cCFx1OKsKofbr5fCdAUF1NhGTJHcO99BaFynVK8q/s320/20210605_101836.jpeg" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Ioho (Yew) card detail with intricate boarder knotwork, Ogham letter, center image of tree, and inset detail of trunk, needles, and berries, in muted colors.<br /></td></tr></tbody></table><p></p><p>look for an upcoming choice, which when paying attention to signs omens, calls for the possibility of a new life growing from the old one. dive deep into the well of your own understanding, and trust what you find there!<br /></p><p>thank you for coming along, commenting, and sharing - this reading is
for anyone who wants/needs it! as always, I hope there's something in
here for you, personally, and feel free to <a href="https://www.facebook.com/mysteriam.tarot.dreamwork">contact me for a private reading</a>. </p><div style="text-align: center;">💙💜💙</div><p><br /></p><p><u>resources</u>: </p><p><a href="https://celticearthspirit.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/The-Apple-Trees.pdf"><b>Avellenau (Appletrees)</b> <i>The Black Book of Carmarthen, XVII</i></a></p><p><a href="https://books.google.com/books?id=PsmaIFTdlFwC&pg=PA428&lpg=PA428&dq=Merlin%27s+secret+orchard&source=bl&ots=M3ldW71jTl&sig=ACfU3U0saTkwUc2cOaPKYVUXODMWr7RYgg&hl=en&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjU5-7u_oLxAhURF1kFHThuC88Q6AEwE3oECBMQAw#v=onepage&q=Merlin's%20secret%20orchard&f=false"><i>The Theosophical Path, Volume 15</i> edited by Katherine Augusta Westcott Tingley</a> </p><p> <a href="https://treesforlife.org.uk/into-the-forest/trees-plants-animals/trees/yew/">Mythology and Folklore of Yew from <i>Trees For Life</i></a><br /></p><p> <a href="https://www.thehazeltree.co.uk/2014/10/26/the-darkness-of-the-yew/">The Darkness of the Yew</a><a href="https://www.thehazeltree.co.uk/2014/10/26/the-darkness-of-the-yew/"> from <i>The Hazel Tree </i></a><br /></p>Mama Pajamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10278474039105398842noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2740055889978712690.post-45164886506265149992021-05-29T22:18:00.001-04:002021-05-29T22:29:20.779-04:00Shabbat Community Tarot Reading #2<p>whew! the energy has been really emotional, chaotic, and electric with the full blood supermoon eclipse leading into the Mercury retrograde we're currently experiencing, so I thought I'd take some time this week to address shadow work - what it is, and why it's important (the abridged version). shadow work is (very basically) working with the parts of yourself that you don't identify with, or aren't fully conscious of. your 'dark side', if you will...some say it includes not only one's personal shadow, but society's neglected and repressed values as well. whatever you refuse to acknowledge about yourself, qualities you're ashamed of, impulses you deny but see clearly in others, takes courage and strength to confront and accept. this is shadow work, and is a continuous process to engage in throughout life.</p><p>eclipse season tends to bring change and upheaval - all the ugly stuff (fear, old wounds, painful memories) comes up for us to reflect on, and release what no longer serves us with gentle kindness. and Mercury retrograde, which generally gets a bad rap for screwing up communications in all forms, electronics, business deals, and more, adds to the cosmic flux. mistakes will be made. double and triple check Everything, and back up your data! make copies. make sure your email/fax/message was received. be extra clear. because Mercury is retrograde in an air sign (Gemini), assume a great deal of discussion will need take place. on the other hand, it's a great time to work with the past, and words that start with 're' - reassess, revisit, readdress, redo, redesign, repair, redirect, and repeat. so while the energy may be frustrating, it's highly useful, and reminds us to slow down, consider where we stand, and take a closer, deeper look at our plans. it seems we find more time to get things done, too, so maybe work on getting your files and closets reorganized!</p><p>with all that in mind, I decided to ask "what neglected and repressed values should we be working to address as a collective?" we all know the obvious answers - poverty, racism, erasure, climate change, and more, but I'm curious to see what the cards bring up. from there, I thought I'd ask simply "are we making progress in a direction that will do the most good for the most people?" which led to the third question, "what is no longer serving us that needs to be released?" this sort of feels like a repeat of the first question, because while we definitely need to be letting go of all those negative aspects of our current experience, I was once again curious what the cards would bring up. here's what we got:</p><p><br /></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYCA10f1wzbnXFBuQkle0DtwYEn18gZHpj19hn1Ux8USdFdDzBC3PwnkTRqjO7nsoOJDbRtroC1cWEG10Iw1tz3K_BR4Abeaw0IrDUKuNqwq7Qv5oqaNdaJ4dNEJ5uGxCf4bi5aLSf0Via/s2048/20210529_193140.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1183" data-original-width="2048" height="231" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYCA10f1wzbnXFBuQkle0DtwYEn18gZHpj19hn1Ux8USdFdDzBC3PwnkTRqjO7nsoOJDbRtroC1cWEG10Iw1tz3K_BR4Abeaw0IrDUKuNqwq7Qv5oqaNdaJ4dNEJ5uGxCf4bi5aLSf0Via/w400-h231/20210529_193140.jpeg" width="400" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">image contains three cards from The Living Altar Oracle and Spell Deck: Generosity, Choice, Emergence. also quartz crystals, seeds, acorns, a seashell, a geode, and a salt crystal.<br /></td></tr></tbody></table><br /><p>"<u>what neglected and repressed values should we be working to address as a collective</u>?" - <b>Generosity</b> - this card is water, and comes to us from the West; from sunset and midlife; it is Autumn, an ancestor, council and initiation. it is speaking to us of power cultivated through wisdom, an openness, freedom to enjoy the dance of the seasons...community, reflection, the nurturing of fruit to seed. the message here is to pay attention to both our hard-earned lessons, and our curiosity. I'm reading it as a reconnection - to ourselves, to our chosen families, to our communities...recommitting to the success of the larger collective rather than to individual desires. that we should lean in to the tempered wisdom of our elders, while learning from the wide-eyed wonder of our children. </p><p>"<u>are we making progress in a direction that will do the most good for the most people</u>?" - <b>Choice </b>- this card is air, and comes to us from the East; from sunrise and childhood; it is Spring, a promise, emergence, and rebirth. it is speaking to us of presence, divine intervention, a path laid out before us like an invitation. do we accept its offer, or turn away? we are wild and meant to fly, hopeful, and show others that they can, too. the message here is to pay attention to the wisdom we gain on our adventures. I'm reading it as a relearning of how to lead - a new way of spreading our wings, influenced by our collective need for higher goals and purpose...seeing a better way forward, and embarking upon it with intention. </p><p>"<u>what is no longer serving us that needs to be released</u>?" - <b>Emergence</b> - this card is air, and comes to us from the East; from sunrise and rebirth; it is Spring, creativity, inspiration, and intention. it is speaking to us of the grace of innocence, wholeness, and an abundance of potential. of being open, sure, and calling back our power with a renewed sense of wonder, purpose, and hope. the message here is to gather up our knowledge of death and endings, and challenge ourselves to begin again, embracing and anticipating with excitement the wonder of the unknown. I'm reading it as an indication that we need to give up any fear we have around reimagining our systems, and outdated ways of thinking and being, so that we may fully emerge into the next stage of who we can come to be...by trusting and knowing that we have learned all our lessons from our past, and by accessing our potential to make better choices for our future. </p><p>thank you for coming along, commenting, and sharing - this reading is
for anyone who wants/needs it! as always, I hope there's something in
here for you, personally, and feel free to <a href="https://www.facebook.com/mysteriam.tarot.dreamwork">contact me for a private reading</a>. </p><p style="text-align: center;">💙💜💙</p><p> </p><p>sources:</p><p>https://www.astrologyzone.com/everything-you-need-to-know-about-mercury-retrograde/</p><p>https://foreverconscious.com/intuitive-astrology-forecast-june-2021</p><p></p>Mama Pajamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10278474039105398842noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2740055889978712690.post-58468593244935223762021-05-22T12:56:00.000-04:002021-05-22T12:56:08.766-04:00Shabbat Community Tarot Reading<p>Shabbat Shalom, all! this week, while lighting my candles and sending out my prayers, there was a lot on my mind. as the mother of a teenager, I know a few other mothers of teenagers, and it seems a lot of us are stressed to the max. that's probably because our kids are stressed to the max, given the collective trauma we've all been living through, and even though my relative American poverty pandemic experience might look like paradise on a popsicle stick to someone in India right now, we've all had about enough of isolation and disconnect to last us a good while. so I thought I'd do a reading for the kids, and by extension, for all the struggling moms (parents).</p><p>I didn't want to ask "how do we best support our children" because the answer to that is always "love them" (I mean, love is the answer to everything, right?). so I asked "how can we best help our children learn to support themselves?" and then for us, the moms, why ask what we need to survive, thrive, and lift up our families because the answer to that is also always "love" (and a robot slave). so I asked "how can we best refill our wells right now as both caregivers, and bodies needing care?" and finally, to tie the reading together (the way a rug can really tie a room together, lol), "how can we ensure we're doing our best to protect our Earthly legacy for the generations?" here's what we got:</p><p><br /></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCBqC0HJhX2Sft2ugyboJruDYlKtZmtGp3lmCZi5fWTo39rf8C2cmgzs25TpVVSaU5gla1mSTHf0vVuYNiMZwygOBxJn7rrIi0Y2jFxv7cBXJBK6mJDUUNFWMUhZKKSLoWPDM9f43lMZox/s1975/20210521_210402+%25282%2529.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1494" data-original-width="1975" height="303" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCBqC0HJhX2Sft2ugyboJruDYlKtZmtGp3lmCZi5fWTo39rf8C2cmgzs25TpVVSaU5gla1mSTHf0vVuYNiMZwygOBxJn7rrIi0Y2jFxv7cBXJBK6mJDUUNFWMUhZKKSLoWPDM9f43lMZox/w400-h303/20210521_210402+%25282%2529.jpeg" width="400" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">image shows three tarot cards - The Emperor reversed, The Hermit, 7 of Cups reversed - surrounded by a small metal goddess figure, quartz crystals, polished rose quartz, garnets, magnolia & wisteria seeds, a bear tooth, a large white feather, and a small red and green feather, on a light colored iridescent scarf with fringes, and a dark fuzzy blanket.<br /></td></tr></tbody></table><br /><p><br /></p><p>"<u>how can we best help our children learn to support themselves</u>?" - <b>The Emperor</b> reversed - well <i>that </i>message is pretty clear...Smash The Patriarchy! The Emperor is a powerful leader representing authority and structure, who is focused and disciplined. he's all about setting those firm foundations and boundaries, and standing in our power, but here he's in the reversed position, which speaks to an abuse of those powers...a sure sign that his rules and systems are no longer working. a loss of focus in a bid to keep his tenuous control finds him failing those he swore to protect. so the best way to help our children learn to support themselves could be through leaning into their creativity, teaching them to speak up and out when overreaching community leaders/teachers/parents/authority figures/clergy attempt to silence them, let them feel ALL their feelings (boys especially) and then rewrite the rules. it's their world, now, and they have to live with the messes we leave them, so we should probably just get in the back, learn to trust their wisdom, and let them invent it all anew.</p><p>"<u>how can we best refill our wells right now as both caregivers, and bodies needing care</u>?" - <b>The Hermit - </b>I guess we all need some alone time, huh? a cave to run off to where we can ponder the deeper mystery of ourselves, and plum the shadowed depths of our souls? I know I've surely been doing this...have you found yourselves retreating from the world a bit to clean up your own head lately? and doing your best to give those around you space, too? it seems weird that in an almost-post-pandemic world, what we might feel a need for is <i>more </i>space, but I think it's a different <i>kind</i> of space. space to do work in, to look at our actions and reflect on who we are and what we do; how we interact in the world, and in what ways we connect to our higher purpose. it's a place of contemplation and meditation, self-reflection and solitude.<br /></p><p>"<u>how can we ensure we're doing our best to protect our Earthly legacy for the generations</u>?" - <b>7 of Cups</b> reversed - this indicates coming back into focus after a period of confusion, or feeling hemmed in by a lack of options. in the context of the question, I read this as we humans realizing we're at a point of no return with our environment/planet, and making some sound choices to change our behaviors to address those pressing issues rather quickly, out of necessity. I wonder if many of those solutions will come from the minds and hands of those teenagers we'll be handing the reins to, after our period of retreat and self-reflection? maybe they'll learn to integrate their various energies in ways that will help them work together, share intelligences, and build more collaborative and sustainable futures? isn't that always the hope? well, it's mine anyway, and maybe some of yours, too.</p><p>thank you for coming along, commenting, and sharing - this reading is for anyone who wants/needs it! as always, I hope there's something in here for you, personally, and feel free to <a href="https://www.facebook.com/mysteriam.tarot.dreamwork">contact me for a private reading</a>. </p><p style="text-align: center;">💙💜💙<br /></p>Mama Pajamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10278474039105398842noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2740055889978712690.post-90223528271752063852021-05-09T14:52:00.015-04:002021-05-10T22:59:49.045-04:00Mom-eries<p style="text-align: center;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihle7TwfLYIRsBATCJ0mOoqfIUDtCMEbBGHLqvpkvm4g9Y9ToRp7NBClja6Ex92y8F9uGLykvEvb4ppM2s-St_Fgqu1yxsAfuJDL16CsTNIsxSquURAxOUHEhcBS-_QectkhjmVdXIT77Q/s2048/20210328_140637.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1229" data-original-width="2048" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihle7TwfLYIRsBATCJ0mOoqfIUDtCMEbBGHLqvpkvm4g9Y9ToRp7NBClja6Ex92y8F9uGLykvEvb4ppM2s-St_Fgqu1yxsAfuJDL16CsTNIsxSquURAxOUHEhcBS-_QectkhjmVdXIT77Q/s320/20210328_140637.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p>sometime after I turned 12, while rummaging around in my mom's little makeshift library in our large, well-lit basement, I came across a story she had written in the late 60's as a pregnant newlywed living on a kibbutz in Israel, while my dad was off fighting in the Six-Day War. I think of her, painting the light-bulbs black and leaving only a small spot for the light to filter through, to conceal themselves as best they could, as some of the fighting was quite near the kibbutz. how she must have looked, the anxiety she must have been feeling, and the hope she must have been trying to hold on to through those words. I wish I had a copy of the story called "Sarah" where she began by recalled the story of the Biblical Sarah, watching her Abraham take her only beloved son Isaac to be sacrificed on the altar of this 'new god' he was communing with, and questioning what kind of god he was to demand such a travesty as tribute. then there was a page break after which she wrote, "I am Sarah..." (it was her Hebrew name) and wrote about how so many of the women felt, watching their men go off to battle, wondering if they'd come back, and if they did, if they would come back 'whole'. the story switched back to the Biblical Sarah's perspective - an anxious mother watching for her husband to return from the mountain alone, her heart deeply wounded, only to see two silhouettes on the horizon, and running to them filled with the highest joy and gratitude. to conclude, she wrote about reading over the lists of names of the deceased, and her relief at not finding her husband there (though many other women did, and I don't wish to diminish the memory of those that we mourned), along with her elation when my father returned to her, safe and sound. <br /></p><p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQ6Ujhy31I7-qDcw0osVcJm3C-N-444STtHigMGSpLOzUdDUWsGzQE8Tcy7qCzjjTxLUffjFUPW1WfH4NCA0NL3TP8TA66uqkW3Inxnr8LG8wD7peW8q-Vxq5LdtWwfAdG8mw17q2wIgaO/s2048/20210328_141042.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1229" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQ6Ujhy31I7-qDcw0osVcJm3C-N-444STtHigMGSpLOzUdDUWsGzQE8Tcy7qCzjjTxLUffjFUPW1WfH4NCA0NL3TP8TA66uqkW3Inxnr8LG8wD7peW8q-Vxq5LdtWwfAdG8mw17q2wIgaO/s320/20210328_141042.jpg" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p>today is that dreaded stupid holiday I know I've written about on here before, though I couldn't find any of those posts in a quick search. as a single mom, Mother's Day is just another day for me to do all the mom things, and get little to no appreciation for my efforts. when my Teen was little, I'd get some cute paper projects that his teacher made all the kids do in school, and there was that one year when he drew me breakfast in bed - so cute! there might have even been some cheap gifts that the wealthy school district donated for the poor kids to bring home, but that might have just been for Hannukah, I don't remember. either way, my point is, today is a day for me to stay off of social media because seeing all the 'proper' families doing all the culturally acceptable things for the moms in their lives makes me feel inadequate on a good day, which is to say nothing of how it makes me feel on a day like today, when I'm missing my own mom, who passed away 6 weeks ago. my day so far has consisted of the horrid odor of the septic tank being pumped, followed by the horrible smell of the bleach I used to clean the backed-up excrement out of my bathtub - though I am grateful that there's no longer human waste bubbling up from the drain, and that my toilet is once again flushing properly. then I sat down to honor my mom by writing about her, and began to cry. just now, my Teen woke up and emerged from his bedroom, mumbled 'good morning', made himself a bowl of cereal, and went back into his room to commence the day's video gaming. yup. that's it. stuff <i>that </i>in your Mother's Day pipe and smoke it, because I have laundry to do, dishes to wash, paperwork to sort and file, etc, etc...no brunch and mani/pedi's here. no champagne or flowers, massages, chocolates, what-have-you.</p><p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7jxNv1M-hhnGa2Y9-a6fPxEUoM3DNcBNNpCDC-jWrFIBrOEXS4r0UyDPtN-QGBP_Ze5PwrXXy3cGQHUsuf5jVbDYWDOFNOfNCG8vcHWltlUgI41U33FDbA60S_IBWqe77TJlpqs7XPSKd/s720/There%2525u2019s-nothing-stronger.jpg.webp" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="720" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7jxNv1M-hhnGa2Y9-a6fPxEUoM3DNcBNNpCDC-jWrFIBrOEXS4r0UyDPtN-QGBP_Ze5PwrXXy3cGQHUsuf5jVbDYWDOFNOfNCG8vcHWltlUgI41U33FDbA60S_IBWqe77TJlpqs7XPSKd/s320/There%2525u2019s-nothing-stronger.jpg.webp" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p>but the point here was to talk about my mom. she was the ideal mother up until I hit puberty, and things went downhill for us from there. even though we had a rocky relationship, she was my mom, and I always loved her, even when I hated her. she drove 4 1/2 hours to the hospital in February - even though she hated Winter, and I lived in Vermont - when I went into labor, because she desperately wanted to see her youngest grandchild being born (she wasn't allowed in the room for my sister-in-law's three births, which I understand from my sister-in-law's point of view, though I can also understand my mom's disappointment). she <i><b>adored </b></i>my son from the get-go (as she did all her grandchildren), even though she couldn't restrain herself from making some pointed comments about...ahem, the other half of his dna...when he was very little, which I immediately nipped in the bud. we spent years on the outs, with a few good times here and there, but all in all, now that she's gone, those bad times hardly matter at all, and I just wish we had had more time to be friends, and keep making the good memories. she spent two weeks with me before she passed, and I'm SO grateful we had that time together, for myriad reasons. her death was unexpected, to say the least...and the hurdles that needed to be cleared in order to lay her to rest on our kibbutz in Israel, next to her beloved husband, during a global pandemic, were many - but it did happen. </p><p> </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBXre8imQTXVbgAEnOVps5ePk3fMnm3SY1dRd2YlJrQ9yPr8A5Z6YuKRnwNyj95Y7GHkQd1xzMkfHF4Avxa-3hjOm0yJcFS4aov0xzYlTq7vNeGvL6HwnWnLgZ8TWstaw6y-sGFnkCCzdH/s528/Sue%2527s+Gravestone.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="528" data-original-width="396" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBXre8imQTXVbgAEnOVps5ePk3fMnm3SY1dRd2YlJrQ9yPr8A5Z6YuKRnwNyj95Y7GHkQd1xzMkfHF4Avxa-3hjOm0yJcFS4aov0xzYlTq7vNeGvL6HwnWnLgZ8TWstaw6y-sGFnkCCzdH/s320/Sue%2527s+Gravestone.jpg" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p>so yeah - I'm a big emotional mess today. how to honor her memory? she didn't like cut flowers, "because they were dead". I do, so maybe I'll buy myself some. she enjoyed being taken out for brunch by her grandkids, but I'm still estranged from the rest of my family, so that's not going to happen...perhaps I can cook up one of her recipes? that's a possibility. I can't visit her grave, as it's in another country...I'm not financially solvent enough to donate to a good cause like <a href="https://miryslist.org/">Miry's List</a>, which helps welcome refugee families into new communities, or the <a href="https://www.nationalbailout.org/">National Bail Out</a> fund, specifically for Black moms, but I can share the link, and maybe someone else who is, can. I can visit the waterfall in Parksville where she spent childhood summers, and liked to go to honor her ancestors, watch a <a href="https://youtu.be/MUuEWI6F3dQ">movie that she loved</a>, or listen to <a href="https://youtu.be/2lD711_Xh8s">music she enjoyed</a>. maybe I can even work on one of the several knitting projects I'm sure I have tucked away among my craft hoard. I'm planning to do a <a href="https://www.facebook.com/mysteriam.tarot.dreamwork">tarot card pull</a> and see if she wants to offer me any advice through that medium. and - and this is big - I can mother myself. that's right, I still need mothering, too (don't we all? no matter how old we get?), and even though I've been working on that for years, I still need the reminder that I'm worthy of my own best mothering techniques, which include wrapping myself up in comfort, and making sure I feel nourished, whatever that might look like for me in the moment. today, I guess that looks like doing dishes/laundry/paperwork and avoidance, but I may also take some time to lay up on the couch, and demand that the Teen cook me dinner - he's fully capable, and it's the least I deserve out of respect for all I do for him. we'll see...(he made cheeseburgers and frozen French fries, yum!)<br /></p><p>and not only that, let's take more than a moment to remember the Great Mother who gives life to us <b>all</b>, this amazing planet we live on! here's a <a href="https://content.lifeisgood.com/ways-help-earth/">link</a> to help find some ways to do that, if you don't (or even if you do) make caring for our Earth a part of your daily life. </p><p> </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaViZtxcWN95XSe8MeQBtcGaeSAYO-tJeye_yOmZk9o47MhECqOv9r5zgnHVpy0FLHRv0DuZ_w6ydwMR4HR7FrZdocLX8OZ3kXzsdbiOGNJGu26nJzM3EZnvq177mCiQZWNAnBP7lAjOX5/s352/13418681_1110748052302242_212881281902862991_n.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="352" data-original-width="352" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaViZtxcWN95XSe8MeQBtcGaeSAYO-tJeye_yOmZk9o47MhECqOv9r5zgnHVpy0FLHRv0DuZ_w6ydwMR4HR7FrZdocLX8OZ3kXzsdbiOGNJGu26nJzM3EZnvq177mCiQZWNAnBP7lAjOX5/s320/13418681_1110748052302242_212881281902862991_n.jpg" /></a></div><br /> <p></p><p>in honor of the mothers I've known, and the ancestors I didn't, today I remember Sue (Sarah), Ayala, Sapta, Sapta Liza, Grandma Mirjam, Little Grandma, Regina, and Estar. thank you for everything ~ 💖</p><p><br /></p>Mama Pajamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10278474039105398842noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2740055889978712690.post-53925525692251971672021-03-03T17:39:00.004-05:002021-03-03T23:57:57.154-05:00Deck Review: The Living Altar<p><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgJZgosCRmEYzgc9aWZ7iCNesEkeac_l59HnDG_Q_zWw1mrU2DdJzLh2FD_jdbs-iFfBXwUVCyDMIzSHLIPu4pXo_g1cJM3taPr-rpNXQ7bfmfyc2W1JgapfFehpLEW-KJBwMe0o2Zh63k/s2048/20210211_121137.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1229" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgJZgosCRmEYzgc9aWZ7iCNesEkeac_l59HnDG_Q_zWw1mrU2DdJzLh2FD_jdbs-iFfBXwUVCyDMIzSHLIPu4pXo_g1cJM3taPr-rpNXQ7bfmfyc2W1JgapfFehpLEW-KJBwMe0o2Zh63k/s320/20210211_121137.jpg" /></a></div><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://www.livingaltar.com/#/" target="_blank">The Living Altar</a>, an oracle and spell deck for the radical witch by <a href="http://www.livingaltar.com/ylva-and-kiki.html#/" target="_blank">Kiki Robinson & Ylvadroma Marzanna Radziszewski</a>, centers everything the entire world should be focusing on in this time and place, using the language necessary to accomplish transformation. from the first "disrupt the status quo", to the last "ours is a zeitgeist of renaissance & reinvention", this deck is a learning experience for me that came through a moment of connection between myself, my heritage, and a tarot-fluent acquaintance. for most of my almost 40 years of reading tarot I've used the same deck - the first one I got at the beginning of my journey - and recently, after being gifted several new-to-me decks, it only took a minute to notice how cis/heteronormative/eurocentric most decks are, and as those are ideas and a kind of ideal I'm doing my best to move away from in as many ways as possible, I decided I needed a different kind of 'new'. so I went looking for decks that connect me to my traditional cultural heritage (which is rife with issues) and ended up being gifted <a href="http://www.livingaltar.com/about-tla.html#/" target="_blank">The Living Altar</a> deck by someone who thought it belonged more to me than to them. I really appreciate the opportunity to work with Romani artists, businesses, and witches, and this deck is a true call to action. <p></p><p><br /></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvD9GzVBltV_hB9lwFMoBXCrViNa5F4gHZHiEYnFMU77hVB1KysanFH6f-F1kq7GUh-DXokw_M5Ol_i6Rk1Onk7YKUynwzWAmm0wXDhswXNllTqvgZxp7I8dzIBvDLVaoNm7iM85BrnJYN/s2048/20210211_121155.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1229" data-original-width="2048" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvD9GzVBltV_hB9lwFMoBXCrViNa5F4gHZHiEYnFMU77hVB1KysanFH6f-F1kq7GUh-DXokw_M5Ol_i6Rk1Onk7YKUynwzWAmm0wXDhswXNllTqvgZxp7I8dzIBvDLVaoNm7iM85BrnJYN/s320/20210211_121155.jpg" width="320" /></a></div> <p></p><p>it's frankly a bit shocking how many decks and readers are out there, now...the whole discipline feels a bit saturated, but I must be getting old, because I find myself saying that about lots of things I used to be only one of a few people doing that's become more acceptably 'mainstream'! it's good, though - we need it. we need SO many more people to get in better tune with their cultural dynamic, and bring their magic into alignment with their own everyday rituals. this deck, with its 52 oracle cards, 14 ritual activation cards, comprehensive guidebook, and an endless variety of entry points with which to approach the work, I honestly felt a bit out of my depth at first sight. the nuances reminded me of the Enochian system, which I haven't worked with in a long time, and it definitely felt like approaching an intricate new tool as a beginner. laying the cards out in the wheel pattern helped to see the deck as a whole, and to connect with it in full bloom, as it were - so pretty!</p><p> </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcVYsFSJf7AZA1bw0D48Bj1yfAIYP4WtWKZwx1st5hzp7BGV-HWn5VIMhartYy85k038eqOhOfO19Imn1wiEtrRiKGo6zm-fNse1QfCUrdjxSuUGqRSPlNE4VUDqsRqu3048PRvJZQxatf/s1685/20210211_111137+%25282%2529.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1536" data-original-width="1685" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcVYsFSJf7AZA1bw0D48Bj1yfAIYP4WtWKZwx1st5hzp7BGV-HWn5VIMhartYy85k038eqOhOfO19Imn1wiEtrRiKGo6zm-fNse1QfCUrdjxSuUGqRSPlNE4VUDqsRqu3048PRvJZQxatf/s320/20210211_111137+%25282%2529.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /> <p></p><p>the cards are big, heavy, and there's so much going on with them visually. I like how they feel, though my hands are small, so it's hard to hold the whole deck at once. to begin, I did the Living Altar spread because it used the least amount of cards, is about struggle and the need for support, and was suggested as a ritual of self-devotion with which to draw courage and get hyped. the cards I drew were all from the 3rd narrative arc, those spells having to do with elemental everyday practical magic moments on the cusp between the death/rebirth cycle. here's a stripped-down version of my result ~ <br /></p><p><br /></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgq2UGopWbyVkepSdcm6IyH1FsjMH94x0vsuC1ZFqxxDZXVybp4YLT8MvrLesnUnz1BAbMpthg6vZ_ILgNd9H41RcbxnfgNPF7tPVof5brdrSrsUWEIfGzfl7qtrFMVmVGZPrdHIZN4xjGh/s2048/20210303_105119+%25282%2529.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1464" data-original-width="2048" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgq2UGopWbyVkepSdcm6IyH1FsjMH94x0vsuC1ZFqxxDZXVybp4YLT8MvrLesnUnz1BAbMpthg6vZ_ILgNd9H41RcbxnfgNPF7tPVof5brdrSrsUWEIfGzfl7qtrFMVmVGZPrdHIZN4xjGh/s320/20210303_105119+%25282%2529.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">top card - creativity, card 2 - inspiration, card 3 - resource, card 4 - relationship</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"> </td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"> </td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr></tbody></table><p></p><p><br /></p><p>the top card - card 1 - is The Altar, a goal/skill/spell to nourish/honor/tend to/celebrate. honoring inspiration by putting it into action. <i>creativity </i>means transforming, trusting, letting go, stepping into the new. it asks us (as all the cards do) "what wisdom is alchemizing within you?"</p><p> card 2 - The Heart - how our hearts come to The Altar, & how best to nourish and access it. <i>inspiration </i>says allow it to be undone, and moved through. let it change us in the ways it's meant to. accept this invitation to begin that process.</p><p>card 3 - The Body - same question about how best to access and nurture, how is The Body showing up? the way <i>resource</i> tells it, with age and wisdom...like the person I hope to become, the vessel I'll leave behind with as many gifts to offer those who come after as I can.</p><p>card 4 - The Ally - an invitation from the Wheel to access necessary resources to tend The Altar. <i>relationship </i>tells us to get ourselves some spiritual community for that collective well-being, & true intersectionality.</p><p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLhR35fFgs0gjjiqHN7luZSm_FUEsC9cLUso1U1CNt9lyj58n1MrROmqKKSkvCXjKrUHYvkJWZLWngF2N99UDz20ZNKnWjpSnl6GXIWvLrBoSHnMCkwdGdVict1cnvT0mDJNbLtnZEHASj/s2048/20210211_121535.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1229" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLhR35fFgs0gjjiqHN7luZSm_FUEsC9cLUso1U1CNt9lyj58n1MrROmqKKSkvCXjKrUHYvkJWZLWngF2N99UDz20ZNKnWjpSnl6GXIWvLrBoSHnMCkwdGdVict1cnvT0mDJNbLtnZEHASj/s320/20210211_121535.jpg" /></a></div><br /><p><br /></p><p>radical indeed...I dig these cards, with their bold red edges, collage art, and textural allure. I can feel how So Much went into creating them, and working with them, drawing energy through them, and capturing that moment in digital amber. I look forward to spending more time with this deck, and getting to know all the myriad ways it can inform and enhance my practice, for and with the collective. </p><p> </p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKIxGAM5bB0Q2gyCYgvhAIs7MdZc2SSILhWBzmgU9v5EWvr0eE2Yjpa36vAyWOogB8sRHikMjpYdWG_rKvNNXJTRI8scDRToYfFrA1CbXs9QiBsOdv-w0O_PQ5XWEP-M8KgTHpagd4uXUc/s2437/20210211_112855+%25283%2529.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1050" data-original-width="2437" height="173" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKIxGAM5bB0Q2gyCYgvhAIs7MdZc2SSILhWBzmgU9v5EWvr0eE2Yjpa36vAyWOogB8sRHikMjpYdWG_rKvNNXJTRI8scDRToYfFrA1CbXs9QiBsOdv-w0O_PQ5XWEP-M8KgTHpagd4uXUc/w400-h173/20210211_112855+%25283%2529.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td></tr></tbody></table><br /><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>Mama Pajamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10278474039105398842noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2740055889978712690.post-20190417139449924962021-02-27T03:53:00.004-05:002021-02-27T03:53:30.998-05:00man crush<p>never having aged<br />
<br /> except in my bones<br />
<br />
I want to do it<br />
<br /> dirty<br />
<br />
like teenagers<br />
<br />
in an alley</p><p> after the show<br />
<br />
behind a dumpster<br />
<br />
my stockings rip<br />
<br />
as your hands clutch<br />
<br />
desperately<br />
<br />
at my thigh<br />
<br />
god how I want him - want to get him alone, so I can seduce him into long kisses, groping at each other up against the car in the parking lot. moaning hard into each other's mouths, sucking each other's air in with our tongues...hot breath on necks in the dark, the desperation of our advancing age forcing us to hurry, get it all in while we can - like teens holding off their parents call that it's time to come in. can't sleep for thoughts of him - infatuation runs deep.<br />
<br />
I want to run with you<br /> fast as we can <br /> to nowhere<br />
holding hands<br />
laughing screaming<br />
with joy<br />
at the thrill of being alive<br />
with nothing else to do<br />
but feel each other rising<br />
in a world of possibility </p><p>your electric skin<br />
crackling<br />
beneath my fingers<br />
discovering worlds in our eyes<br />
sinking<br />
in the ocean<br />
pressing against<br />
my flesh<br />
from inside<br />
your lips<br />
our hair<br />
wild<br />
in the wind<br /></p>Mama Pajamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10278474039105398842noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2740055889978712690.post-1943281991153132602021-02-03T23:59:00.002-05:002022-01-23T09:46:20.880-05:00New Moon in Capricorn<p>here's something I've been meaning to talk about for awhile - tarot, and my connection to reading cards. I got my first deck 37 years ago at the (long since defunct) cool local head shop <a href="https://www.facebook.com/The-OM-of-Nanuet-NY-275843897874">the OM</a> where they sold silver jewelry, leather goods, paraphernalia, posters, groovy clothing, black lights, incense, tarot cards, and various 'adult' items I didn't yet know the use for. of all the things I bought there over my teen years, I only still have this amazing deer suede shirt by <a href="https://bangordailynews.com/2012/01/26/living/deerskin-creations-popular-for-maine-fashion-designer-even-after-40-years/" target="_blank">Erda</a>, and my <a href="http://www.aeclectic.net/tarot/cards/tarot-of-the-witches/" target="_blank">Tarot of the Witches</a> deck of tarot cards (scroll down at the link for a deck review).</p><p> </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj374ZzDcT__ik_9K3LUY0Ck9vI8Yx5EnhUnFJSfvEEDXTTAWeBuJ3sHNzrc-m6pYSFZ9cDaNL5YY4aRsd39m4kkmYk2Y2VeuxKeYGXIq13GwP-nQm-Kvcr3wHjBbVSKIAGu3wulfMML_3t/s2048/20210123_210516.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1229" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj374ZzDcT__ik_9K3LUY0Ck9vI8Yx5EnhUnFJSfvEEDXTTAWeBuJ3sHNzrc-m6pYSFZ9cDaNL5YY4aRsd39m4kkmYk2Y2VeuxKeYGXIq13GwP-nQm-Kvcr3wHjBbVSKIAGu3wulfMML_3t/w192-h320/20210123_210516.jpg" width="192" /></a> <br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKrSEDbS65uHt-OsK728RiP4UlZGqIBPsC55DWpzdew5P5FJzfHUXOdhb6w-NjTWurI2avKVTlKpswslls7PrVwlUg5u6JkiwC4nxWknd9zau6bXVC1AZjEzBm7NSUzMNc3j_sXT9zolLZ/s2048/20210123_210603.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1229" data-original-width="2048" height="120" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKrSEDbS65uHt-OsK728RiP4UlZGqIBPsC55DWpzdew5P5FJzfHUXOdhb6w-NjTWurI2avKVTlKpswslls7PrVwlUg5u6JkiwC4nxWknd9zau6bXVC1AZjEzBm7NSUzMNc3j_sXT9zolLZ/w200-h120/20210123_210603.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p></p><p><br /></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-75OfdvE7u3guyhAG6AArpAMcbfbrabLFBuluBikX7K59u18L3P5fEU4J9nKxIAY2gTrQz58csyiouUm3ew486sSiVmFza32LUQlFqfhNOwQ13Fi6ccNcvp8PBg8Rl1uIS3mkt5gp83gH/s710/57750.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="710" data-original-width="471" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-75OfdvE7u3guyhAG6AArpAMcbfbrabLFBuluBikX7K59u18L3P5fEU4J9nKxIAY2gTrQz58csyiouUm3ew486sSiVmFza32LUQlFqfhNOwQ13Fi6ccNcvp8PBg8Rl1uIS3mkt5gp83gH/w213-h320/57750.jpg" width="213" /></a></div> <p></p><p>where did I first learn about tarot? in my mother's shelves of books which included Eden Gray's <i>Tarot Revealed: A Modern Guide to Reading the Tarot Cards</i>? in the library stacks, where I discovered so much more? in the music I listened to, the people I bonded with? or was it in the head shop itself, the first time I saw that High Priestess image in her jewel tones, on the outside of the box, her cold stare beckoning to me from some weird, nightmarish, yet oddly comforting circus-world. I learned many years later from some acquaintances who owned a bookstore that this unique deck by <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fergus_Hall" target="_blank">Fergus Hall</a> was featured in the 1973 <a href="https://www.jamesbondlifestyle.com/product/tarot-witches-cards-fergus-hall" target="_blank">James Bond</a> film Live and Let Die. so weird!<br /></p><p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" class="BLOG_video_class" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/jsSY-A2f28A" width="320" youtube-src-id="jsSY-A2f28A"></iframe></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Roger Moore as 007 & Jane Seymour as Solitaire <br /></div><br /><p></p><p>in a way, it's cliche to be (part) Roma and read tarot cards, and I did 'work' the <a href="https://dangerouswomenproject.org/2016/06/05/romani-women/" target="_blank">exoticism</a> many of my cousins complain about feeling targeted and harassed for before I understood the implications of that sexualized perspective to those without my privilege. now, I feel like plenty of people capitalize on tenuous and non-existent links to marginalized cultures, so why should I feel bad about owning my own cultural heritage, especially when it has nothing to do with my interest in tarot? how my father hated to see me dabbling in the occult; how averse he was to anything that might be interpreted as 'witchcraft' from growing up with a stigma about being Roma, as well as Jewish - a culture which abhors the witch. for sure I was the only kid in my high school class doing readings in the school
library during lunch! the folks I met later at Renaissance fairs, Rainbow gatherings, pagan camp-outs, and work with in a coven had more of a connection to esoteric knowledge, and through them my understanding of tarot & magick deepened and grew. even though I've been drawn to other styles and types of tarot decks and spreads, I've mostly only ever used my own deck, other than a few reads with a friend's <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/34231611-celtic-tree-oracle" target="_blank">Celtic Tree Oracle</a> (though there isn't a Celtic bone in my body), and had never read any minor arcana cards because in my deck, those cards are 'pips' - just a picture of the suit with that number of cups/batons/coins/swords on it - rather than the well-known picture cards imbued with symbolic meanings.<br /></p><p> </p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgagXpCAaU25cOTnD31T309dVWECHdk0gy9sk0XIfSfj7rl51ebM2KMp9jgDjKqaAiVURLoP-Ggk9JYjzboclwE5DQDskauF5qeMdUxbObYGtioS8RtvBc8vXM6UoGRk0EsIatuycP9Rspp/s1024/9898ea376983ad31bfd14f8041a00382.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1024" data-original-width="986" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgagXpCAaU25cOTnD31T309dVWECHdk0gy9sk0XIfSfj7rl51ebM2KMp9jgDjKqaAiVURLoP-Ggk9JYjzboclwE5DQDskauF5qeMdUxbObYGtioS8RtvBc8vXM6UoGRk0EsIatuycP9Rspp/w309-h320/9898ea376983ad31bfd14f8041a00382.jpg" width="309" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">10 of cups on the bottom right is a 'pip' card.<br /></td></tr></tbody></table><p></p><p> </p><p>during my last round of college I met a well-educated, forthright, outspoken, proud young <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gitanos" target="_blank">Cale</a> woman from a well-known Flamenco family who taught me what it meant to be an advocate for the Roma people, and through her, I became acquainted with many other Romani scholars, activists, and artists. and wonderful as it was to finally get access to real and empowering information about Roma people and culture, it was just as hard to feel shut down by some of them because tarot card reading/belly dancing/poetry writing/white girl Roma who say G*psy and claim to have Romani grandmothers yet no tradition/language/community get told by more traditional Roma who know who they are and grew up in communities with shared languages to sit down, and stay in our lane. they call us 'didikoi' (half-breed), and sometimes even 'gadje' (non-Roma), because they know how much it hurts. now, I have a great deal of respect for those scholars, activists, and artists, but I also see that I can be proud of my Roma heritage, and still read cards, while being an active voice in the conversation to uplift our communities. I feel that I have a responsibility to speak about Roma issues from where I
stand, without what is considered to be a 'traditional' upbringing, and I have every right to do my work for financial gain, as well. why waste my energy envying folks for doing the same work I've felt called to do for so many years, out of some sense of moral conscience, just because someone who doesn't know me said I can't/shouldn't? now that I've had a few years of feeling badly for possibly misrepresenting my own culture in the past when I knew less about it, in a world where so many appropriators are out there doing it every day, and since I now know better and do my best to elevate the narrative, I honestly no longer see any problem with my engaging in a practice I've studied for decades, no matter what ethnicity, religion, or traditional folkways I come from. </p><p> </p><p><b></b></p><div style="text-align: center;"><blockquote><div style="margin-left: 40px;"><span style="color: #04ff00;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #ff00fe;">I believe in using
the tarot as a tool to help clear your mind, to think deeply about the
situations in your life, and help guide your decisions. there are those
who do less and claim more.</span> </span></span></span></div></blockquote></div><p><br /><span style="font-family: arial;"></span><br />a friend of mine recently downsized their home, so they gifted me a number of different tarot decks, some of which I was able to pass on to other people who needed them. soon after that, I felt a strong draw towards <a href="https://www.katelanfoisy.com/" target="_blank">Katelan Foisy</a>'s P7: Planetarium workshops during which I really reconnected with that way of being 'witchy' - getting back to my cards, burning candles & herbs, charging and using crystals in ritual, working with the moon, engaging with astrology, sigils, goddess energy, chakras, dreams...it was refreshingly inspiring. during that time, I'd been seeing a flyer for <a href="https://www.sheainthecatskills.com/" target="_blank">Shea's</a> tarot group at the library, and didn't manage to get to it in person before it went online for the pandemic - which I'm glad it did, as it's been great to have what amounts to a women's group to connect with regularly this past year! so through that online group, I've been renewing my relationship with the major arcana from a more diverse and mature perspective, bringing in all I've learned through both my academic and independent research in family systems theory, mythology, folklore, ethnography, storytelling, and collective and personal experience. I'm also learning how to work with the minors which obviously opens up a whole new level of understanding for me after all these years, which has been deeply gratifying. <br /></p><p>for the online group, I'd been working with the <a href="https://www.tarot.com/tarot/decks/tarot-moon-garden" target="_blank">Tarot of a Moon Garden</a> as it was the only deck I had that's based on <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pamela_Colman_Smith" target="_blank">Pamela Coleman Smith</a>'s artwork, though it's a bit fairie-cartooney for me, and...not quite right. I'd been wanting to get a deck that spoke to my newer understanding of what a deck can be - like the the <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thoth_tarot_deck" target="_blank">Thoth deck</a> I've been wanting to work with for at least 30 years, now - and I had recently become aware of <a href="https://www.cosmopolitan.com/lifestyle/a34863918/hoodoo-tarot-cards/" target="_blank">The Hoodoo Tarot</a> through<a href="https://www.instagram.com/katelanfoisy/" target="_blank"> Katelan</a>, who I didn't at first realize had done the artwork, or had done a previous Oracle deck with <a href="https://www.innertraditions.com/author/tayannah-lee-mcquillar" target="_blank">Tayannah Lee McQuillar</a> (the <a href="https://www.innertraditions.com/books/the-sibyls-oraculum" target="_blank">Sibyls Oraculum</a>). I didn't want to buy it, though, because something I read made me feel like the deck was only really meant for a certain population, and that as a non-white white person, it isn't a population I belong to, so I promoted it out of my love for it, but did what I thought was staying in my lane by not buying it. </p><p> </p><div style="text-align: center;"><blockquote><p><span class="d2edcug0 hpfvmrgz qv66sw1b c1et5uql rrkovp55 a8c37x1j keod5gw0 nxhoafnm aigsh9s9 d3f4x2em fe6kdd0r mau55g9w c8b282yb iv3no6db jq4qci2q a3bd9o3v knj5qynh oo9gr5id hzawbc8m" dir="auto"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #ff00fe;"><span style="font-family: arial;">"The Hoodoo Tarot
is a Gorgeous deck, and I keep going back to look at it! I was
recently lamenting the lack of Black, Indigenous, and People of Color on
tarot decks in general, and while I have no knowledge of, nor cultural
connection to, Hoodoo (or Rootwork), I am still Very drawn to this deck,
and would love to work with it!" - Oct. 2019</span></span></span><br /></span></p></blockquote></div><p> </p><p>during a recent wander through Barnes & Noble, I was pleased to see <a href="https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-hoodoo-tarot-tayannah-lee-mcquillar/1132733309?ean=9781620558737" target="_blank">The Hoodoo Tarot</a> on the shelf with a few other forward-thinking decks I recently became aware of, and it occurred to me...first of all, right on <a href="https://www.instagram.com/tayannahleemcquillar/" target="_blank">Tayannah</a> & <a href="https://www.instagram.com/katelanfoisy/" target="_blank">Katelan</a>! and if they're selling that deck in <a href="https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-hoodoo-tarot-tayannah-lee-mcquillar/1132733309?ean=9781620558737" target="_blank">Barnes & Noble</a>, hopefully to enough people to earn them a good living along with the other work they do, then as someone who deeply respects the traditions and cultures of others stemming from a history of having my own misunderstood and disrespected, I can certainly work with this deck, too. I didn't have enough in the budget to buy it right then, but after receiving some monetary gifts for my recent birthday, I happily went back for it (and gotten the This Might Hurt & The Wild Unknown decks, as well).<br /></p><p> </p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmXi01Y3bU30G-8-zg4sqQhebJBTv4NbOtiXLBWe-XhmYzLGbYXaLsP0QDW5HP8th-8QsGwcAOjNXSYnhbmviRaceW641OXlMZMa2Fu5Lbg7HUnW0YmhWsZRHvbuN1yz8NIRO56DfrUcOe/s1800/hoodoo.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="900" data-original-width="1800" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmXi01Y3bU30G-8-zg4sqQhebJBTv4NbOtiXLBWe-XhmYzLGbYXaLsP0QDW5HP8th-8QsGwcAOjNXSYnhbmviRaceW641OXlMZMa2Fu5Lbg7HUnW0YmhWsZRHvbuN1yz8NIRO56DfrUcOe/w400-h200/hoodoo.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">look!!!<br /></td></tr></tbody></table><br /><p></p><p>I've also learned to branch out from the classic 10-card Celtic cross and explore different spreads. the Celtic Tree Oracle uses a fairly elaborate 15-card set-up, and <a href="http://www.aeclectic.net/tarot/cards/faeries-oracle/" target="_blank">Froud's Faerie Oracle</a> uses one and three card pulls for beginner basics, then encourages dabblers to use their intuition to draw cards about a situation or conflict, and formulate a series of deeper questions based on the number of cards drawn. some of the folks I follow on instagram will posts links to different spreads from other readers, but I can't always tell what the source is, and as a librarian's kid who's spent time in academics, if I can't cite it, I won't reference it. and though I'm not new to doing this work, I'm new to advertising online that I do it, and I realize that not only is there a learning curve, but there are SO many others out there with much more business acumen and advertising savvy doing the same thing, and it's rather daunting...and I certainly don't want to step on any toes! in that spirit, I'll share some of my favorite online resources: I really dig the intuitive astrology by Tanaaz of <a href="https://foreverconscious.com/" target="_blank">Forever Conscious</a>, the weekly readings from <a href="https://www.instagram.com/moonandcactus/" target="_blank">moonandcactus</a> on instagram are great, and I like <a href="https://www.3amtarot.com/">3am.tarot</a> for spreads and card meanings. Meg's (3am.tarot) <a href="https://www.autostraddle.com/tag/tarotscopes/" target="_blank">seasonal tarotscopes</a> on autostraddle are really meaningful for me, and her <a href="https://www.instagram.com/3am.tarot/" target="_blank">instagram</a> crystal pairings make me stop and think about what I'm looking to clarify. astrology isn't a field I've worked with much past in the past, and I'm still learning the basics past my own sun sign, stars, and planets, but it works well with tarot for me in terms of giving me a frame in which to hang ritual work around (think Solstices and Equinoxes). </p><p><br /></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPAjFrntvWVcl63nF64-MnAa7KyX-EX_PM7gHIilAdhDNLa6hrNvZwDk6DkD9zSJA2GnF0TG-hF6zv6jtOlYT8N7NgV5dQ7oYcSWVjUVdteZNki-g8Tsze9irisKfZxSrguGzFZk35iDQQ/s2048/20210123_225456.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1229" data-original-width="2048" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPAjFrntvWVcl63nF64-MnAa7KyX-EX_PM7gHIilAdhDNLa6hrNvZwDk6DkD9zSJA2GnF0TG-hF6zv6jtOlYT8N7NgV5dQ7oYcSWVjUVdteZNki-g8Tsze9irisKfZxSrguGzFZk35iDQQ/w400-h240/20210123_225456.jpg" width="400" /></a></div> <p></p><p>so, this is my way of saying that I am once again going to be offering tarot card readings! the decks I currently work with are: Tarot of the Witches, The Celtic Tree Oracle, The Fairy Oracle, the Lover's Tarot, Tarot of a Moon Garden, The Hoodoo Tarot, <a href="http://www.livingaltar.com/#/" target="_blank">The Living Altar</a>, the <a href="https://www.isabellarotman.com/" target="_blank">This Might Hurt</a> tarot, & <a href="https://www.thewildunknown.com/" target="_blank">The Wild Unknown</a>. <a href="https://www.facebook.com/mysteriam.tarot.dreamwork" target="_blank">get in touch with me</a> so we can work together - and since I'm all about helping people connect with their own cultural heritage, I'm happy to help you figure out what that is, and which deck or decks would be right for you for a reading. also, the best way for me to do this work is by giving something back to the various organizations that also seek to reconnect folks to their heritage/culture, and preserve it, so we can figure out how that might look for you, as well. following is a list of organizations I believe in, and am happy to support, and please let me know if there's another group/organization you'd like to see on this list. I'm looking forward to hearing from you!<br /></p><p> </p><p><u>5% of your reading fee can go towards</u>:</p><p><a href="https://www.nativewomenswilderness.org/mmiw">https://www.nativewomenswilderness.org/mmiw</a></p><p><a href="https://www.nqttcn.com/">https://www.nqttcn.com/</a></p><p><a href="https://venmo.com/TheNapMinistry">https://venmo.com/TheNapMinistry</a> <br /></p><p><a href="https://www.plannedparenthood.org/">https://www.plannedparenthood.org/</a></p><p><a href="https://www.hicksfordistrictsix.com/">https://www.hicksfordistrictsix.com/</a> </p><p><a href="https://citizenactionny.org/">https://citizenactionny.org/</a></p><p><a href="https://eriac.org/">https://eriac.org/</a></p><p><a href="https://www.natifs.org/indigenous-food-lab/">https://www.natifs.org/indigenous-food-lab/</a> </p><p><a href="https://www.splcenter.org/">https://www.splcenter.org/</a><br /></p>Mama Pajamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10278474039105398842noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2740055889978712690.post-59402512713124892082021-01-01T12:20:00.002-05:002021-01-02T08:53:08.427-05:00Memory Jar 2020<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxJNsKkRkciS40oVum7XDOBi1Mz3pEvIcwfPLS2zDOCd1lsUjE5QsPjhiSaJhofiRfTQsG_awpTtO2K16vY6GkF1a8UFrFXZ6ZGxHN3oBKSjMzYBVeHO0bRwdomfYlP3AjqNbkl7JXUzo4/s1280/memory+jar.JPG" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="1280" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxJNsKkRkciS40oVum7XDOBi1Mz3pEvIcwfPLS2zDOCd1lsUjE5QsPjhiSaJhofiRfTQsG_awpTtO2K16vY6GkF1a8UFrFXZ6ZGxHN3oBKSjMzYBVeHO0bRwdomfYlP3AjqNbkl7JXUzo4/s320/memory+jar.JPG" width="320" /></a></div> <p></p><p>wow, 7 years of memory jars! I guess I'm getting pretty good at this 'creating traditions' thing...I wonder if it's something my son will carry forward with him when he starts his own family? here's what it is: over the course of the year, my son and I write down good/fun/happy moments we experience, on recycled slips of paper, and put them in our 'memory jar' (an antique Queen mason jar). on New Year's Eve, we open the jar, and read the slips of paper to each other as a way to relive the best parts of our year over again. it's a nice New Year's Eve ritual, and in this year of pandemic, when we won't be joining in any celebrations, it feels especially important, as we made a real effort to find moments in time to be grateful for in our relative isolation.</p><p> </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXEsRCYGtOXEqi-V6Oxk9PsJXeNfxFRytafEkgHaRS6ScF1RvUkYA2C5jz65ctiBuhJwfX9ewxfhtkNllCKFgQzfs13UHZmnubXc4oipljp0CzmD0kGuyVxLmQveirVMNRUSv8IsAY93UY/s2048/20201231_172937.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1229" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXEsRCYGtOXEqi-V6Oxk9PsJXeNfxFRytafEkgHaRS6ScF1RvUkYA2C5jz65ctiBuhJwfX9ewxfhtkNllCKFgQzfs13UHZmnubXc4oipljp0CzmD0kGuyVxLmQveirVMNRUSv8IsAY93UY/s320/20201231_172937.jpg" /></a></div><p> </p><p>my son chose to go in to work tonight, so I'm currently home alone (unless you count my incredibly loud and annoying upstairs neighbors), and I plan to spend my evening indulging in an epsom salt bath, followed by lighting candles and reading tarot cards. I considered getting myself a bottle of champagne, but since I renewed my commitment to bettering my health, decided alcohol wasn't a necessary component of my personal celebration, though I may choose to have a cup of hot chocolate, instead. I also stopped at the store to pick up chocolate chips and eggs to make this <a href="https://www.buffdudes.us/blogs/food-recipes/2-ingredient-chocolate-cake-easy-recipe?fbclid=IwAR0qwBXs1S_c9sk5YvZHhZgP9elIXh0AMekxzTPC2orNgWkDsYU93n8BjXs" target="_blank">2 ingredient chocolate cake</a> - courtesy of <a href="https://www.buffdudes.us/" target="_blank">The B.U.F.F. Dudes</a> - as a treat for my son when he gets home from work, because it's still a holiday, and a hard-working teen deserves a healthy version of chocolate cake after busting his butt working on New Year's Eve. </p><p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNnAV42MCh4-7n1I0x2ryjf2L5r9c9npibfeFjKfrnSFmjSn798qoJoZdo1H0EWKuA_mZkSb_AuzCqsLONWj2CO-A4_SaLVqyEl4adyv1rusjxVLg3XCusD3JtMPgUyXKXm_J1smSb25W2/s2048/20201231_173100.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1229" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNnAV42MCh4-7n1I0x2ryjf2L5r9c9npibfeFjKfrnSFmjSn798qoJoZdo1H0EWKuA_mZkSb_AuzCqsLONWj2CO-A4_SaLVqyEl4adyv1rusjxVLg3XCusD3JtMPgUyXKXm_J1smSb25W2/s320/20201231_173100.jpg" /></a></div><p></p><p> </p><p>here are our good memories of 2020:</p><p><b>him ~</b> </p><p>100 in English, lol <br /></p><p>getting job at S-----</p><p>working</p>getting bicycle<p>MSI gaming z rtx 2060</p><p>getting monitor</p><p>finishing PC</p><p>finishing gaming setup</p><p>getting gaming chair</p><p>new mouse</p><p>joining Mumutopia</p><p></p><p>Doom Eternal</p><p></p><p></p><p>Naruto</p><p></p><p>Hannukah</p><p>tricking mom into saying "underwear" by asking "what's under there?"</p><p>"Europe Who?" (knock knock, who's there, Europe, Europe who [sounds like 'you're a poo']) </p><p>*high pitched* "eeh" "eeh" "mee-EEH"</p><p>burgers</p><p> </p><p>so for him, this year was all about getting his first 'real' job (he worked last summer, but that was just doing lift & carry for a local yard sale guy), and enjoying the benefits of what earning decent money (for a teenager) can get him. a new bike, a fancy computer set-up that I don't even know how to turn on, having good times gaming with his friends online - which is nice, since they haven't seen each other in person for forever - and watching shows that he enjoys while managing to keep up with his schoolwork. the holidays were fun and he enjoyed the traditional foods we cooked together, as well as some of the everyday meals we made, and as always, he loves being a little joker and sharing our silly inside jokes, too ("eeh, eeh, mee- EEH" made my list, too).</p><p><br /></p><p><b>me ~ </b><br /></p><p>D--- came to visit! <br /></p><p>birthday buffet/chocolatefest 2020</p><p>game day party!</p><p>visit from S---- bearing lovely gifts</p><p>The Beautiful Bastards in Hunter</p><p>(Southern accent) "go to bed, y'all from Shreeveport?"</p><p>letting things go/leading with love</p><p>the 'rona lockdown, lol...not really.</p><p>Geezus Butlers at Oakley's</p><p>Teen doing so well at his job</p><p>a friend's newborn baby</p><p>High Holy Days/Sukkot</p><p>completing the Couch to 5k program <br /></p><p>my first 5k, and every one since!</p><p>how proud I am of the Teen</p><p>latkes & suvganiot - it was a wonderful Hannukah</p><p>lowest blood sugar reading<br /></p><p>art dates with L---</p><p>Teen doing well in school despite the terrible circumstances</p><p>squeaky peasant!</p><p>staying consistent with my goal of improving my health, and losing 40 pounds so far! </p><p><br /></p><p>for me, I enjoyed spending time with dear friends (when we still could), celebrating my birthday, seeing my friends' bands play live music (when we still could), watching movies with my son that we now have inside jokes about (the one about Shreeveport is from The Princess & The Frog, and the 'squeaky peasant' is from Ladyhawk, which made his list, too), being proud of my son, celebrating holidays and new life, and making the commitment to taking better care of myself by eating better and exercising. so for a relatively crap year, we didn't do too badly...and the hard-working Teen enjoyed a piece of the cake I baked for him when he got home, even though it's a bit weird looking:</p><p><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjM75seu3_MKtVwZFXvE06xJhk8M89hay85_wBJEm3kQ8uffGfgj3xhM2IokfWu8w9PI27IsF82BASifr8td414pkzBf3mio2qGPSn2L6rbhNJqTU3nFbfjzn-XWV8EjdvV4pkSg_ZVKR5-/s2048/20201231_233520.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1229" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjM75seu3_MKtVwZFXvE06xJhk8M89hay85_wBJEm3kQ8uffGfgj3xhM2IokfWu8w9PI27IsF82BASifr8td414pkzBf3mio2qGPSn2L6rbhNJqTU3nFbfjzn-XWV8EjdvV4pkSg_ZVKR5-/s320/20201231_233520.jpg" /></a></div><p></p><p> </p><p>it just looked so plain by itself, and I decided it needed frosting, but I didn't have any powdered sugar because I don't tend to keep that stocked in my kitchen. so I put some of the organic raw cane sugar I had in my mortar and crushed it with the pestle. yes, I did. I made just enough frosting for a thin layer over the top of the cake, then used a cupcake liner as a way to sprinkle silver 'shimmer sugar' into a random pattern of circles across the top...I don't know, I was experimenting. who cares what it looks like - it's delicious, and the kid appreciated and enjoyed it! I hope everyone had a safe and happy holiday, whether you celebrate the New Year or not. it seems a bit arbitrary to me at this point, but I do like and cling to my own traditions, so I try not to begrudge others sticking to theirs. let's look forward to bright and beautiful new endeavors to embark on, and good times enjoyed with our dear ones coming back into our lives at some point, when it's safe again. I wish all of you all the best in 2021!<br /></p><p><br /></p><p>check out our 'memory jar' posts from years past, below!<br /></p><p><a href="https://theunusedportion.blogspot.com/2015/02/memory-jar-2014.html" target="_blank">2014</a> - <a href="https://theunusedportion.blogspot.com/2015/12/memory-jar-2015.html" target="_blank">2015</a> - <a href="https://theunusedportion.blogspot.com/2017/01/memory-jar-2016.html" target="_blank">2016</a> - <a href="https://theunusedportion.blogspot.com/2018/01/memory-jar-2017.html" target="_blank">2017</a> - <a href="https://theunusedportion.blogspot.com/2019/01/memory-jar-2018.html" target="_blank">2018</a> - <a href="https://theunusedportion.blogspot.com/2020/01/memory-jar-2019.html" target="_blank">2019</a></p>Mama Pajamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10278474039105398842noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2740055889978712690.post-41923198369674250852020-11-04T21:56:00.000-05:002020-11-04T21:56:08.126-05:00Dona Nobis Pacem - "Peace in the Time of Quarantine"<p> </p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://blog4peace.com/" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" target="_blank"><img border="0" data-original-height="239" data-original-width="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2L2qs0ysHccHu5dQ-dUtkTk_-zaMN8eWMLMTcALcVqgmJBRH1O7x9_C0p17vTLNSPpx33pOaupBl46RNimdhD6VYoL0dxdW-VctzhXI_prk5phyJnzKNJEfxgM-bgbpjyhvxBP-BJthrE/s0/Dona+nobis+pacem+template+%25232b+Mimi+Lenox.jpg" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://blog4peace.com/" target="_blank">click here to learn more about this project, and its founder, Mimi Lenox</a><a href="http://blog4peace.com/" target="_blank"><br /></a></td></tr></tbody></table><p></p><p><br /></p><p>"Peace in the Time of Quarantine" is the theme of this year's Blog Blast for Peace. I've participated on and off for several years, and this year...well, this year I hardly know what to say about the subject. As usual, I'm (fashionably?) late to the party, and as I sit in the gathering dark of my apartment on November 4th, waiting for the United States to oust our moronic, racist, rapist, tax-evading, mentally unbalanced, trustafarian crook of a side-show 'president' from our midst in what should be a landslide victory for another questionable and creepy politician with a running mate who gets the side-eye for her past involvement in destroying innocent people's lives with undeserved prison sentences, I find myself exhausted, disillusioned, and angry. How did we get here? How did we come to find ourselves with so many struggling, unemployed, hanging by a financial thread about to fall into ruin, with hundreds of thousands of us dead and dying from a virus that we had every tool necessary to avoid? Families separated at the border, children in cages, women in ICE 'detention centers' being sterilized against their will, Black women and men murdered in cold blood, missing and murdered Indigenous women, Indigenous water protectors shot over pipelines crossing their sovereign lands, Flint Michigan still without clean water, trans people regularly beaten to death, sex workers forced out of their trade by vengeful politicians regularly caught with their pants down in the company of their rent-boys...the list goes on, and the rich continue to turn a massive profit at our expense.</p><p><br /></p><p>So how <i>did</i> we get here? Incompetence. Corruption. Patriarchal capitalistic values. Individual/institutional/structural racism. Cronyism & nepotism. A lack of decent education giving us the tools to do the work of learning truth ourselves. For way too long, the white establishment has lived in comfort and complacency within a system built for them and them alone, and I had hoped that their time of reckoning was at hand. I'm all for tearing it down to the ground and rebuilding a better world under the guidance and supervision of traditionally marginalized communities. While I had really hoped to be voting for Bernie Sanders in this election, I'm also well aware that a country that failed to elect a woman for president will never elect a Jewish man either, however innocuous his Jewishness actually is to the Christian majority. So we've got Uncle Joe McFeely-Hands, and Cop-ella DeVille instead. Great. Wonderful. I'm filled with an overwhelming sense of peace...not. It's enough to make me want to follow through on my constant threats to exercise my privilege to live in another country (which comes with a host of it's own issues, of course).</p><p><br /></p><p>As for the quarantine, I'm another one of those middle-aged Gen Xers who's more than happy to stay home avoiding people for the most part, though I do miss seeing live music performed in a space where I can dance with others who also love to get their groove on to good tunes. Oh, and I'm completely broke for lack of work - that part sucks balls. Other than that, quarantine has been, in a sense, good for me. Knowing I would go off-the-wall bonkers if I didn't get outside for fresh air and exercise regularly when my state went into lockdown over the coronavirus, I started walking outside three times a week. Nothing major, just up the hill of my street and back down, maybe a half mile all told. It was more effort than I thought it would be at first, but as the weeks progressed, it got easier, and I added jumping jacks at the top of the hill, which I increased over time. At some point, I started jogging to the bottom of the hill, which eventually led to my downloading the 'couch to 5k' app to my phone, and working my way up to jogging for 30 minutes straight, eventually to a distance of 5k (3.1 miles, which takes me about an hour...yeah, I'm slow, mostly because I was more than 100 pounds overweight when I started this journey). </p><p><br /></p><p>So what does me getting my jog on have to do with peace and quarantine? well, like many Americans who have long been concerned at the way our country's politics have been moving closer towards fascism, I stayed up late last night watching the results of our election come in, and when I finally called it a night out of exhaustion, I didn't sleep well. Still, I was up near dawn, as is my habit, got into my running gear, and...sat down at my computer to check what had transpired with the vote-counting overnight. The results were not as encouraging as I had hoped, and with a growing sense of doom I couldn't quite explain - given my firm belief that Uncle Joe was still going to win - I went to the trail to get my run on. If it was due to the previously mentioned lack of quality sleep, the fact that my leggings are getting too big (I'm down 32 pounds) and kept falling down, <span class="d2edcug0 hpfvmrgz qv66sw1b c1et5uql rrkovp55 a8c37x1j keod5gw0 nxhoafnm aigsh9s9 d3f4x2em fe6kdd0r mau55g9w c8b282yb iv3no6db jq4qci2q a3bd9o3v knj5qynh oo9gr5id hzawbc8m" dir="auto">my app not tracking my mileage properly, doing yesterday's workout too late in the day and not leaving myself enough
time to recover, not nourishing myself well enough, 'monkey-mind', or not being able to get out of my head, I had a crap run today. I only ran for about a half
mile, then walked another mile to a bench where I sat in the sun and took some time to enjoy the peace and quiet. When it felt like time to stroll back down the trail to my car, I
stopped to watch the birds and squirrels, and thought about how I no longer take the time to go camping, or even just be in the woods with no agenda other than to commune with nature. I also found myself composing social media updates in my head, and how thinking about what I was going to post when I got home ran counter to why I started
this journey in the first place, and had me considering that I might be losing
sight of my WHY. </span></p><p><span class="d2edcug0 hpfvmrgz qv66sw1b c1et5uql rrkovp55 a8c37x1j keod5gw0 nxhoafnm aigsh9s9 d3f4x2em fe6kdd0r mau55g9w c8b282yb iv3no6db jq4qci2q a3bd9o3v knj5qynh oo9gr5id hzawbc8m" dir="auto"><br /></span></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPzE_B3K6swPK8LWXEackxDwJrL-wGVcPSaeCUk4F8qR4OnY0PlkL7Q8ThQyVIMZQpTZdrOczgNYsdrPE4x1SgoaQTPyv9AxQAdQI_ebi16F1hktx1gEtgb5fmCUl7YyZCOae0kSJEvhqN/s2048/20201014_095817.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1229" data-original-width="2048" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPzE_B3K6swPK8LWXEackxDwJrL-wGVcPSaeCUk4F8qR4OnY0PlkL7Q8ThQyVIMZQpTZdrOczgNYsdrPE4x1SgoaQTPyv9AxQAdQI_ebi16F1hktx1gEtgb5fmCUl7YyZCOae0kSJEvhqN/w400-h240/20201014_095817.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><span class="d2edcug0 hpfvmrgz qv66sw1b c1et5uql rrkovp55 a8c37x1j keod5gw0 nxhoafnm aigsh9s9 d3f4x2em fe6kdd0r mau55g9w c8b282yb iv3no6db jq4qci2q a3bd9o3v knj5qynh oo9gr5id hzawbc8m" dir="auto"><br /></span><p></p><p><span class="d2edcug0 hpfvmrgz qv66sw1b c1et5uql rrkovp55 a8c37x1j keod5gw0 nxhoafnm aigsh9s9 d3f4x2em fe6kdd0r mau55g9w c8b282yb iv3no6db jq4qci2q a3bd9o3v knj5qynh oo9gr5id hzawbc8m" dir="auto">My WHY was originally to learn to celebrate myself in healthier ways than by overindulging in food & drink. My WHY was to get fresh air and exercise on a regular basis. My WHY slowly became a way to clear my head, have some 'me time', listen to music, and have fun while working to boost my metabolism, lower my blood sugar, and regain some of the strength and stamina I lost from spending too much time sitting on the couch. Sadly, it seems I've become overly dependent on the positive reactions and supportive comments of my running community on social media. And though they are inherently uplifting and helpful, the fact that I'm thinking about them on my run rather than focusing on where and how to place my feet, or paying attention to my breathing, my pace, or simply enjoying the fact that my body is strong and healthy enough to carry me down the trail for a certain amount of time and distance - or the privilege of having the time and safe spaces to enjoy running - speaks loudly to the kind of chaotic disconnect I feel in our collective unconscious...as if we've been encouraged to lose our way. On the other hand, there has also been a collective uprising against that disconnect, and while that movement gives me hope, it still hasn't brought the level of change I think we need in order to move forward with purpose again. </span></p><p><span class="d2edcug0 hpfvmrgz qv66sw1b c1et5uql rrkovp55 a8c37x1j keod5gw0 nxhoafnm aigsh9s9 d3f4x2em fe6kdd0r mau55g9w c8b282yb iv3no6db jq4qci2q a3bd9o3v knj5qynh oo9gr5id hzawbc8m" dir="auto"><br /></span></p><p><span class="d2edcug0 hpfvmrgz qv66sw1b c1et5uql rrkovp55 a8c37x1j keod5gw0 nxhoafnm aigsh9s9 d3f4x2em fe6kdd0r mau55g9w c8b282yb iv3no6db jq4qci2q a3bd9o3v knj5qynh oo9gr5id hzawbc8m" dir="auto">The fact that 24 hours after many of the polls have closed we still don't have that landslide victory I had hoped for tells us that at least half of this country is still willing to throw the other half of this country under the bus to ensure their continued complacent comfort at the expense of others, and that's a huge problem. Our work is nowhere near done. And that's exhausting. So incredibly bone-tiring, it affected my ability to jog happily up the pretty wooded trail in my quaint little community where I don't have to worry about being out alone for a run. Can you imagine how it must feel to those on the front lines? To the folks who do the work because their lives depend on it in a way I can only partially feel, and most others don't even deign to feel, or dare to push back against? How tired do you think those folks are? How much jogging on maintained wooded trails for health and wellness do you think they get to enjoy? No matter how much it makes us want to lie down and give up, we simply can't fail in continuing to support those who really do need us to hold them up and offer our protection so <i>they </i>can rest, and continue to take the lead. We need everyone to be all in for everyone else, no excuses. It's the only way we build a world worth living in for future generations, and really...if we're not here for that, what the hell are we here for?<br /></span></p><p><span class="d2edcug0 hpfvmrgz qv66sw1b c1et5uql rrkovp55 a8c37x1j keod5gw0 nxhoafnm aigsh9s9 d3f4x2em fe6kdd0r mau55g9w c8b282yb iv3no6db jq4qci2q a3bd9o3v knj5qynh oo9gr5id hzawbc8m" dir="auto"><br /></span></p><p><span class="d2edcug0 hpfvmrgz qv66sw1b c1et5uql rrkovp55 a8c37x1j keod5gw0 nxhoafnm aigsh9s9 d3f4x2em fe6kdd0r mau55g9w c8b282yb iv3no6db jq4qci2q a3bd9o3v knj5qynh oo9gr5id hzawbc8m" dir="auto">peace ~<br /></span></p><p><span class="d2edcug0 hpfvmrgz qv66sw1b c1et5uql rrkovp55 a8c37x1j keod5gw0 nxhoafnm aigsh9s9 d3f4x2em fe6kdd0r mau55g9w c8b282yb iv3no6db jq4qci2q a3bd9o3v knj5qynh oo9gr5id hzawbc8m" dir="auto"><br /></span></p><p><span class="d2edcug0 hpfvmrgz qv66sw1b c1et5uql rrkovp55 a8c37x1j keod5gw0 nxhoafnm aigsh9s9 d3f4x2em fe6kdd0r mau55g9w c8b282yb iv3no6db jq4qci2q a3bd9o3v knj5qynh oo9gr5id hzawbc8m" dir="auto">m<br /></span></p><p><span class="d2edcug0 hpfvmrgz qv66sw1b c1et5uql rrkovp55 a8c37x1j keod5gw0 nxhoafnm aigsh9s9 d3f4x2em fe6kdd0r mau55g9w c8b282yb iv3no6db jq4qci2q a3bd9o3v knj5qynh oo9gr5id hzawbc8m" dir="auto"><br /></span></p><p><span class="d2edcug0 hpfvmrgz qv66sw1b c1et5uql rrkovp55 a8c37x1j keod5gw0 nxhoafnm aigsh9s9 d3f4x2em fe6kdd0r mau55g9w c8b282yb iv3no6db jq4qci2q a3bd9o3v knj5qynh oo9gr5id hzawbc8m" dir="auto">previous Blog Blasts for Peace:<br /></span></p><p><span class="d2edcug0 hpfvmrgz qv66sw1b c1et5uql rrkovp55 a8c37x1j keod5gw0 nxhoafnm aigsh9s9 d3f4x2em fe6kdd0r mau55g9w c8b282yb iv3no6db jq4qci2q a3bd9o3v knj5qynh oo9gr5id hzawbc8m" dir="auto"><a href="https://theunusedportion.blogspot.com/2010/11/dona-nobis-pacem.html" target="_blank">2010</a>, <a href="https://theunusedportion.blogspot.com/2011/11/dona-nobis-pacem-blogblast-for-peace.html" target="_blank">2011</a>, <a href="https://theunusedportion.blogspot.com/2012/11/blogblast-for-peace-2012.html" target="_blank">2012</a>, <a href="https://theunusedportion.blogspot.com/2013/11/dona-nobis-pacem-blogblast-for-peace.html" target="_blank">2013</a>, <a href="https://theunusedportion.blogspot.com/2018/11/donna-nobis-pacemnovember-4-2018.html" target="_blank">2018</a>, <a href="https://theunusedportion.blogspot.com/2019/11/dona-nobis-pacem-blog-blast-for-peace.html" target="_blank">2019</a><br /></span></p>Mama Pajamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10278474039105398842noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2740055889978712690.post-22869040148523069682020-08-16T21:33:00.004-04:002020-08-18T11:44:21.254-04:00Terrapin Portal<p><span data-offset-key="5t3s5-0-0"><span data-text="true">about a month ago, I was driving down one of our main local routes into the nearest small city when I noticed something on the side of the road that looked like a turtle on its back. even though I was traveling at 45mph, and on my way to an appointment, I had an overwhelming desire to stop and turn around, to help the poor thing. ever since I was little I've had this deep sense of sadness come over me whenever I pass a dead or dying critter on the road, and as I live in what's considered to be a rural area of NY, I see a lot of critters on or near the streets I drive on, and I take pains to avoid hitting them with my car. over the past few weeks alone I've seen/avoided porcupines, baby and adult foxes, baby and adult raccoons, frogs & toads, mice, chipmunks, squirrels, and the ubiquitous deer. so seeing what appeared to be a turtle on it's back on the side of a four lane highway broke my heart, but I needed to get where I was going, vowing to myself (and the turtle) that if it was still there on my way back, I'd go and see what I could do to help, hoping some other kind soul might stop and rescue it before then. </span></span></p><p><span data-offset-key="5t3s5-0-0"><span data-text="true"> </span></span><span data-offset-key="5t3s5-0-0"><span data-text="true"></span></span></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhH8pnMNKXRZSKx3jzZmJn0j3_-CqZ1GkxOrRghHEWJ3upK2jxL2f6KO7SolxGNK-vW_jgqOGt5SCuzgOQoDPasKxvqdhqV07ON0F3mx-tfpn4Mob4RaMVbpn7BPtm0_thMy3L8AKy5oH93/s299/index6.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="168" data-original-width="299" height="224" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhH8pnMNKXRZSKx3jzZmJn0j3_-CqZ1GkxOrRghHEWJ3upK2jxL2f6KO7SolxGNK-vW_jgqOGt5SCuzgOQoDPasKxvqdhqV07ON0F3mx-tfpn4Mob4RaMVbpn7BPtm0_thMy3L8AKy5oH93/w400-h224/index6.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">not 'my' turtle - an image from the internet<br /></td></tr></tbody></table><p></p><p><span data-offset-key="5t3s5-0-0"><span data-text="true"> </span></span></p><p><span data-offset-key="5t3s5-0-0"><span data-text="true">on my way back, I slowed down and searched the opposite side of the road for the turtle, and saw it - still on its back in the same spot. I pulled into the parking lot of a shop and got out to inspect it, and it was most definitely dead. I felt bad for not getting to it sooner. so, for whatever reason or feeling compelled me to do it, I took a large wad of napkins out of my glove compartment, picked up the dead turtle, placed it gently in my trunk, and brought it home with me. while I found an appropriate spot to bury it, I told it how sorry I was that it had been hit in the road, and died alone on its back in the hot sun. I wondered where it was from, where it had been going, and assured it that I was digging it a nice, cool hole in the damp earth for it rest in, and be devoured. I asked if it wouldn't mind having its shell preserved as a scared item while wishing it a peaceful journey, then covered it over with dirt, and marked the spot so I could find it again in about a month. during that time, I chose to learn a bit about turtles, how and where they live, breed, and die, and how best to clean and preserve one's shell.<br /></span></span></p><p><span data-offset-key="5t3s5-0-0"><span data-text="true"> </span></span></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4hpSWwG_Z1vECpv9bNLj0AyXhsVHGlFU_hPhX4_myfExXCU-R811dBbmTCVKCF4HiltVkBvuv-YxnQUPXvXo2DXVG2N1tZCPA78i0uEVEMKrgVglQk3K7Odro6enNl0BIB1xPXjMY1lhU/s2048/20200815_131215.jpeg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1229" height="328" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4hpSWwG_Z1vECpv9bNLj0AyXhsVHGlFU_hPhX4_myfExXCU-R811dBbmTCVKCF4HiltVkBvuv-YxnQUPXvXo2DXVG2N1tZCPA78i0uEVEMKrgVglQk3K7Odro6enNl0BIB1xPXjMY1lhU/w197-h328/20200815_131215.jpeg" width="197" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">tiny turtle vertebrae <br /></td></tr></tbody></table><p></p><p><span data-offset-key="5t3s5-0-0"><span data-text="true"> </span></span></p><p><span data-offset-key="5t3s5-0-0"><span data-text="true">this morning, with prayers for its safe return to Void, I dug up the grave, and didn't find the shell I had hoped would be there. I wondered what could have happened to it...fox? coyote? cat? I sat in the shade of the pines for a minute contemplating, when I spotted a turtle shell - on its back - a few feet away, through some close-grown trees whose branches formed a barrier I couldn't penetrate. how did it get there? did some other critter really dig it up to eat? in any case, the shell was empty, so I tried to get around the trees one way, and failed. I knew I couldn't get around the other side of them, so I tried going through - no luck, too dense. I got out my tree lopper and cut a hole through the dead branches just large enough to force myself through, pushed my way around the live branches to reach the shell, and brought it back with me. the dead branches caught at my dress, scratched me on my arms and face, got tangled in my hair, and I had to yank myself free, knowing that leaving some skin and hair behind was a fair trade in this exchange. for a reptile that is considered in several cultures to be representative of portals and doorways, this was as it should be. </span></span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span data-offset-key="5t3s5-0-0"><span data-text="true"><span data-offset-key="5t3s5-0-0"><span data-text="true"> </span></span></span></span></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgk9ytgn7OfmR6w6y10LtwMVWwwdJAeHkxGsXfeLjISD9p9-J40QhUNwl09y5PZJCUaO5UHFUf0Wp-TA8e6n_xYqyVZru_qayFPBv2O7XAS7U2bAjCJ89B9waaI1m5dJ6V1l-FWDSCD8ReE/s259/akupppp.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="194" data-original-width="259" height="304" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgk9ytgn7OfmR6w6y10LtwMVWwwdJAeHkxGsXfeLjISD9p9-J40QhUNwl09y5PZJCUaO5UHFUf0Wp-TA8e6n_xYqyVZru_qayFPBv2O7XAS7U2bAjCJ89B9waaI1m5dJ6V1l-FWDSCD8ReE/w405-h304/akupppp.jpg" width="405" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr></tbody></table><p></p><p><span data-offset-key="5t3s5-0-0"><span data-text="true"><span data-offset-key="5t3s5-0-0"><span data-text="true">as shore creatures, turtles are seen as a bridge between heaven and earth - land and water. they are prevalent in the myths of many cultures around the world, and </span></span>symbolic of good health, long life, perseverance, protection, self reliance, tenacity, slow progress</span></span><span data-offset-key="5t3s5-0-0"><span data-text="true"><span data-offset-key="5t3s5-0-0"><span data-text="true">, luck, strength, hope, steadfast tranquility, and are considered a good omen in many world religions. in several indigenous </span></span></span></span><span data-offset-key="5t3s5-0-0"><span data-text="true">American traditions turtles </span></span><span data-offset-key="5t3s5-0-0"><span data-text="true"><span data-offset-key="5t3s5-0-0"><span data-text="true">represent Mother Earth as "Turtle Island", the turtle that carries the world on its back. </span></span></span></span><span data-offset-key="5t3s5-0-0"><span data-text="true"><span data-offset-key="5t3s5-0-0"><span data-text="true">most
turtles have 13 'scutes' (scales) on their 'carapace' (top shell), which has been likened to the 13 full moons in a year, and relates to menses and motherhood.</span></span> turtle shells have traditionally been used by some indigenous cultures to dispense medicines, and to make rattles.</span></span></p><p><span data-offset-key="5t3s5-0-0"><span data-text="true"> </span></span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span data-offset-key="5t3s5-0-0"><span data-text="true"></span></span></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuKYkUzVVAT2FexHa8IXgrwkWwP6bfXg8H-qsRLL8IvWjHKE81uk75B2B8V5aOdKaj_eHTWl1t1NwBBjwAn9QSo5CstEKqsTGVLK_DXMOHMmWBGltsEZULQ4TjlcWYISKU3uwuRNt_6hyphenhyphenS/s2048/20200815_132529.jpeg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1229" data-original-width="2048" height="307" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuKYkUzVVAT2FexHa8IXgrwkWwP6bfXg8H-qsRLL8IvWjHKE81uk75B2B8V5aOdKaj_eHTWl1t1NwBBjwAn9QSo5CstEKqsTGVLK_DXMOHMmWBGltsEZULQ4TjlcWYISKU3uwuRNt_6hyphenhyphenS/w512-h307/20200815_132529.jpeg" width="512" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">can you see the 13 scutes on this carapace?<br /></td></tr></tbody></table><span data-offset-key="5t3s5-0-0"><span data-text="true"> </span></span><p></p><p>I found this piece of information which I just loved so much I had to share it in its entirety (the relevant website can be found at the end of this post): "Dr. Tami Jollie-Trottier, PhD, a member of the Turtle Mountain Band of
Chippewa Indians and a North Dakota-based clinical psychologist
specializing in indigenous behavioral health and healing <span data-offset-key="5t3s5-0-0"><span data-text="true"><span class="ILfuVd"><span class="hgKElc">has developed “Turtle Medicine”
(Mickinock Mishkiikii), an innovative approach to post-traumatic
healing in which spiritual and cultural symbolism and Anishinaabe animal
teachings are used to explore healing through art, writing and
storytelling". she believes that </span></span></span></span>"westernized medical intervention alone cannot produce the level of wellness required, after a personal trauma,
to return to the healthy state of mind needed to function in today’s
world", and that
"healing powers can be found within an individual’s own spiritual,
cultural and creative energies".</p><p> </p><p style="text-align: center;"><span data-offset-key="5t3s5-0-0"><span data-text="true"><span data-offset-key="5t3s5-0-0"><span data-text="true"></span></span></span></span></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVM7V8umzI0GiMJXetX7Bf9eF8izPxEx0PgmKGumLEdDq7YrVn_fjLYgMCmHj-m1Y5r3geIFGoFVTyxlJf3XUD-Bs6JIj2AZ1fCGYAzVJazz2_n56elIuRmLTM3gatcXagVFg2LmYddWrA/s268/real+akupp.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="188" data-original-width="268" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVM7V8umzI0GiMJXetX7Bf9eF8izPxEx0PgmKGumLEdDq7YrVn_fjLYgMCmHj-m1Y5r3geIFGoFVTyxlJf3XUD-Bs6JIj2AZ1fCGYAzVJazz2_n56elIuRmLTM3gatcXagVFg2LmYddWrA/s0/real+akupp.jpg" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Akupara<br /></td></tr></tbody></table><span data-offset-key="5t3s5-0-0"><span data-text="true"><span data-offset-key="5t3s5-0-0"><span data-text="true"> </span></span></span></span><p></p><p><span data-offset-key="5t3s5-0-0"><span data-text="true"><span data-offset-key="5t3s5-0-0"><span data-text="true">in Hinduism, the god Kurma
(Sanskrit for tortoise) is one of the 10 avatars of Vishnu, and in that belief system, the world is said to stand on the backs of four elephants, who in turn stand on the back of the tortoise Akupara. here, they represent truth
because they carry the world on their back, and speak of both the journey and the
destination. turtles remind us to be aware of our perceptions about time and our relationship to it while awakening both our physical and spiritual senses. there is a certain </span></span></span></span><span data-offset-key="5t3s5-0-0"><span data-text="true"><span data-offset-key="5t3s5-0-0"><span data-text="true">safety in knowing they can survive hard times, and the lessons they are said to teach </span></span>are that we should stay faithful to our paths, and be at peace with our choices and decisions. they encourage us to </span></span><span data-offset-key="5t3s5-0-0"><span data-text="true"><span data-offset-key="5t3s5-0-0"><span data-text="true">release the negative things that hold us back, and remind us to use our heads to right ourselves. </span></span></span></span><span data-offset-key="5t3s5-0-0"><span data-text="true"><span data-offset-key="5t3s5-0-0"><span data-text="true"> "pay attention," they say, "abundance is
available to us in the right time - the Earth provides us with everything we need."</span></span></span></span></p><p><span data-offset-key="5t3s5-0-0"><span data-text="true"><span data-offset-key="5t3s5-0-0"><span data-text="true"> </span></span></span></span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span data-offset-key="5t3s5-0-0"><span data-text="true"><span data-offset-key="5t3s5-0-0"><span data-text="true"></span></span></span></span></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgq4BlmsKe9Ltfh1fkxdebKHkH9OkfOvMxExOz1Mk32LyJd7Jnm3y_B6i6DgLywmEfTj6xJYicVlHvPtboLqLk66zwrlhzIm4K5Z_0GuF50qfFIKlQgRlXcdfi8BB-zPjcr1Fm5TB7hPKpI/s2048/20200815_131337.jpeg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1229" height="512" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgq4BlmsKe9Ltfh1fkxdebKHkH9OkfOvMxExOz1Mk32LyJd7Jnm3y_B6i6DgLywmEfTj6xJYicVlHvPtboLqLk66zwrlhzIm4K5Z_0GuF50qfFIKlQgRlXcdfi8BB-zPjcr1Fm5TB7hPKpI/w307-h512/20200815_131337.jpeg" width="307" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">so beautiful...<br /></td></tr></tbody></table><span data-offset-key="5t3s5-0-0"><span data-text="true"><span data-offset-key="5t3s5-0-0"><span data-text="true"> </span></span></span></span><p></p><p><span data-offset-key="5t3s5-0-0"><span data-text="true"><span data-offset-key="5t3s5-0-0"><span data-text="true">to be practical, and knowing that many reptiles carry salmonella, I researched ways to clean the dear turtle's shell, which I did by
soaking it in a solution of salt, baking powder and water for an
hour, then rinsing it off and soaking it in a solution of vinegar and
water for another hour. then I scrubbed it with soap and water, inside
and out with a toothbrush, and set it to dry in the sun. I'll
probably put a coat of varnish on it to protect it, so I can keep it on
my altar as a sacred item, and a reminder of all the good lessons listed above. in my searching, I also found some vague references to supposedly ancient tales </span></span></span></span>coming to us from China and South America of "three legged flying iron turtles" and a sky-god-bringer-of-corn, killed in the underworld, whose resurrection is depicted by his emerging from a turtle shell. what do you think? <br /></p><p style="text-align: center;"> </p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9VnQr_tg5yGMtyyS3Z8336WZBxrrFlVHvd1MrrEkh_WB6MaeQXXr1AsOrHLeskUd4AAlfWGx6nZkNS_ILK2Sfm7Wax01stHTb6D4XiV2o47V2b6bBhNxCJE9UxCaNcy1vU4Of3dHr07n1/s305/skygod+of+corn.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="165" data-original-width="305" height="206" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9VnQr_tg5yGMtyyS3Z8336WZBxrrFlVHvd1MrrEkh_WB6MaeQXXr1AsOrHLeskUd4AAlfWGx6nZkNS_ILK2Sfm7Wax01stHTb6D4XiV2o47V2b6bBhNxCJE9UxCaNcy1vU4Of3dHr07n1/w381-h206/skygod+of+corn.jpg" width="381" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Hun Huhnapu, resurrected as a Mayan maize deity? <br /></td></tr></tbody></table><p></p><p><br /></p><p>further reading and references: <br /></p><p> <a href="https://www.drtamiredwindwellness.com/bio">https://www.drtamiredwindwellness.com/bio</a></p><p> <a href="http://www.native-languages.org/legends-turtle.htm">http://www.native-languages.org/legends-turtle.htm</a></p><p> <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cultural_depictions_of_turtles">https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cultural_depictions_of_turtles</a></p><p> </p><p> <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/World_Turtle">https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/World_Turtle</a></p><p> </p><p style="text-align: center;"></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9PednmYhhLPeJiYi9CeyiQIWjK5Q7GL_cwemqQQFGywQWujMLkdNNJULxPFOWrHME14JBa3tLUPoJmkFgNMvSrMkUhLgxUt4702vE8PZ2UI8KZmvlXdligUUpMUKEm0KZ4J9mFUPDqRvZ/s2048/20200815_143721.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1229" data-original-width="2048" height="307" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9PednmYhhLPeJiYi9CeyiQIWjK5Q7GL_cwemqQQFGywQWujMLkdNNJULxPFOWrHME14JBa3tLUPoJmkFgNMvSrMkUhLgxUt4702vE8PZ2UI8KZmvlXdligUUpMUKEm0KZ4J9mFUPDqRvZ/w512-h307/20200815_143721.jpg" width="512" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr></tbody></table> <p></p>Mama Pajamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10278474039105398842noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2740055889978712690.post-63098184303926612622020-07-29T16:01:00.001-04:002020-07-29T16:02:12.708-04:00"Gawtcha"<div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1jC6ufCz7VnvWDoILwG1uDZRZSacNQC80xtWmZ81tFj-1qrzggOtnBj-iSLXwIVeTQrRksZ3lfhSoyHZEpWZo4fGcHI06J5tadaq1FxT8tNGNWFHzopkR-XA93cYwPyoZ6TOz7wbID0rf/s387/gawtcha.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="387" data-original-width="236" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1jC6ufCz7VnvWDoILwG1uDZRZSacNQC80xtWmZ81tFj-1qrzggOtnBj-iSLXwIVeTQrRksZ3lfhSoyHZEpWZo4fGcHI06J5tadaq1FxT8tNGNWFHzopkR-XA93cYwPyoZ6TOz7wbID0rf/w244-h400/gawtcha.jpg" width="244" /></a></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>Feeling a need to visit with Brian Froud and Jessica Macbeth's <i>The Faeries' Oracle</i>, but not having a deep connection to the deck or knowledge of how to work with it, I went with my gut and playfully swirled the whole deck out in front of me in a pile and picked a random card from the center with no more of a question in my mind than a general read, and to meet the fae who chose to greet me. I drew Gawtcha - who appealed to me right off because they're blue, with sticks poking out of their spiky hair. I like their slender fingers and pointy ears, and the way their large, curious eye is peering out from behind an elegant hand. so I was surprised to read "Sudden shock. Unexpected events. Rude Awakenings" in the card description, suggesting any number of possible disasters - car trouble, money trouble, other kinds of trouble - while also acknowledging the possibility of a small windfall (not all luck is bad luck - good things smack us in the back of the head out of the blue, too). <br /></div><div><br /></div><div> on one level, this card is telling us we need/are due for a cosmic smack, because we still haven't learned to trust our instincts, and that we have to regain our balance more quickly when those destabilizing experiences come along - we also need to be cautious not to lose ourselves in them, good or bad. the card scared me in the sense that it speaks of upheaval, of shaking up staid structures we build in our consciousness and realities, and even though I complain about a lot of the mundane aspects of my life (just like everyone else), I've lived such a transient existence that I hardly manage to get any kind of routine going before circumstance comes along to tear it down, so my first reaction was, "nooooo, I've barely recovered from the <i>last </i>'growth' I went through," and all Gawtcha sees is the ungrateful recipient of their kind and generous gifts (it's hinted that the poor faerie numbs the pain of our human indifference with strong drink, as evidenced by their bloodshot eye). on the other hand, there are a great many 'staid structures' in our modern world that could do with some 'upheaval'.<br /></div><div><br /></div><div>while "the sudden, often violent, breakdowns of existing structures, habits, patterns, and/or attitudes" (from the <i>Oracle </i>guidebook) in the summer of 2020 is a long overdue conversation that America has been needing to have with itself for Far too long, the card (or the fae energy associated with it) also speaks to my personal journey of being "confined by our own self-imposed limitations that may include the desire for comfort and security", and how we can grow into our liberation once we manage to break through those barriers. we are encouraged not to fall back on our old ways, but to build something new with the pieces, and to leave room for future additions.<br /></div><div><br /></div><div>being who I am (human - it's a function of our minds that we imagine catastrophe so we have a chance to survive it when it strikes), I went to the dark side immediately and thought "oh no, I hope I don't get hurt while running!" then just as quickly chided myself for even thinking such a thing, and wondered what kind of <i>positive</i> surprise might be lurking around the corner...a second stimulus check? universal basic income? but the specter of dark tiding had been there, lurking in the back of my mind, and it was a certain kind of week. I had setbacks, unexplained (or unnecessary) cancellations, financial inconveniences and pressures, I had two 'bad runs' in a row and a slew of aches and pains...but I also received a surprise gift from a kind friend that brought me much joy. so what is this card telling me really?<br /></div><div><br /></div><div>"let your baggage go. find your balance, and keep moving forward. you have all the information you need to proceed, and ample experience in this world to know how to 'roll with it'. you will rise to every challenge, even though the suddenness with which they descend may be alarming. it's a necessary evil that must be navigated to learn and grow, and increase your ability to hold space for further understanding. welcome the opportunity with grace, and it might leave you a little less worse for wear." that's my personal interpretation. in my life right now, I've been making great strides towards moving into that new consciousness, challenging myself to leave the baggage where it lies, and take up my own best interest as a guidepost to finding my way through the discomfort and insecurity of setting my former self alight (again) to create new work from the ashes. the same goes for our larger world - each of us is responsible for finding our new place within that discomforting insecurity that helps our friends and neighbors rise up, and to roll with any upheaval as a growing process that needs to break a few things to break <i>through</i> a few things. if you're low on supply, remember how beautiful a Phoenix can be, give it what it needs to thrive, and it will bring you along for the ride! good luck, seekers, and be safe out there!</div><div><br /></div><div>💙 💜 💙</div>Mama Pajamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10278474039105398842noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2740055889978712690.post-78433292757963599622020-01-01T21:39:00.000-05:002020-01-01T21:39:11.016-05:00Memory Jar 2019<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxJNsKkRkciS40oVum7XDOBi1Mz3pEvIcwfPLS2zDOCd1lsUjE5QsPjhiSaJhofiRfTQsG_awpTtO2K16vY6GkF1a8UFrFXZ6ZGxHN3oBKSjMzYBVeHO0bRwdomfYlP3AjqNbkl7JXUzo4/s1600/memory+jar.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="1280" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxJNsKkRkciS40oVum7XDOBi1Mz3pEvIcwfPLS2zDOCd1lsUjE5QsPjhiSaJhofiRfTQsG_awpTtO2K16vY6GkF1a8UFrFXZ6ZGxHN3oBKSjMzYBVeHO0bRwdomfYlP3AjqNbkl7JXUzo4/s320/memory+jar.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
it's that magical time again - the beginning of a new year! sort of...being Jewish, I also celebrate the 'new year' in September, but Rosh Hashana, with it's round challah, apples, and honey is a completely different animal than the balloons, music, silly hats, noise makers, champagne, fireworks, and ball drops that grace the stage of many a December 31st celebration in the USA. as has become our tradition - 6th year in a row! - my young man and I read out the memories we saved up during the year and relive our best times as a way to keep the positivity flowing, and our hearts grateful for all our many blessings. this year, our Memory Jar (pictured above) got packed up sometime in March, and just yesterday, we
dug it out of the box we still hadn't unpacked it from and laughed,
because there were maybe two little slips of paper in there. then we
set to writing down what we could remember in retrospect to keep the practice going. here are our respective good memories ~<br />
<br />
<u>him:</u> <br />
playing in the Ramones show<br />
the beginning of wrestling season <br />
new Logitech headset<br />
getting Minecraft<br />
new gaming keyboard & mouse<br />
getting an 'A' in English<br />
defeating Borderlands 2 <br />
defeating 99% of the side quests in Borderlands 2<br />
Nintendo Switch<br />
<br />
<u>me:</u><br />
first Friday <a href="https://theunusedportion.blogspot.com/2019/01/shabbat-shalom.html" target="_blank">Shabbat</a> <br />
'day of pampering' by local adult group - facial & pedicure done by willing male servants <br />
<a href="https://theunusedportion.blogspot.com/2019/01/b-is-for.html" target="_blank">my birthday</a> full blood wolf supermoon eclipse planetary alignment snowstorm!<br />
perimenopause<br />
while the forced move sucked hard, the new place is good...ESPECIALLY THE HEAT!<br />
Drum Gods (Teen's show)<br />
<a href="https://theunusedportion.blogspot.com/2019/04/p-is-for.html" target="_blank">Passover!</a> <br />
pics of the old place<br />
lunch with C<br />
Garage Rock (Teen's show)<br />
buying legal weed <br />
roast chicken & veggies<br />
lots of great cooking - soups, naan, marinated chicken burrito things...<br />
P7: Planetarium - planetary/tarot workshop<br />Ramones! (Teen's show)<br />
MILKSHAKE!!! (private joke between the Teen & I)<br />
Hannukah! <br />
new snowboots <br />
new-to-me laptop<br />
TALON (local band)<br />
Firing Squad (local band)<br />
The Adam Hendricks Experience NYE party (local band)<br />
moving into a new 'me'<br />
sharing traditions with my son<br />
<br />
so, as is fitting for someone his age, the Teen's list is mostly about gaming, with a nod in the direction of his musical endeavors, and to his team sport. I have no recollection of him getting an 'A' in English (neither does his report card), but I'll let it pass, because maybe he did at the time he put the slip in the jar. it's too bad he didn't spend as much time making memories with friends this year as he did in the past, but we've been through some transitions in terms of our friendships this year, and the kids he hangs out with these days mostly interact through their computers, in the gaming world. it bothers me that they don't spend as much time outside with each other as my friends and I did 'back in the day', but it's a different world, and I'm doing my best to roll with it. though my need for him to interact with people 'in real life' was the impetus for me making him come out to the show we attended last night, and he not only had a good time listening to great music, he had fun hanging out with one friend in particular, and got lots of positive reinforcement from the other kids he knows who were also at the gig that they not only enjoy his company, but they also appreciate his musical ability, and like playing music with him. one of the kids in the band said that if he knew my son was coming to the show, he'd have asked him to do a song with them. so sweet! <br /><br />
for myself, I enjoyed making the effort to mark the Jewish Sabbath each week by having what we called 'Friday Night Dinner' in my parents' house growing up, which I managed to continue throughout the year, with a few exceptions for the Teen's gigs and sporting events. the 'pampering event' was held just before my 50th birthday, so it was nice to have taken that opportunity to get a bit of attention paid to myself, as I'm not in a financial position to be able to visit a spa, so this was the best I could do, and it was indulgent enough to satisfy that desire. and while ultimately, I spent my milestone birthday at home during a snowstorm, I had the foresight to pack in the supplies I needed to make it fun, and I enjoyed the crazy energy of it a great deal. you may have noticed that I added perimenopause to my good memories - that's because I'm Really Enjoying not getting my period every month anymore, and while that makes it all the more annoying when it does show up, it's been a Great transition for me, and a reminder to pay more attention to certain aspects of who I am as I age, and live in tune with who I'm still becoming. more women should feel encouraged to embrace this time in their lives with joy, in my opinion - it's truly magical!<br />
<br />
moving out of our home of 5 years because the State took over the property we lived on through eminent domain was a rough blow, and a hard patch to navigate that nearly drove me over the edge, but we survived it, and have settled into our new place as well as 'transients' like ourselves can manage. the Teen is still in the same school, which is really all I hoped for out of the whole situation, and the apartment is nice, if out of our price range (the State was required to help me out with rent and bills, as there were no apartments that I could afford available to rent at the time they needed us to move, so...I don't feel like this story is over, but we're enjoying it while we can). even still, we did manage our first Passover Seder, such as it was, and it was good enough for us. also, since we were going to be moving, I made sure to take hundreds of pictures of the gorgeous flowers, trees, and shrubs that we had lived with during our time on that property, as well as the river, and as many of the animals as I could before they're all destroyed and/or displaced.<br />
<br />
my son once again played in a variety of Rock Academy shows, which I enjoy to no end - they are so much fun to attend, especially when our friends manage to come out and join me on the dance floor! it seems so weird to me that I only managed to have lunch with one friend this entire year, and I'd like to make sure to spend more quality time with people I care about in the future. buying legal cannabis might not seem all that special to many, but given the history of prohibition in this country, and the war that has been waged against people of color as a result of it, being able to walk into a store and purchase recreational marijuana was Huge for me - I'll have to find the time and money to do it again! I cooked up a lot of good food this year, moving slowly and steadily towards my becoming more competent in the kitchen, and developing my skills in not only the cooking of foods, but of planning healthy and delicious meals for us more frequently, and with increasing ease. another highlight of my year was being gifted a one-week workshop in studying planetary energies, and working with them through dreams and tarot - a kind of work I used to do more regularly, but fell out of practice with as the pressures of earning a living while single-parenting took over most of my life, and squeezed out most of my hobbies and interests for those of my child. it was wonderfully renewing, and a large step towards remembering who I was before I was 'Mom', and helping to center me into my new 'becoming' as a woman past her childbearing years - what I like to call 'croning'. <br />
<br />
'MILKSHAKE!!!" is a joke that happened between the Teen and I after one of his performances that made us both laugh hysterically for longer than was necessary, so while it's a bit inappropriate, it's funny to us, and definitely deserves a place on our list, because that kind of sheer silliness is an absolute necessity in our lives, and I fully support inappropriate raucous laughter as long as it isn't hurting anyone. for Hannukah this year, we both got gifts that we wanted and needed, and those gifts brought us both joy, which is also something I support experiencing as often as possible, and I appreciate that my friends were willing to step in and help us out with the funds we needed to attain some of those gifts for ourselves (charity and kindness are also endeavors I readily support). I was also able to attend several shows recently of local bands that I really enjoy listening to and seeing perform, and I feel thankful for being able to share that with my son, too. more of that in the new year, hopefully, as well! finally, I feel incredibly blessed and fortunate to have built up some traditions for my son to look back on, and hopefully appreciate both now, and when he (someday) has a family of his own. we have such a strong bond, and even though his teenagey-ness sometimes works my last nerve, I'm really proud of who he is, and the person he continues to become, and it's sometimes hard to believe that he's so awesome because of the ways I've chosen to make him a priority in my life, even though I constantly wish I could do more for him, or that we had more money, or that he had an active father in his life. all I can do is press on, and keep doing what I can, and do my best to do even better. <br />
<br />
I know a lot of people who had a really awful year, and are happy to see 2019 dead and buried, but all in all, it could have been a lot worse - even given the stress of our move - and I feel like I experienced a lot of growth in positive directions, which is always welcome. so, the best of everything to everyone reading, and I hope you have a great 2020 - I'm already looking forward to a visit from a long-term friend whom I haven't seen in decades in a few weeks, my next birthday, and the Teen's 16th (oh boy...). Happy New Year, all! Baxtalo Nevo Bersh! <br />
<br />
<br />
Memory Jar posts past:<br />
<a href="https://theunusedportion.blogspot.com/2015/02/memory-jar-2014.html" target="_blank">2014</a><br />
<a href="https://theunusedportion.blogspot.com/2015/12/memory-jar-2015.html" target="_blank">2015</a><br />
<a href="https://theunusedportion.blogspot.com/2017/01/memory-jar-2016.html" target="_blank">2016</a><br />
<a href="https://theunusedportion.blogspot.com/2018/01/memory-jar-2017.html" target="_blank">2017</a> <br />
<a href="https://theunusedportion.blogspot.com/2019/01/memory-jar-2018.html" target="_blank">2018</a>Mama Pajamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10278474039105398842noreply@blogger.com0