in order to prepare and perform ritual tonight for the full moon, I'm immediately stuck, thinking "what can use to cleanse my aura before, or use for anointing myself after?" and then, "I know I have homemade rose powder in my altar box (along with an aura cleansing tool), it's just not accessible at the moment!" frustrating. so I go out to the meerspeset to see if the moon is visible in the sky, and There She Is - appearing in a break in the clouds, and as always, taking my breath away. there. I can just cleanse my aura in moonlight, and use fresh, clean, moon water for anointing myself after I've done my ritual. we make do with what we have in the moment, yes?
so I fling my arms out wide and facing east, turn myself around in the moonlight to the south, west, and north, opening myself up to - and inviting in - all the loving energies flowing around and through me. I ask them to help remove all energy and emotion that isn't mine, and doesn't belong to me, so that I feel uplifted, my heart open, and the energies I want to work with can move freely through me. I thank them for joining me as I endeavor to stand in my own light.
to cleanse and prepare my space, I light my Shabbat candles and use my regular, everyday broom to sweep the meerpeset while envisioning a glowing, healing light charging the area with loving energy, peace, hope, and positivity. I sing a little 'thank you' song about cleansing my space with love and gratitude as it begins to feel magical and protected.
taking my bowl of water in both hands, I state out loud the things I would like to release, clear, and receive some clarity around in my life, such as anger, resentment, and more mundane issues pertaining to my flow of financial abundance - or lack thereof - this month in particular, and in my life in general. I then sit with my candles and bowl of water, in my protected space, and once again call to my ancestors (and others) to help center and ground my energy while connecting to my Higher Being. I bring my hands to my heart and speak to that energy center in my body, and to my third eye, so that I may be better guided by my insight and intuition in my meditations.
opening the case where I keep my tarot cards, the first deck I see is the Thoth deck, which feels just right for tonight's reading. settling back into my lounge chair under the light of the full moon - and the energy of the lion's gate portal - I begin to shuffle...awkwardly. this deck is still new to me and I've hardly used it since I got it because it's slightly different from the more popular and well-known decks, and requires (in my opinion) more study to be properly understood. so as I'm feeling the cards slip through my fingers from one hand to the other, I get a 'jumper', which I don't always work with. since my hands are small, I have several ways that I shuffle decks, and there are times when a card will align awkwardly, or slip out of place, so I'll just tuck it back in and keep on shuffling. this one dove all the way under my chair, face up, so I set it aside and went on with my shuffle until I was satisfied, and drew a card.
10 of Wands. curious. and the jumper was the Princess of Wands. even curiouser.
the 10 of Wands in the Crowley/Harris deck is called Oppression, and indicates that one has become detached from their spiritual sources, and that no matter how much force is used (implying too much force has already been used), it cannot be brought to bear on the situation at hand. feeling trapped where we can't experience life the way we want, with the flames having run rampant from lack of understanding, devouring one's self from within. failure against a strong opponent, revenge, cruelty, malice, and injustice.
the Princess of Wands is considered the Earth aspect of fire - two elements that tend to strengthen each other, yet this pairing is considered combustible, implying this Princess has a reactive personality. she is associated with the 'whims of the body', or the 'animal soul'; considered to be turning her back on the mundane to follow her passions and inspiration. she is energetic, vital, enthusiastic, and courageous, in no way afraid to express herself. she tends to be ungrounded, and subscribes to her own brand of justice which can run towards vengeance and cruelty. having that tiger by the tail can indicate setting one's self free from old fears and patterns by bringing them to the surface and conquering them, usually learning these lessons 'the hard way'. she represents the silence to which all things return, and is considered both permanent and non-existent. consuming all that come into her sphere, she is Lilith; the dark, mysterious Feminine, and her body is the fuel of the Sacred Fire.
wow. that has a lot of deeply personal meaning for me, which I will - believe it or not - keep to myself. but if you know me...you may, as they say, Know.
I let the water sit out overnight to absorb all the good moonlight it could, and just before dawn, I thanked it for soaking up the things I wished to release, clear, and gain clarity on while my intentions begin to weave themselves into the fabric of my life in a peaceful, calm, and loving way. I released those intentions from the water, and returned it to the Earth by pouring it through the drain in the meerpeset to run into the ground below to purify it.
skipping the anointing as I already poured out the water, I once again brought my hands to my heart center and third eye while repeating the mantra 'I am love, I am loved, I radiate love'. there happened to be some lime seeds hanging out in the bowl I used for the moon water, and before I poured it out, I took the seeds out of it and set them aside for planting. we'll see how that goes.
Shabbat Shalom, and Blessed Be!
