Wednesday, January 16, 2019

B is for...


anyone's birthday in particular?  why yes, thank you for asking, MY birthday.  my 50th birthday, to be specific.  guess what I'm doing?  NOTHING!  yaaay!  do you know why?  because I don't have any money, or people who want to celebrate with me.  well, that's not entirely true - I'm sure several of the people I consider my closest friends would want to celebrate with me, they just don't live in the same state as me.  my 'best friend', as he's come to be known, lives just an hour away, and while he agreed to come spend the weekend, there is an impending snowstorm on the way, so I think that plan is better off cancelled.  because I was feeling conflicted about a party this year (who wants to throw a party where no one comes?  a point made moot by the oncoming storm), I looked up a few articles on celebrating one's 50th - and as is my nature, I searched both "worst 50th birthday ever", and "best 50th birthday ever".  here's what I took from what I found:


looking back ~

in looking back over the years, the person who was most present in my life during ALL of my birthdays was my Zayde - my maternal grandfather.  I was born two days before his 49th birthday, and he considered me his gift that year.  I won't go into all the reasons why, but for 42 years of my life, his was the voice I cherished most on my birthday.  we had a very special bond, and he would have been 99 this year for what we considered our shared celebration.  he was a wonderful man, my Zayde, and everyone in our family loved him deeply for his sweet nature, kindness, sense of justice, even-temper, humor, and generosity.  he is missed.

1977 maybe?

looking ahead ~

perspective is everything, isn't it?  I honestly feel lucky to have made it this far, given some of the choices I made (over and over again) as a younger person.  I wasn't a crazy thrill-seeker or hard-core partier, but I certainly courted a certain amount of danger, and some of the activities I took part in could have taken me out any number of ways, and I am thankful to have come out of all that mostly intact, with enough brain cells left to continue to enjoy a certain quality of life.  all I really wanted, in terms of a celebration, was to spend quality time with people who care about me.  so, it'll be me and the teen...and while he's my favorite person in all the world, that looks pretty much like every other day of my life, and the lack of departure from the ordinary to mark my day as 'special' is frankly a bit of a downer.  because it's a 'milestone', I really would have appreciated a little 'more than', rather than 'less than', this time around, but I will make the best of it, like I always do.


this guy opened his article with "I would never be able to count all the ways in which my 50th birthday was made entirely of suck, and was the worst birthday that I (or anyone, really) has ever had."  poor dude...he only wanted what the rest of us seem to want - good friends and good food - but he got neither (didn't explain why) along with what he considered other harbingers of doom, and swore not to forgive or forget any of it.  I don't think my day is going to be that bad, but I'm not holding up any great expectation, given the fact that I know in advance there won't be a houseful of friends, or a fancy dinner, and we may well get hammered by a huge storm that could knock out our power and heat.  so, yay to pre-emptive plans for a survivalist birthday, and making sure we have our emergency supplies on hand and at the ready, just in case.

since I found both articles - and therefore the whole endeavor - slightly unsatisfying, as neither one spoke directly to my experience (I'm neither a wealthy wife, nor a childless bachelor), I read one last post that looked at both sides of the issue by interviewing several different people at different stages in their lives, approaching milestone birthdays.  it focused more on embracing the opportunity for celebration, connection, and community:

  • 'ok, so everything hurts...have a party anyway!'
  • assess your present/set future goals
  • give gifts rather than receive them
  • don't bother
  • celebrate simply with immediate family  
  • task others to make the world a better place through monetary gifts 
  • get a 'retirement job'
  • enter sporting competitions for your new age group
  • enjoy a family dinner/long weekend with friends
  • travel/do things now

some of the things in this list are doable for me, such as goal-setting, not bothering, and celebrating simply with my son.  other things - having a party, gift-giving (with or without the social justice component), competing (I could, if I did anything athletic, but I don't), and traveling - are all out of the realm of what I can afford right now.  I had planned on the dinner/weekend with the bestie, but again, the weather got the better of us on that one.  honestly, if I had my 'druthers', I'd spend the whole weekend in a fancy spa, getting pampered, relaxing, sipping cocktails, and eating delicious food with maybe one or two other non-relative adults who might be my lovers, after having attended some event or other, like a show or concert, and partying like rockstars until dawn.

“Continue to develop all your modes of learning so as you grow older you may choose to use them selectively. Keep in mind that each chapter in life can be a masterpiece if we evolve, no matter our circumstances.” - Virginia Levin, Lee’s Summit, Mo., 90.

ALSO...and here's the kicker...there's some CRAZY astrological stuff going down (where do you think that monster snowstorm is coming from?)!  first of all, starting on the 17th, all the planets will go direct, with 5 of them in their home star sign!  this is auspicious for taking advantage of opportunities, and taking on new endeavors.  so be hopeful, and begin an adventure!  as if this weren't enough, there will also be (on my actual birth day)...hang on...a FULL BLOOD WOLF SUPERMOON LUNAR ECLIPSE!!!  holy frijoles!  "what the deuce is that," you may be asking?  well, it's a full moon, because that's just where the moon is in it's cycle right now.  it's a 'Wolf Moon', because that's just the name of the first full moon in January.  'supermoon' refers to it's proximity to Earth, which is obviously very close, hence the term 'super'.  it's a 'blood moon' because of the eclipse - when the Earth is directly between the Sun and the moon, all the sunrises and sunsets on our planet are reflected onto the moon's surface, and make it appear to glow red.  isn't that cool?!  sure, there might be some drama, as all of our shadowy sides are revealed, but there might also be a bit of romance, and a call to deepen our connection to community (there's that context, again, pay attention!).  for me, since it's my 50th birthday, I'm going with 'signs point to yes', to quote my Magic 8-Ball.

I hope you all have an amazing week, and are ready for our collective crazy weekend.  happy birthday to me, and thanks for joining me on my journey!

join us over at ABC-Wednesday to play along!



  1. Happy 50th! Birthday! Whooo-hooo! May your new trip around the sun be full of joy, happiness, love, peace, and wonder.

  2. Happy Birthday! 50 years is a milestone!!! Thanks for coming up with Best and Worst Birthday narratives.
    Nice to read about Full Blood Wolf Supermoon as well.

  3. A birthday indeed is special … still with very few friends nearby, no family what so ever... our celebrations are modest, Always. But the few friends we have nearby are here and we treat them like kings ;-)

    Happy Birthday to you… hope that you will have many more in the best of health and luck with those people you would not celebrate them without

    Have a splendid, ♥-warming ABC-Wednes-day / -week
    ♫ M e l d y ♪ (ABC-W-team)

  4. Happy natal day! That cake suggests more than 5-0!

    1. HAhahhaa! well, I'll be sure to keep the fire extinguisher handy, just in case!


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