Shabbat Blood Moon Lunar Eclipse Shalom (last week)

I'm really tired because I started a new job that has me working 9 hours a day Sunday through Thursday, and 4 hours on Fridays.  while I'm sure I'll get used to the schedule/routine, it's a lot at the moment.  and since there's a bunch of things that need doing around the house on my one day off, I'm making a list so I can get them done quickly, and hopefully still have time to rest a bit before going back to work tomorrow.

    dishes - I put away the clean dishes, then washed the rest of the dirty ones so I could clean the sink to wash my work shirts in.  yes, it would be more 'appropriate' to wash them in the bathroom sink, in my opinion, but the bathroom sink is too small.  then I took a small break to update the blog, have a snack, and play some online sheshbesh, too.  ✔

    wash work shirts - got the work shirts washed to the best of my ability.  there's no stopper, so it's kind of impossible to get the sink to fill with water without it draining out before I'm done.  whatever.  maybe I'll get a chance to wash them at the laundromat after payday (nope.  washed them in the sink again this week).  ✔

    Clean The Bathroom - did the bathroom, yay!  honestly, I hadn't cleaned it for too long, and it was getting really gross.  mostly just the toilet, but since I'm the only one here, and I don't have guests, the only one being grossed out by it is me, so...yeah.  I swept the floor, but it still needs to be mopped, which is next on the list.  I really dislike doing the floors for some reason, so I tend to procrastinate on them.  probably because they never really look 100% clean to me, and get dirty again so quickly.  ✔

    mop floors - there.  I did 7/8 of the floor.  the last 1/8 will wait a few minutes while the last bit I did dries.  I do it in sections...it doesn't take a lot of time, it's just annoying because I sometimes have to go over a section more than once to get every speck of dust and debris I can because I'm like that.  ✔

    re-pot however many plants I can - turns out I had enough soil to re-pot 6 plants!  one of my baby lemon trees, and 5 of my little tree sprouts, which a quick google search leads me to believe are 'Bauhinia variegata', aka 'purple orchid tree'.  ✔

    make a big salad for work lunches - (this happened the next morning, but it did happen.)  ✖

    cook a 'proper' meal (stir-fry) -  scrambled the eggs; meant to do the meat next but was going too fast and accidentally put the rice in the pot first, so that's simmering now.  rice and meat are both done; veggies are chopped and cooking; rice has been added to the pot; meat added along with legumes and spices, and finally the eggs.  time to eat!  ✔

    meerpeset - well, I went out to sweep the meerpeset, but there are three air conditioners upstairs that drip down onto it, and with the floor being wet, I ended making a bigger mess of it than was there to begin with.  so that was really annoying, stupid, and counter-productive.  and since my 'indoor shoes' got wet and dirty out there, they left dirt just inside the door on the floor I just mopped, so I had to wipe that spot again.  yay!  grumble grumble angry face.  it's ok, it's done now, and I'm just going to move on (I did finally get the meerpeset clean to my standards a few days later).  ✖

    talk to the kid - (happened the next morning before I had to get ready for work, but it did happen.)  ✖

    lay on an icepack - done and done (just about every day, these days).  ✔

that was my whole Shabbat (last week).  and while I know most people can probably get more done in a day than washing their dishes, handwashing 5 t-shirts, cleaning their bathrooms, mopping their floors, doing a bit of gardening and cleaning the porch, making a salad and a stir-fry, while writing a blog post about it, for me it's a lot.  especially since my diabetes is wildly uncontrolled at the moment, and I'm tired all the time.  the full moon tends to drain my energy and it being an eclipse had me all over the place emotionally, as well.  I didn't even get to see the moon turn red because I fell asleep as soon as I completed my list, and woke up just after it ended.  go figure.

I didn't end up working this Friday - I had an appointment with the nutritionist, and was supposed to go in after if there was still time, but there wasn't.  so I wandered through the shuk to see if there was anything I needed, but I wanted to take a closer look at the meal plan the nutritionist made for me before buying anything, so I just got some chicken (which I knew was part of the meal plan), and a small challah, and headed home for Shabbat.  I managed to get the dishes done and the sink cleaned again because I had to wash my work shirts by hand again, and cooked a meal of mac & cheese - which was definitely NOT on the meal plan, but I had planned for it and purchased the ingredients for it, so I went for it.  it was pretty good, but I don't think I did myself any favors by eating it.  I still would like to clean the bathroom and do the floors again because if I leave them for next week, it will once again get too dirty in here for me to function well.  I really do much better in a clean space.

it's only just past noon, and there's plenty of time to get the cleaning done, as well as some paperwork, and taking a good look at that meal plan so I can implement it during my work week.  I'm supposed to be checking my blood sugar 2 hours after my meals, too, which I generally don't bother with because I know it's generally high, and I don't need the stress of knowing how high, but I guess I'm trying?  I'd like to be able to have more energy for the kids I work with - and for myself, in the event I ever do anything other than work again.  I did lose some weight since I moved to Israel, and my A1C which has been through the roof did come down a point, but that's not enough to really make a difference.  I've gotten it down before, and I'd like to get it down again to avoid having to take the insulin and other various drugs my doctor tried to prescribe which I refused to take.  

the nutritionist also said the way I take the one medication I did agree to use isn't doing me any favors, and suggested a better schedule, so I'm working on correcting that as well.  again, it's probably not a lot for most people, but I'm not most people.  I'm ME, and I function as well as I can inside a societal framework that doesn't fit my idea of what life should be like because I want to survive a bit longer than my dad, who died at 57 (I'm 56), and maybe even as long as my mom, who died at 77.  and I want to be as vibrant and healthy as I can rather than a frail old woman confined to a wheelchair or a bed.  it's not like I have any life insurance to pay for an old people home when that time comes.  

I still feel so young in my heart and mind, it's hard to believe I'm anything other than the 20 year old kid I once was, though the lack of male attention I receive makes me feel as if I've become invisible.  I'm not sure if it's my age, my weight, or my not-so-subtle 'fuck off' vibe.  I went on a few dates recently, and while I wasn't impressed with them, they seemed interested enough, so...I don't know.  maybe they were so desperate they'd take anything, and I'm not nearly that interested in ruining my peace for someone that doesn't meet my rigid standards.  we'll see.  maybe if I get myself feeling more healthy I'll feel more confident about meeting people for romantic interludes.  right now, it's enough to keep my apartment up to my level of acceptance!

boring post that says nothing, really, but like with most things, I'm trying to keep to a schedule, so there it is. Shabbat Shalom ~

Shabbat Summer Solstice Shalom

today feels important.  it needs marking, attention paid to it.  there hasn't been any community for me around solstices and equinoxes in years, and as such, it's been harder to hold on to as a social holiday.  like everything else we eventually shed, it seems to be the rituals and traditions we manage to keep close that end up defining us.  or maybe just me.

I had wanted to make a point of being out on the meerpeset at around 8, 8:30 this morning to adjust the rosemary so it was right where the sun first touches the ground to mark the clock of my current habitat, but my sleep schedule has been wonky due to alarms and bomb shelter runs, so I was up around 3 or 4 this morning, but fell back asleep until around 10.  no worries, I can catch that tomorrow.  it's just about noon, though, so I want to see what I can still do today.  I've had some ideas, so I thought I'd share.

 

 

 

my first thought for the day is usually 'bonfires', and while I don't have a space to build and burn a bonfire, I can do a little something something with candles.  god help me, but instagram was where I went first...no, that's not true...I did an internet search of 'summer solstice rituals' and was quickly unsatisfied with the results and remembered that on insta, one can find these cute graphics that are excellent quick reference guides.  I looked up @animamundi first, and will share their info-square below, but @thewitchoftheforest was more what I wanted, so I shared hers first.  

I haven't unpacked any of my crystals or stones because I simply have nowhere to put them at the moment.  there's still no furniture, and the damn table I was so happy about in my last post collapsed already, so I have even LESS space to put anything.  so frustrating.  anyway...the one rose quartz that I think I can access is a little ball at the end of a silver hair stick, and as silly as it may be to wear 'fancy jewelry' to sit around the house and maybe mop the floors, maybe it's important, too.  and I'm doing a small ritual with some storm water, honey, lemons, ginger, turmeric, candles, grapes, and rosemary, and crowning myself with the fancy silver hair stick for the solstice (even though gold would be more appropriate).

  

 

the few things I do have in a special dish on what is usually my altar came from the sea, so they don't feel like the right things to put out in the noonday sun.  I will incorporate them into whatever I've gotten up to when the moon is overhead.  for now, while my ritual items are baking out in the Israeli sun, I'm cooking a nourishing meal for my Sabbath Bride.  I was napping when She got here, tired from my day of babysitting a new pair of kiddos.  they were adorable, and exhausting, and after I got home, I just zoned out for awhile until the alerts went off right around dinner time...so it was down to the bomb shelter, after which I went straight to bed in case we were in for a busy night.  so when Shabbat arrived, She just slipped into the bed with me, and inhabited my dreams.  She didn't mind that I didn't light the candles, say the prayers, or fix a meal.  and She helped me figure out how to honor the Solstice by creating a simple altar from what I had.

 

 

 

 

on the kitchen counter, there was some rosemary that was drying in a glass dish, and I filled the dish with water and put it out on the altar as well.  then I started preparing the meal.  it turned out that I had bought a different kind of chicken than I thought, so I put all of it (a pound and a half?) in a pot with some olive oil, and sprinkled it liberally with a specialty salt mix, pepper, paprika, turmeric, oregano, and parsley and let it cook through.  I was reminded of when I was a kid, and liked to mix up various substances in the bathroom with playful joy, and hoped it would turn out ok.  once it was cooked, I threw in some carrots, celery, and garlic, then poured in a packet of chicken noodle soup I had mixed with water in a bowl, and let it simmer while I made a big salad to go with it the stew when it was done.  when the salad was ready I served up a bowl of stew, and ate it in front of the altar, followed by the salad.  they were both delicious, and my Bride is pleased. 

 

 

since it's the Solstice, Shabbat can stay later than any other day during the year, and I'm taking advantage of that by not worrying about 'getting everything done' before sundown.  my Shabbat Bride knows I'm currently messy and struggling, and She's also willing to put up with me while I figure it all out.  even if She doesn't get to stay for my whole ritual, She will still be part of it, and will be honored by it.  time is relative, and an extra soul does as an extra soul chooses.  the bathroom floor will get mopped eventually, the day needs magick.  so, it's time to bring in the fruits and things that have been charging all day in the sun. 

I skimmed off the top layer of honey and stirred it into the rosemary water, where I also squeezed in the juice of the two lemon halves.  the whole lemon went back in the fridge for tea later, along with the grapes (not for tea, for eating).  the lemon seeds were planted, and the ginger and turmeric were sliced up to dry for tea; the sun-charged storm water was added to the rosemary/honey/lemon wash.  after a nice rest out on the meerpeset (with an ice pack) I caught a buzz before getting ready for that purifying shower I've been looking forward to all day.

 

rosemary snowglobe!

 

 

 

in the shower, I anointed my third eye, throat, heart, solar plexus, sex, and the base of my spine with my Solstice solar rosemary lemon storm elixir, then poured some of the liquid down my front and back.  it felt invigorating and smelled wonderful!  after my shower, I put what was left of the ritual water back in a jar, lit my candles, and prayed over my bread and grapes.  then Shabbat left, and I offered Her a dark chocolate square with orange bits for the road, which She gladly accepted.  I didn't end up finding the moon before I slept again; I think she might have been a very slim crescent in the very early hours of the morning, and it's a bit cloudier than usual...we'll see. 

 R E D   A L E R T

  

 

ugh.  bad hit in Tel Aviv.  no bueno.  

 

 

well, I didn't catch the moon last night, but I did catch the sun this morning, and it looks like the rosemary is in just the right spot.  I shifted it to the left about 3/4 of an inch because I'm particular, but that is the spot where the sun first hits my meerpeset on the (morning after the) Summer Solstice.  and the ginger and turmeric are drying, and I made a delicious brunch from last night's chicken and salad.  since the war seems to be escalating slightly, and Homefront Command has tightened the restrictions again, I don't think I'll be going anywhere today, but as always - we'll see. 

 

 

enough cleaning got done for it to feel like I did something, and I may do more, if I don't fall asleep first.  as much as I want to repair or replace my table, now I'm fixated on getting a clothes rack so I can hang up my shirts and dresses already.  I'm tired of the suitcases and want to feel more like I live here.  everything costs, though, and I haven't been working due to the conflict/s.  all I can do is take care of myself and see that I'm being nourished on as many levels as possible.  remembering to visit with the Shabbat Bride on this Summer Solstice is one way to support my spiritual, emotional, physical, and mental health.  

 

  

  

 

 

I flipped the mattress, too, so I'm looking forward to taking another nap here, soon - though I'm also trying to stay active so as not to get completely out of whack with time and schedules.  I'm hoping things go back to 'normal' quickly.  Blessed Solstice, welcome to the dark half of the year, and as those of us in the Northern Hemisphere swelter through summer's heat, remember that the wheel is turning towards autumn, and let your mind rest briefly on what's to come, and how to plan for it, as far as we can plan for anything.  much love ~