Monday, November 4, 2019

Dream - 9/23/19

my father's people all came to me in a dream last night.

they showed up at my house with my brother and his wife.

I fought with my brother, and he threatened me with violence.

I woke myself yelling for him to stop.

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dreams about my ancestors suggest that I'm acknowledging my inherited traits and traditions - that I may be trying to hold on to the past and preserve it.  it was a positive experience with them in which I felt safe and cared for.  that I had an argument with my brother, though, means that I am trying to suppress some quality I have in common with him, or could symbolize bitterness, jealousy, or rivalry.  it could be that I am overly dependent on my family, especially since they've been showing up a lot, lately...though the veils are real thin, as it's 'that time of year'.  considering also the significance of it being my father's people, and the relationships I have to them.  

having to do with my dad's people, and a fight with my brother, it would represent that wild nature, that inner Self, and where I draw my support from in getting to know their stories better piecing the little know with the history I learn).  with my brother, shouting at me about how wrong I am as a person, his wife standing by.  it would speak to some repressed anger, but I've made it pretty clear how angry I am about many aspects of my relationships with my brother (and his wife as an extension), and why we're estranged, so I wouldn't say it was about any anger that I've repressed - I'm openly vocal about it.

it's like the Hulk - it's always simmering down there, under the surface, bubbling to come out and Smash, but I need to keep it in check, or I will burn it all to the ground.  and that's my dad's influence in my life.  so his people were there to support and witness my bro and I Hulking out on each other - in dreams, where it represents the fury and frustration of not being able to release that energy - like something unresolved or unacknowledged fighting for its right to be heard. it also parallels our real fight in our waking life, and that I need to assert and stand up for myself there, too

that I am being threatened indicates that I have internalized the fear of being inadequate or oppressed. the violence indicates unexpressed anger or rage...I need more discipline in my life.  it may also reflect repressed memories of child abuse - in particular, to dream that the violence is directed towards me represents self punishment and guilt, and feelings of helplessness or vulnerability. violence toward others in your dream (me yelling myself awake) suggests that I may be fighting or struggling against aspects of your own Self.  violence can be a common theme when you have unconscious pent up feelings of anger and frustration.

my creative nature is attempting to rise back to the surface, amid the scars of my psyche threatening it with the debilitating fears of growing up under the threat of physical violence for stepping out of place, and with my ancestors in attendance to support and encourage me, I am fighting back.  shouting myself out of the dream to protect my most precious resource, and calm my rage by diffusing that bomb through my highest expressive self.

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