Shabbat Saturn in Aries/Aquarius Solar Eclipse/'Ezekiel Conjunction' Shalom & Community Reading

wow, Shabbat again already?  time is just passing more and more quickly for me, and I'm reminded of how after my father died at 57, I just assumed I would, too.  I turned 57 last month, and it's been a hard transition.  I started this post on the 13th of February, and didn't have the energy to finish it, so I'm picking up where I left off, with Saturn having entered Aries on the 15th:

there's SO much astrological 'stuff' whirling around us that been it's sapping my energy quite a bit.  from May through September of last year, Saturn was moving through Aries, and during that time, it gave us "a brief glimpse into the lessons and gifts that...we need to step up and take greater responsibility for" (according to one astrologer I tend to like, link at the end of this post).  while Aries is impulsive, fast-moving energy that likes to set things in motion, Saturn prefers to take it slow and calculate all the risks before choosing to proceed.  so you can see why I'm fatigued by the push and pull of it, and though I'm a bit desperate to move forward with my 'next steps' (whatever they turn out to be), I'm busy feeling stuck and doubting myself at the moment. 

 

looking back at what I was doing during the May-September Saturn in Aries window of 2025 that was a prelude to what's happening now, I was definitely exhibiting my "willingness to take leaps of faith and start new things" by getting several different jobs in a row as I learned what it means to work in this country, and how to deal (or not deal) with the agencies and people behind them.  so I'm hoping this time, instead of jumping impulsively from one opportunity to the next without a great deal of information to go on past my need to cover my rent and bills, I can focus with more clarity on where I need to put my energy in order to feel more grounded and aligned towards opportunities where I can follow through and experience some sustainable growth over this two year cycle.  

then two days later on the 17th, the Aquarius 'Ring of Fire' Solar Eclipse hit us:

the eclipse energy is all about new paths, transforming and awakening, and a 'surprise' that will be "shifting our consciousness in ways we could not have predicted".   and what is ending in order to clear the way to build a new foundation?  I guess that will be made clear by August.  we're looking for a gentle pathway towards healing - transformative, softening, "turning to nature and our intuition for guidance".  we need to pay attention to our dreams, what we're putting in our bodies, and are encouraged to ask for signs and stay open to what insights may come.  setting open ended intentions and trusting the process are also part of this lunation.

 

looking back to 2017/18 (when 'eclipse season' last happened in this sign) for clues about what may be coming up for me, I found myself building my life with my small family - taking good care of my son and nurturing his friendships, supporting his creativity and growth, and enjoying two really fun vacations together.  I took a deeper dive into my activism within the Roma community while building a small tribe of friends-as-family around us where we also shared spiritual connectivity and even some ritual work.  I took care of both my mother and a dear elder I had known for decades, and really started to enjoy being in the kitchen and learning recipes old and new.  there were some buried traumas that unfortunately needed to come to the surface for me, but on the whole, I did a great deal of work towards centering my own health, remembering my passions, and reviving practices that had been been the cornerstone of my identity forever before I got sidetracked by all the noise of life.  it was a solid time in our lives where I was able to keep us relatively stable, and my son and I thrived as a result, in many areas of our lives.  lots of good news there! 

then last but certainly not least, we experienced the 'Ezekiel Conjunction' (as Lorelai Kude called it) on the 20th, when Saturn and Neptune met at 0 degrees Aries, which hasn't happened since 593 bce:

 

The Chariot of G*d, Art by Mikayla Ragsdale

 

this event is all about rupture and reconstruction as 'holiness no is longer bound to a single place and becomes mobile', signalling a collapse of illusions into reality or the end of a long myth-cycle.  a reckoning between idealism and structure, if you will, a "time to forge a new reality from scratch".  we are expected to be grieving as we enter this time of renewal, as we learn to take personal responsibility for our actions (offer up a prayer for collective opening).  "the collapse of inherited meaning is followed by the demand for a new moral architecture...the end of illusion". are we ready to grow up and stop looking for someone to come and save us? we'd better be - we need to do it on our own. do we know who we are without the stories we've been telling ourselves all these years? we are being called to exist without all the old baggage, and to surrender to compassion. a very tall order, indeed.

I'm truly very tired, so I'll just pull one card (using the Thoth deck) and see what it says ~

 

well, would you look at that?  I can't think of a better card for our current astrological situationship.  the Queen of Swords sits on her throne of clouds ready to slice through All The Illusions to get to What's Real.  she works to refine the world, upgrading our understanding so we can fully become ourselves.  that head (or mask) in her hand represents breaking away from old roles and behaviors towards the light of liberation.  she frees our minds to make logical decisions, encourages clear and concise communication, cutting through old patterns that hold us back to see things fresh with the eyes of a child, showing us the courage and conviction to move forward in a new way.  having had a hard journey towards becoming, she also shows her vulnerability and 'goes with the flow'.  ultimately, she uses her intuition to gain insight, then uses her intellect to get what she wants out in the world.  and that seems to be exactly what what we're being asked to do. 

 

Saturn in Aries

Aquarius Solar Eclipse

Ezekiel Conjunction part 1 & 2

Another Six Sentence Story

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prompt word:  MARK 

 

"hey Mom," Mark yelled as he burst through the door from school like a runner off his mark after hearing the starting pistol, "check out the marks I got on these exams!"

"well, that is fantastic, young man - you've really been hitting the mark this quarter and I'm very proud of you!  umm...what's that mark on your forehead that looks like a question mark?"

"Oh...that's just something a kid in my class did; he bet me an old Deutsche Mark from back before the Euro came out that I couldn't guess what he was drawing on me with his eraser while we were supposed to be learning about how Mark Twain took his name from the term 'marking the twain' on old riverboats, which means the water is 2 fathoms - or 12 feet - deep."

"kiddo, you may be some kind of genius or something, but I fear you may end up being an easy mark for some of your classmates who grow up a little closer to the edge, if you know what I mean."

"I know," he sighed, "but once I manage to make my mark in this world by using my success to help uplift our whole community, they'll thank me, and that will be the best revenge ever."

 

(in case you couldn't guess, I tried to use as many different forms of the prompt word as I could, just for fun.) 

Wordle 743 - Shipwreck

click the link to join in the fun!

this week's words are:

  

wings beneath cracks cringe stretch split chaos hesitates ship spin breathe pieces

 

 

Shipwreck

 

in a merciless winter storm 

 

one monster wave after another was born

 

cracking down on a doomed old ship

 

splitting her hull as the cruel winds ripped 

 

what was left of her to pieces 

 

 

the poor brave souls of her crew were fed

 

to the angry maw of the sea half dead

 

sunk beneath the chaos and woe

 

to the quiet of the Locker below 

 

where the struggle to breathe sadly ceases 

 

 

when the seas roll calm again after the fury

 

flocks of seagulls arrive in a flurry

 

to stretch their wings above the wreck

 

and the hearts of the widows cringe in their chests 

 

as soon as the news releases 

 

 

yet never a true sailor hesitates 

 

when he chooses to marry his fate

 

to the cruel whims of the seas he sails

 

though wondering if his resolve will fail 

 

as a merciless winter storm spins in 

 

to destroy what he knows of peace

 

 

I was inspired to listen to these Songs and Shantys of Shipwrecks by this week's wordle words, and read a few articles on the subject as well.  I guess I can say I've learned a bit about different kinds of wrecks, both unintentional and those that are planned - for instance, did you know that old ships are sometimes sunk on purpose to build up a reef, to block an enemy from approaching, or for military target practice?  in some cases, it's apparently cheaper than recycling them.

 

in my later 20's I had the invaluable experience of living on a steamship for 4 months as part of a Semester at Sea program, and I encourage every young college student to explore the possibility of doing the same.  while I learned very little about ships or seafaring (though there are programs for that, too), I learned a great deal about myself, the cultures of the countries I was lucky enough to have visited greatly expanding my worldview, and I didn't do too badly in my classes, either.  

 

there were also several articles highlighting the plight of refugees fleeing their homelands as they're torn apart by civil wars, many of whom lose their lives along the way (among other horrible outcomes) while seeking better situations for themselves and their families.  I don't really want to say more about that, as I'm not an expert by any means, but I do want to say that I wish we could create the kind of world where everyone was able to get everything they need, as we've long since had the means to make that dream come true.  

Shabbat (a Few Days Past the Full Moon in Leo) Shalom & Community Reading

it's been a rough couple of weeks.  the new moon a few days before my birthday and the one year anniversary of my moving to a newish country sent me into a spiral of depression costing me a good deal of my sanity, but the full moon a few days ago seems to be helping to mellow me out a bit.  I mentioned in the post I made that week (Aliyah-versary) that I haven't really been doing much of anything other than laying around being a useless lump, rationing my diminishing food supply, and doing my best to try and find people to help me get the support I need in the areas I need it.   

the social workers here have mostly been a big fail for me in that arena, and the ones I connected with so far have mostly made me feel unsafe and vulnerable to threats I'm not ready to navigate, so I probably won't be turning to them again any time soon.  I did call a few of the local helplines when I felt I was freaking out and needed to talk, and some of them were a bit helpful, though some of the folks I spoke with seemed to think marrying me off to a religious nut is the answer to all my problems, and I beg to differ.  what I've needed most (this month) has been financial assistance, and help finding a job I can stick with and succeed at in the long term, and I did manage to work some mojo in that direction - I was gifted the miracle of enough cash to pay this month's rent and bills, and also received a grant to enroll in a 'retraining' program to learn a new skill/trade so I can hopefully 'upgrade' my ability to find work here.

in the meantime, I've been focusing on drinking enough water, getting a decent amount of rest, and doing what I can to organize my space a little bit better, which is an ongoing process as I'm still 'unpacking' and sorting my belongings into a workable semblance of organization.  the bookcase I bought is already stuffed full, and there are several books/files that don't even fit on the shelves and are piled on the floor next to the bookshelf.  since my contract (lease) is nearing its end and I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to stay in this apartment much longer, I certainly wasn't going to buy any more furniture or decorate, but it seems I still have some small glimmer of hope because with the help of my cousin, I managed to get the landpeople to renew the contract at the current rent price rather than raising it 200 shekels a month, and at least that buys me one more month of a roof over my head to try and find another job before rent comes due again.  

I feel like the embodiment of 'two steps forward, one step back' this month - as though all the pressure of looming homelessness wasn't enough, Facebook decided to ban me from the platform out of the blue for no reason, so just while I was struggling the hardest with my mental health, I was cut off from the closest thing I have to support from virtual 'friends', not to mention the employment groups and new immigrant support groups I belong to on there.  I also had an item up for sale on Marketplace which would have bought me a week's worth of groceries if I could manage to sell it - and the many many recipes and craft projects I've saved over the years that I lost access to just when I needed them most.  

curiously, being banned from fb gave me a really eye-opening reality check of how deeply I'm immersed in it, and forced me to take a step back and use that time more productively.  sure, I played hours and hours of video games (by which I mean sheshbesh, yatzy, and various word games) and watched WAY too many seasons of an older tv program I liked once upon a time, but I also turned to this blog and managed to catch up on a few posts, delete lots of festering drafts, reconnect with The Sunday Whirl, and discover Six Sentence Stories from GirlieOnTheEdge.  the former didn't feel so welcoming as only one other participant stopped in to leave a comment on my poem (I visited and commented on ALL the other blogs), while the SSS community has been very welcoming, kind, and engaging (that's why they get a link, and TSW doesn't 😉).  I got an email from fb this morning saying I've been reinstated, though I'm in no rush to log back in after my 2 week hiatus.  I know I will soon enough as I still have that aforementioned item to sell on Marketplace, and all those recipes and craft projects to save in a more secure location so I don't lose access to them again at the whim of some stupid bot.

the big win for today was getting myself to the shuk in time to buy the ingredients I was missing for my soup, and a challah plus some dessert for my Shabbat meal tonight.  I'm not usually one for doughnuts, but for whatever reason I woke up this morning just...wanting a chocolate doughnut, and wondering if I'd seen anything resembling that since I've been here.  I didn't find exactly what I was looking for, but I found something close enough.  my timer just went off letting me know my soup is ready, so I'm going to have myself a bowl, then finish what I came here to do;  pull some tarot cards for a community reading!

so - which deck am I feeling today?  let's see...

I'm going to use three different decks for us this time - my very first deck, Tarot of the Witches, because I haven't read in awhile and it just feels right; The Fairie's Oracle, in honor of two dear friends; and my fake Ukranian (Russian?) knockoff of Buckland's Romani Tarot because there happen to be a lot of Russians (Ukranians?) in my building/neighborhood, so why not.  

 

 

 

to begin:  where are we all?  what is happening in our world?  

next:  what do we need?  what can we offer to ourselves and each other?

and finally:  how/where do we find it? 

 

 

 

 

The Fool - ah, the dear young naive darling, forever heading over the edge of that cliff despite his faithful companion's warning.  what an adventure, what folly...a study of opposites with his rash determination to step out into the world, both completely unprepared, and carrying all the tools he needs for his journey.  he's like an uncarved stone waiting for the chisel, open to all experiences, the embodiment of creativity and joy.  he is wholeness and nothingness, as he's ridden this ride eternally and just keeps traveling on through.  is that what we're doing, now?  our level best to live in the moment because we have no idea what's coming next?  just trying to roll with the punches?  shall we toss our pennies to the wind and see what wisdom we gain?  should we listen to those who would hold us back with warnings?  or do we walk on, untroubled and unafraid?

The Guardian at the Gate - this Guardian's duty is to hold the mystical gateway open for those who are ready to pass through to new realms, and close it to those who aren't.  drawing this card indicates we are being welcomed to step into a new awareness, and/or to hold the door open for others who may be ready to join us on the other side.  we are also reminded that each of us must make that choice on our own.  it's such a delicate little thing, yet a deeply important and significant moment for us all.  can we let ourselves open our hearts to both our own changes, and those of others?  we can't pass this way and stay the same; it is suggested that we ask The Guardian for both guidance and protection as we embark.

5 of Pentacles - the ones who have lost everything.  desperate, destitute, and beyond hope.  they are plagued by illness and poverty, and cry out in their pain.  they don't notice the light in the window because they're too caught up in their own plight to see that there is still the tiniest glimmer of hope.  if they seek connection, they will find it.  so how/where do we find it?  most tarot decks illustrate the window as a church, but we can fill in whatever we need for that metaphor, as we aren't all of the same faith.  but that's the bottom line - faith.  if we find it in a building under the guidance of a spiritual leader, or if we find it out in nature under a canopy of trees, sky, and stars, we must seek it out in order to reconnect with what heals and carries us through the dark times.  

if we choose to see our collective consciousness as The Fool about to step off that cliff where The Guardian of the Gate asks us to consider if we're really ready to walk into that awareness, can we turn our mindset from scarcity and fear to hope and connection?  are we truly able to let ourselves love each other that much?  can we love our own selves that much?  what does it take?  for me, it takes small acts like drinking water and resting, making myself soup, and remembering to center myself enough to feel like I can read cards for us.  and finding the right people to reach out to when I need help.  it's all a process that we've been through again and again, and somehow, we will always find ourselves at the beginning, even if we're at the end.

selah ~ 

 

*if you enjoyed this reading and would like to connect with me for a personal reading of your own, reach out to me at Mysteriam Tarot & Dreamwork.  💙💜💙 

my first 'Six Sentence Stories'

found a new game to play - click on the image to check it out!

 the prompt is BRAND

 

"So, what your saying is that we don't have enough money to cover the rent, and you think that driving up to Montreal to gamble at a casino with the money we do have is the best option for getting it?"

She couldn't believe she was sitting in his car heading north, going along with this ludicrous and most likely ill-fated plan as they approached the border to Canada, passed through with their Vermont ID's, and continued on to the outcome she hoped against hope would work out in their favor.

Having only been to Las Vegas that one time, the casino still somehow felt familiar with its low-lights, lack of clocks, and wildly patterned carpet, and she quickly went to sit at the slot machines where she was the most comfortable, as the tables with their high stakes were intimidating and she wasn't that bold a gambler, never having had the kind of money it required to wear one's confidence like a suit.

On the other hand, he went straight to the tables, illustrating one of the key differences in their characters, and probably a good indication that the relationship wasn't bound to last, though that thought (which she had often enough to make her consider breaking up with him at least once a week) always made her think of Philippe Halsman's Jump Book, which seemed to indicate the opposite - that couples who exhibited similar jumps ended up splitting, while those who jumped differently appeared to have stood the test of time.

After an hour of their separate endeavors, he came over to where she was absently watching the virtual wheels spin with eyes that looked to be glazing over and turned her to face his newest idea as it had come to him, and with a contained excitement he began, "I think...instead of this aimless sort of searching for our fortunes on our own, we should team up, pick one game - like craps or roulette - and put the whole pile of what we have left on one bold bet, no regrets."

And so she found herself standing before a long expanse of green, broken by lines and numbers down its center that had no meaning to her, shaking two dice in her right fist muttering, "Come on, Lady Luck, mama needs some brand new shoes..."

 

(I hope I've done this right, and if not, I hope someone pops in to correct me!) 

The Sunday Whirl 742

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 haven't done this in a few years, but here goes!  this week's words are:

  

 

untethered cloaks tendrils gods ash renew weaves through holy spark below wonder 

 

tendrils of hair

luminous 

with holy sparks 

woven through ash

untethered 

from below the hoods

of cloaks

which are prisons

meant to erase 

the goddesses  

who renew with wonder 

the indomitable spirit 

of their people 

 

this week's words were a poem all by themselves

 

which brought immediately to my mind

 

these brave women on the front lines of claiming their own freedom