Sunday, September 23, 2012

sexy search terms

while it shouldn't come as a shock to me that sex sells, sometimes I guess I need to be reminded just how much it goes for.  I did the keyboard post for love or money, but I forget, I'm kidding, I did it because I felt like posting something, and I wanted it to be somehow other than my usual style, so I thought I'd share some pretty things on which to piggy back the idea I borrowed (totally copied?) from the 'woman whose exploits I vaguely follow' mentioned in the highlighted post.  I'll give you the short recap:  she posts to her blog regularly, but happened to mention something about the Olympics, so her blog got an inordinate amount of hits that day.  after a convo with some friends about that, she looked up 'most popular search terms' or some such, and decided to post a picture of a cat, and a woman's ass in a half-joking attempt at becoming a kindle millionaire overnight.  her number of hits quadrupled, and she had made her point well - though I don't know if she sold any of her books as a result, even one would have been a win in my opinion.

the most popular posts in my blog's history (1st, 2nd, 3rd) involve a drama over people thinking I was going to attempt suicide, a post about getting home from residency that had a bunch of links to VT businesses, and a post about my connection to my higher spirit and a particular meditation that also had a bunch of links.  so I thought I'd try the same tack in a slightly different way, to see if the device would work here, simply by putting the word 'porn' in the title of a post.  is it a dishonest thing to do?  maybe.  I'm not sure yet.  I did a similar search for 'most popular' terms and came up with the same results; people tend to check their email, facebook, and youtube most often, and then they look at 'adult websites' - what I like to call pornography.  I find that word's very suggestive, yet leaves itself open to interpretation.  which is the essence of flirtatious to me, because it facilitates the need for definition and therefore conversation about the differences between what one considers enticing, and what crosses the line into the grotesque - the result of which leaves the people involved in the discussion with a good idea of weather or not they'd like to experience sharing the pleasure with any of the people they've been discussing it with.  but that could just be me, because I really enjoy sex as a sacred act.

if you looked at my bookmarks, you would find links to facebook, my blog, my email, youtube, Free Will astrology (love that guy!), and the weather channel.  I look up pornography on the internet, too, just not as often as I look at wikipedia or a dictionary - but isn't that one of those things open to interpretation?  once a week, twice a week, once every two weeks?  once a month, more or less?  when I'm in the mood...I'm sure some of you are thinking 'Oh, my gOd!  I Never look at pornOGraphy!', and some of you are shrugging your shoulders and thinking 'yeah, so?'  keep in mind, I'm single - if I lived with a guy, or even had a guy to have sex with regularly, I might not look at porn at all, who's to say...  I also write some pretty intense (well, for me...) erotic fiction, and I was thinking of putting some up on here...what do you think?  I don't even know who I'm talking to (which is kind of crazy and just like asking myself), so if you're out there and reading this, leave me a comment and let me know if you would be interested in reading any of my kinky sex fiction, or how often you engage with pornography!  : )

more photos & images are always good, no?

and y'all look up/are into some weird shit...*_*

Friday, September 21, 2012

ABC Wednesday: J is for...


 is that not the lamest thing? I really ought not to take part in these projects if this is the best I can come up with - two days late, besides.  I had even thought of doing a second pic of 'Jewels', but I was too lazy to take any of my jewelery out and style it for a shoot.  between my new job and my Master's program, I'm pretty wiped out - and 'back to school' was no picnic, but we're settling in, now.  I have about five drafts of posts half-written because I keep having all these great ideas, and no time to actualize them, so I need to keep tagging the pages to come back to later.  it's the good kind of busy...though I can't help but notice that all the snapshots I've taken lately are of objects in and around my house.  need to get out much?  never mind all that, let's talk about my juicer!

see how clean it is?  that's because I hardly ever use it.  after I got all excited about the idea of juicing, I ran out and bought one, and started right in with it.  it was great, juicing is awesome, and I loved all the healthy drinks and how great they made me feel, but I was throwing away a lot of pulp for not much juice, and that got very expensive, very quickly.  I have since learned that there are ways to prepare the leftover pulp, so as not to lose all that good nutrition to waste, so I'll get to trying it again when I have a specific recipe I'd like to work out.  which brings me to my point - Rainbow Chard!!!  a friend of mine gave me the most gorgeous pile of chard the other day, and I need to use it, quick, before I murder it in the fridge from neglect as is so wont to happen to innocent young veggies in my care.  so I looked up some recipes, and here's what I thought I might try:  chard/cabbage salad, and an apple/carrot/ginger/chard juice recipe I found on the same website.  do you juice?  do you like rainbow chard?  what are your favorite ways to prepare it?

don't forget to click the link for other great ABC Wednesday posts!

Sunday, September 16, 2012

keyboard porn

Orée Board Walnut

while perusing the news feed on the facebook page for this blog, I was struck by a post from Colossal about the custom-built, walnut keyboard above, and caught myself going, "ooooh!"  it's lovely, isn't it?  it's made by French design company Oree, and I think it would be divine to type on.  I don't love computer keyboards, and often I miss the clunkity-clack of my beastly old typewriters, but that is a finely-crafted instrument, and it is 2012 - one needs a means to an end.  so I thought I'd share a few of the things that have caught my breath while perusing the collective electronic mind, and see if anyone shares my interest.

because I love my typewriters more than I like computer keyboards, I nearly peed myself when a woman whose exploits I vaguely follow posted about the 'USB Typewriter' - look at the wonderful device below!  just as I was wishing there was some way to hook my old typewriter up to my computer, I learn that there is!  it's pretty freaking pricey, but if I had the $$$...there's a kit to retrofit your own antique typewriter for under $80 dollars (which I would not attempt to do), or you can buy one ready made for under $1000.  prices are approximate, click on the image of the typewriter to take you to their website if you want specifics - and check out the sweet machines they have for sale.

I didn't know what steampunk was until the last few years, but to be fair, I don't think that particular style had a name too much before then...which isn't to say it didn't exist, but maybe wasn't fully realized enough in the alternative-mainstream to bear labeling past 'science-fiction', or 'Victorian'.  either way, some of the designs are stunning, and definitely the sort of thing that makes my shopping instinct kick in.  is there such a thing as a shopping instinct?  I suppose it would be more an arousal of desire, or an attraction towards beauty, on a base level.  I mean, look at the skilled work below - is that not an example of inspired design?  sure, it costs more than my whole desktop setup put together, but this is art, and fine work deserves generous compensation.  the keyboard below is the work of the good people at Datamancer.

this one doesn't get me hot and bothered, but it's a nifty toy/gadget, so I felt like giving the wireless laser keyboard a nod - it projects the keyboard on a surface, and makes cool clicking noises as you type.  just type 'wireless laser keyboard' into your search bar, it'll come up...

and last but not least, the Happy Hacking keyboard, hand-lacquered in red and sprinkled with gold dust, only runs about $4,500 - but oh, those Japanese!  they know how to do things, don't they?  I can imagine the nasty things I'd shake out of my fingertips while stroking those deliciously wicked red keys, said to be painted with brushes made from the hair of virgins...I wonder how hard it is to type while bent over?  this keyboard makes me want to smoke opium with a swarthy gentleman in the captain's cabin of a merchant's galley from back in the day - surrounded by cushions of silks and brocades, velvets and furs, while the glow of candles from behind colored glass illuminated our bare flesh at our feast... 

well, I hope you've enjoyed this trip through the trivial and I believe I've wasted a sufficient amount of time procrastinating over what sort of keyboard would make me want to type my thesis more, but the truth is, the trouble isn't in the writing.  it's in the reading.  I don't want to do the necessary research.  I don't want to go into the ugly places and pull out the rot and stench that is festering there because it means having to do real work, and not bullshit my way through with finely-crafted prose that circles back on itself and says nothing.  but if I ignore the work much longer, the result will be disastrous - I can't afford that kind of blow to my confidence, I need to figure out a way to get this done.  there's too much on my plate as it is, and I'm feeling the need to simplify - tasks as simple as a healthy breakfast are falling by the wayside and sabotaging me before I even get out the gate.

hmm.  seems I've been talking about food a lot lately, maybe it's time to re-evaluate that relationship (again), now that winter will be coming on.  and did I mention that the hideous rash/scar on my right ankle is mostly gone, with barely a sign of it's passing (much like what happened with my elbows, about 20 years ago)?  I really think managing to finally graduate from college went a long way in healing that wound, and also the bear grease I anointed it with in the sweat lodge back in May.  much to think about, much to do and more.  must attend to the Quickening, my darlings, or there'll be no feet up by the fire with my cup of cocoa when the snows come, and I do so love the crisping of the air...

Saturday, September 15, 2012

why does the Universe love me today?

Freaking out about the housing situation seemed counterproductive, so I put 'having to move' on the back-burner because I had too many other pressing issues to deal with, and I managed get most of them handled, or at least enough to keep them from becoming overwhelming.  then I thought 'things are settling down a bit and falling into place - maybe I should take a look and see what's out there for apartments...'.  after a quick meander through the local paper and a craigslist search, I saw a few options worth contacting, but still didn't get right down to making any calls or anything, though I noticed the brand new, energy efficient, affordable housing units are accepting applications for when they are ready, probably this winter.  then my housing assistance angel called to remind me that I really should move soon ad that she was mailing me an application to the new, energy efficient, affordable housing units.  that was followed by a call from the woman whose apartment I had wanted to rent, but lost to the first people who looked at it - to tell me that they had changed their minds, and the place was still available if I was still looking.  how about that?  'signs point to yes', as my Magic 8 Ball used to say...

sight unseen, I thought I definitely wanted the woman's apartment - less than a mile from work, a mile to town, good bike riding neighborhood, good neighbors, accessible yard space...  I went to see it this afternoon with the boy, and I was less than impressed by the layers of workmanship that overlapped each other in close approximations of patch jobs that came up relatively short on all measures, but I spent enough time there visioning to see how - with some effort and determination - I could make it work.  it's a bit expensive for what it is, but I haven't called the manager back yet to tell her what I thought of it, and to discuss particulars, but...I was less sure I wanted it after seeing the place.  it makes sense in all the right ways, and it seems to have landed in my lap all nice and pat, so why question?  I should just move and be happy, right?  well, there's the new Commons, too, the affordable housing gig...

getting in to the Commons isn't a given, and they're not renting them 'til January or something.  we can move to town, and not quite unpack all our things, so if our number comes up for the new places, we can go check them out and decide when the time comes.  I think that's just the way it's gonna go.  I've lived in nicer places, but I've lived in worse ones, too (I think) - we are grateful for choices.  here's another:  there's a possibility that I might not be able to move on the first, in which case, I may lose the first apartment again, but there is another apartment in the same building that will be available by many things to consider, so many ways the dice could roll!  but the question remains, 'when do I get to be Home already?'  does that ever happen for people?  I suppose it must - yes, in fact I know a few of them, though not many.  so why do I feel like the Universe loves me today, any more than any other day?

I don't, really.  I think the Universe is mostly indifferent to my existence, but I had a thought to do something proactive, did it, and got some valuable information in the process.  then I got a call reminding me to be proactive about my situation, followed by another call (mostly) solving the original dilemma.  after that, I had a good talk with an old friend, then a quick chat with an older one, and I just felt like maybe I had finally come to ground after a long time falling down, and discovered a $100 dollar bill on the ground that I wouldn't have seen had I not tripped (hat tip to Rob Breszny's Aquarius horoscope from a few weeks back).  this whole process has reminded me of a time when I was venting to a friend about how I wanted people to acknowledge how hard I was working holding everything together, how well I endured the daily struggle.  she said she saw me as if I was paddling upstream in a canoe, against the current.  she wondered why I was working so hard when everything I wanted was downstream, and couldn't I just let the river carry me where I needed to go?

I feel a little like that now - like I'm sitting in my canoe on high alert, having put up my paddle, with my hands folded in my lap, waiting to see where my vessel gets to.  where will we come to ground?  there may soon be a mystery factor, or a particular enigma that may pass me by on the Home front, who knows - some shadows are too dark to see...  I choose to remain optimistic that there will be a porch for my rump to settle into a rocker on, one of these days, however many rooms I need to travel through before I get there.  it can't be too many more, now, there's been so many!  and maybe once the boy is grown, I can take a break from spaces altogether for awhile - won't that be refreshing?  though I'll be over 50 by then, for sure, and I certainly can't begin to guess how I may feel about anything most of a decade from now.  today, on the other hand, had more smiles than tears in it, and more hope than grief.  so that's all I'm gonna say about it for now, and hope I have a happy update soon enough.

Thursday, September 13, 2012

and so it goes...

You won't believe how long it took me to get here.  to the page, I mean.  to sit down in front of the computer and write.  there's so much in my mind, everyday, like I'm composing in my head for my thesis, but it sounds more like a blog post, which is fine, as long as it sounds like something and makes it from my head into some form of viable communication that can be shared and quantified.  it seems like a lot of stuff just happened at once, but actually it's been over the course of two months, and what I'm feeling is the quickening of the season, as the Autumnal Equinox is right around the corner.  my seasonal panic attack goes like this:  'omg, it's Rosh Hashanna already, then Yom Kippur and Sukkot, Equinox, Samhain, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, Solstice, New Year's, my birthday, the kid's birthday, then it's Spring already..!  see what I mean?  there's really no need for all that, but it doesn't stop me from cycling between tasks too frequently to get any of them done, and sabotaging myself into self-destructive behaviors (facebook and non-academic reading being the two biggest ones).

August seriously left me in the dust, with my landlady going all postal right before I left for Vermont, and I spent most of the week I got back trying to straighten out my living situation while catching up from being away and getting started on schoolwork.  it's not solved, but it's not quite so desperate as it was at the time.  coming home from having been so supremely spoiled at Goddard by the great food they turn out during the residency was not at all helpful to the process, as I can count on one hand the amount of decent meals that've emerged from my own kitchen, since.  brain fog is real, people, and I am suffering the effects as we speak.  so, after another week of job-searching, I landed the position I had my fingers crossed for - nothing big, just another farm stand, but it's work, and I could do a lot worse (and don't tell, but one of my overlords is the guitar player for a well-known punk band, and I find it hard not to be a mumble stumble fumble fangirl around him!).  then the little one went back to school, and I've been so caught up in learning how to navigate the rocky shoals of balancing my new employment with my Master's work, and the boy's school & after schedule that I neglected to do any actual work on my Master's much past the aforementioned 'composing in my head'...well, okay, I've done more than that, but not enough to send in and call a packet.

Today I finally made it to the page during the time I set aside to get some work done (miracles!), and two things happened:  1.  I felt the gnawing stabs of hunger in my belly and the nauseous, I'm-going-to-pass-out feeling in my head from being awake for 3 hours and not having eaten yet, and 2. my new job called and asked if I could come in for a few hours this afternoon.  Damn.   Damn Damn Damn.  I'm AT THE PAGE, I'm WRITING!  sigh.  I need the money...I went in the kitchen to eat something, had 1/4 of a cantaloupe, cleaned off the counter to get some rice started for dinner, ended up staring at all the dirty dishes needing cleaning - and totally forgot what I went in there for (brain fog).  then I started the rice, and ran back to finish this post so I could get ready to go in for a few hours.  but the cantaloupe wasn't enough, and while my belly isn't rumbling, my head is still feeling like it's getting crushed in a vice, so I think I'll have to go have a slice of bread with some peanut butter on it so I don't pass out at the store.  damn it.  I shouldn't have answered the phone...but I really needed to, didn't I?

I can tell myself that I'll get back to the writing later, and I will, but I'm concerned as to how tired I'll be when I get there.  after work, picking up the kids at karate, homework while cooking and eating dinner, then bath and bed for the young one...probably around 9pm?  10?  another big sigh.  I refuse to believe that it's too much, that I can't juggle it all.  I can.  I will.  I've got to find that momentum I felt at the residency, I need to get back to the academic reading (confession:  I'm on page 830 of a book that has nothing to do with my thesis).  time-management has never really been my strong point, I'm afraid...and now the alarm is telling me my writing time is done, and I need some protein in my system to help make ready to switch gears and go get paid at the farm store...ggrrraaaahhh!  self-sabotage, or self-preservation?  I dunno.  man, I'm hungry - hope I can get a snack at work.

*update:  it is now 9:30 pm, and I managed to wrap it up and get ready in time, worked my 4 hours (no snack), got the kids and did all that just like I laid it out this morning.  then I finally came back to the page.  this page, here.  the one you're reading...and fell asleep.  so, like I said, too tired to be any good to naught but my pillow, alas.  the books are right on my bed where I left them this morning, and now I'll go put them back on my desk so I can tumble into it and try again tomorrow ~

ABC Wednesday: I is for...


this sign has been in my life a long's traveled with me and hung on my wall since the early '90's, though it lived in the basement of my parents' house for most of my childhood, and I may have a vague memory of the day it came home with us.

As a kid, I went to sleep-away camp in the Catskill region of New York, near the area where my grandparents had a small cabin.  I remember being up there one summer, with my grandparents, by the lake where the summer camp took us water-skiing, and my grandfather saying how the building and property had belonged to one of his brothers or cousins or someone, and looking around the abandoned building and grounds with him. we found this sign, among other things, and took it with us -  all those years ago.
I thought I'd try this ABC Wednesday thing out, because I don't have enough to do... ; )