Thursday, November 1, 2018

Utter Nonsense Unworthy of Being Read

in accordance with my own parameters, I like to post here once a week as my own personal 'use it or lose it' boot camp.  I only posted twice this past month, and while I'm quick to forgive myself (because it's not like anyone really cares about this blog other than me), I'm still annoyed about it for it's place in the web of other tasks I didn't manage to complete in a timely fashion recently.  I have four drafts that I've been working on for varying amounts of time, according to their relative emotional difficulty to get out on the page, and my own laziness/busyness.  so in the interest of 'getting something out there', I'm going to whip up a list of:

"Things I Think About While Awake at 3am"

  1. why am I awake at 3am?
  2. should I go to bed, or will I just lie there with my eyes open, staring at the ceiling, thinking about everything I could be doing instead?
  3. how long will the logs in the woodstove burn?
  4. what music should I listen to?
  5. what is there to eat?
  6. can I just keep snacking on candy all night/morning?
  7. there are dishes in the sink that need doing.
  8. there is laundry that needs doing.
  9. my bathroom needs to be cleaned.
  10. I need to sign up for the parent-teacher conferences tomorrow.
  11. I need to pay all the overdue bills...somehow.
  12. I shouldn't eat any more candy.
  13. where's the cat?
  14. why didn't I know about that gig that cool band I like played?
  15. I hope everyone got home from Trick-or-Treating safely.
  16. the kitchen floor needs sweeping.
  17. I just ate another piece of candy.
  18. why do I have so much stuff?
  19. why do I censor myself?
  20. will I ever love again?
  21. does it matter, as long as I get to have sex?
  22. this isn't music I'm listening to - it's annoying noise.
  23. when will I finish that 3k-word story?
  24. my desk is a mess - I really need to spend a few hours doing paperwork.
  25. I don't think I'm going to be under 200 lbs. for my 50th birthday.
  26. I could be under 200 lbs. for my 50th birthday if I work really hard at it.
  27. why can't I think of myself as attractive if I'm fat?
  28. there are lots of beautiful fat people.
  29. why are all the people who contact me on dating websites sub-par (for me)?
  30. does that mean I'm sub-par?
  31. how do I up my game?
  32. why do I want to 'up my game'?  I don't have any 'game'.
  33. what is going on in that woodstove?
  34. I ate more candy...
  35. look at all the stuff I have to Read!
  36. it's November - time to batten down the hatches.
  37. should I get the cat a kitten?
  38. can I stop the horribly named restaurant from naming itself so horribly?
  39. will people help support me in getting them to cease and desist?
  40. 'when you're a Jet, you're a Jet all the way, from your first cigarette to your last dying day'!
  41. am I pretty?
  42. can someone please Tell me that I'm pretty?
  43. 42
  44. 27
  45. 18
  46. hut, hut, HIKE!
  47. the car is going to need new tires...
  48. I feel disconnected from my spiritual community.
  49. I often feel disconnected from my community.
  50. gotta pee!
I think that might be enough to knock me out for the next three hours before my alarm goes off, but we'll see...we'll see...


  1. You're beautiful and good-hearted. :-)

    1. aww, thanks so much! you must be looking in a mirror! ;)

  2. What Jane has said . Plus I enjoy your blog, even if I don't always comment. Back to lay down again... This damn stomach bug.

    1. oof - I wish you good health, my dear, thank you for taking the time to read and comment, even though you're under the weather! <3

  3. I need to wake up my blog again but lately I am actually using a journal or hand writing a blog of sorts. May just maybe I need to change it up and post here once a week. My problem was nobody was reading them or responding at all...

    1. I don't often get responses either, Dawn, but I'm not doing it for the response. I write because it's what I've always done to get thoughts out of my head, and onto the page where I can see them to work with them. to keep a record of my thoughts, feelings, and desires so I can go back to them, and tell myself what I need to hear. you do it because you need to. it's certainly a huge lift when people do choose to engage, but that's not my motivating factor. :)


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