Monday, June 4, 2018

Food Journaling

so far today (I don't know what times, I didn't keep track) - 2 slices Italian bread, 2 munchkins, pasta/red sauce/mozz., lettuce/cukes/red pepper w/creamy Caesar, 2 choc. ch. cookies.
7pm-ish - burger on a bun, hot dog on a bun, a few more cookies.
 > 8 water

9am - banana
12:15pm - mixed greens/carrot/red onion/cuke/croutons w/balsamic vinaigrette dressing, 1 slice Italian bread to sop up excess dressing.
5:45pm - tortellini w/pesto
8:30pm - carrot & cuke w/hummus, 3 cookies
9 water

I had a hard time sleeping last night - between the full moon, and having to get up to pee every 5 minutes...maybe I should have left off that last glass of water before I went to bed!  I've been pretty sore and achy for the past few days, and I'm putting it down to the three days of excess in terms of alcohol - which I hardly ever drink, even though I didn't have that much - burgers, dogs, pasta salads, cookies, and potato chips.  I don't feel at all ready to take on this 'Whole 30 challenge', but I'm going to do my best anyway, and go to the grocery store today with what little money I have, because we need food.  I also need to make a menu plan for the coming week, in order to be at least somewhat prepared to start this challenge off right. I'm on page 140 of the book, and their 7-day meal plan is on page 196, so I've been skipping ahead to get where I need to go (I didn't really have to read the chapter on pregnancy and nursing, anyway, and I only skimmed the ones on medical conditions, and vegetarians and vegans).

2:15pm - 2 plain hot dogs (no bun)
3:30 - black beans/corn/red onion/seasonings, ch. ch. cookie
9:15pm - Caesar salad (romaine, bacon bits, parm, dressing, croutons), French bread pizza
12am - ch. ch. cookie
4 water

Today is my last day to prepare for the big 'lifestyle change' I'm planning - I went shopping yesterday, and I wasn't able to get everything on my list at Hannaford (my main grocery store), so I'm going to have to make a run to Sunflower (the 'health food' store) today to pick up some coconut milk, a jar of roasted red peppers, and some spaghetti squash...which is out of season, so I'll probably have to think up an alternative.  Unfortunately, there isn't enough money left in my checking account to cover another incredibly important expense, so I have to transfer some over from my savings, which is going to leave me in dire straits, considering the work opportunity I wasn't able to take advantage of this coming weekend due to single parenting - I simply can't bring myself to leave the teen home alone for a 10+ hour stretch, or make him come with me and have nothing to do for hours on end, then make him work 3 additional hours with me at another job.  I really hope my child support kicks back in, soon, so I can see this program all the way through - I hate relying on it for essentials, but work has been sparse, and other commitments have kept me from my 'full-on hustle' recently.  I feel like I have several full-time jobs, and in order to move through my day effectively, I can only do a few of them, which means they ALL suffer. the life I chose!

12:15 - the last two chocolate chip cookies, yaaay!  considering I've been up since 6am, it's obviously not the best choice to be the first thing I put in my body, but at this point, I'm so hungry, I just want to EAT NOW and to hell with the rest.  also, I want them gone.  but this is the heart of what I'm aiming at, here - learning what a healthy relationship with food looks like, and making it a priority in my life.  it was a bit hard to tell the kid that we wouldn't be buying any of the treats we were accustomed to at the grocery store yesterday, but I only had so much money, I've been telling him for weeks that I/we were doing this thing, and that for 14 years, now, the majority of my food decisions have been based around his tastes and preferences, so for the next 30 days, I am going to be selfish, and make it about me for once.  that's it.  he gets it, and he also not only knows how to cook, he is well aware of the fact that I will Not be holding him to the same restrictions I will be observing - he is free to make his own choices, and I hope he will choose to pay more attention to the relationship he is forming with food, as well.
3:15pm - grapes
7:15 - French bread pizza, French fries, 1/2 pint Ben & Jerry's Chocolate Therapy ice cream.  how's that for a 'night before the cleanse' dinner?  I left it up to the kid, and that's what he wanted, so that's what we had.  I'm pretty full...but tomorrow, I get after it!
3 1/2 water

Tonight I made mayonnaise, which is a first, because I don't eat it, but I will this month!  I messed it up, though, because I used extra-virgin olive oil where I was supposed to use light, so...oh well, the taste is a bit strong.  live and learn.  with that, and some coconut cream - which I made by putting coconut milk in the fridge (So Good!) - I made ranch dressing.  I took a dive on clarifying the butter I had in the fridge and just bought ghee, and also made tomato sauce.  that'll help get me going over the next few days, and there's more to do, but all in good time.  just keeping my fingers crossed that I can sustain financially, because I'd hate to not succeed due to poverty!

today's the day!  I got up once in the night, but I went to bed a bit early for me, and woke up hungry this morning.  breakfast is supposed to happen within one hour of waking (I was up at 6am, and it's now 7:22am), and I've planned to make a spinach frittata with fruit and a 'healthy fat'.  here I go ~
8:15 - frittata w/red onion, tomato, & spinach; grapes; almonds
1:30pm -'protein salad' of ground turkey, homemade mayo, salt, pepper, lemon juice, sliced grapes, celery, red onion, slivered almonds, on a bed of baby lettuce, with homemade ranch dressing; banana
7:15 - beef with homemade tomato sauce; spaghetti squash
5 water (I decided to start counting the water to get a more accurate idea of how much I'm drinking, in 14 oz. increments, which turned out to be even more than I thought!)

I feel amazing - so proud of myself for doing this!  which is apparently a feeling I should hold on to, because according to the 'timeline', tomorrow and/or the next day I will feel 'hung over', and for the next few days after that, I will want to murder everyone and everything, so...yaay?

9:30am - leftover beef w/tomato sauce; scrambled egg
2:45pm - leftover protein salad in bell pepper; carrot, celery, & apple slices w/homemade ranch for dipping
7:45pm - chicken with roasted red pepper mayonnaise;  roasted potatoes; green cabbage slaw
7 water

tired, brain foggy, tummy in distress...yup, I just want to go back to bed and skip today.  I got up once in the night, and woke up an hour earlier than usual (5am).  I still haven't eaten (8:30am), and I don't want to.  bleh.
9:15am - small amount of leftover dinner (chicken, potatoes, pepper mayo).  I feel gross and pukey.
1:45pm - leftover meat/sauce; scrambled eggs; carrot & celery sticks w/ranch; grapes, slice of apple
7:15pm - spicy beef; roasted broccoli & cauliflower; bite or two of cabbage slaw 
5 water

so there it is - a full week of food journaling.  I guess I've done pretty well so far, these first few days...I feel good, I'm committed to the process, and I'm staying connected to other folks who are using the same guidelines via the Whole30 website forums.  I haven't been snacking between meals, I've been having meals - 3 per day, sitting at the table - and cooking up a storm.  I've discovered some new tastes, increased my menu options, burned the veggies once (ate them anyway), and discovered that steamed spinach is pretty gross (why would you do that to spinach?  I prefer it raw!).  my rough eczema patches are already clearing up, though my right toes are still kind of itchy most of the time.  I think my body is starting to adjust to the increased protein and fiber, and hopefully has begun the process of learning to use fat as energy rather than sugars.  I want to say I feel less bloated, but I'm not sure on that one.  hey, it's only been 3 full days and one meal, so far, which means there are still 80 meals, or 26 2/3 days, and several mood swings to go.  While I should be past the 'hangover' phase, I may be in the 'Kill all the things' mode, or having moved through that to the 'I just want a nap' chapter.  next, I'm expecting to transition into 'NOOO!  my pants are TIGHTER' mode before I get to 'The hardest days', so we'll see how it goes (if I can even manage to keep myself in food). if you've been following along, I'm curious as to your thoughts and feelings about my journey thus far, and look forward to your insights, criticisms, and congratulations.  see you next week!

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