bs post I wrote last week and didn't 'publish' because I knew it was bs...

well, my table came this morning, and I'm so happy.  it's nice to have a place to sit down and eat a meal in my own apartment without having to balance the plate on my lap.  there are still boxes everywhere, and probably will be for awhile, but that's just because I don't have any shelves for books, clothes, or chachkis!  I'm also grateful for the day off of work - I've been needing to catch my breath from all the activity.  I'm so proud of myself; even if I'm tooting my own horn, so be it.  I sent my stuff over,  I moved here, I'm learning the language, and I got a job in just under four months.  now, I'm nowhere near an expert in anything, yet, I'm just pointing out how I'm taking the proper steps to get where I need and want to be.  

 

the job isn't bad, but it does take a lot of physical energy - everything takes a lot of energy when it gets hot - and it's only halfway through May.  Hebrew school also takes a lot of energy, but it's obviously more mental energy.  I wonder sometimes if my mind is still elastic enough to pick up another language, and I'm glad it's not completely new to me...I think it helps to have heard it throughout my life.  that said, I can't understand most of what the kids I'm working with say to me!  I ask them to repeat what they say more slowly, but we often don't manage to connect.  it's fun when we do, though!

 

random internet stock photo of kids

 

I'm worried about money, because I finally had to break into that last $1000 I had in my American bank account.  there's nothing I can do right now about needing groceries, and payday apparently comes once a month.  knowing how Israeli paperwork goes, I'm not hopeful that the process of receiving my first paycheck will go quickly or smoothly, but we will see.  I should probably find out of there's a food bank somewhere.  in the event that you enjoy this blog, feel free to 'gift me a hot chocolate' through the link in the sidebar.  or just click HERE.  I would really appreciate it, and thanks in advance.  I'm happy to exchange any donations for a tarot reading, if you leave a comment on this post with a method of getting in touch with you.  or, just click HERE. 

www.paypal.com/paypalme/mysteriamb

 

I was off of work because it was Lag BaOmer Thursday night and Friday - which is celebrated for being the 33rd day of counting the days between Passover and Shavuot, and other reasons you're free to look up because I don't feel like doing it for you.  I just sort of assumed things were closed, so stayed home putzing around my apartment, not taking into account that it was also Shabbat, and anything I didn't get from the store right now I would be without until after work hours on Sunday (unless I can squeeze in a trip before work tomorrow).  I need to put ALL the Jewish holidays on my calendar, now.  so while I finally figured out that the grocery stores were open during the day (it's apparently more of a school holiday than a national holiday), I didn't have the motivation to get to one before they closed for Shabbat.  oh well. good thing I bought that bag of pasta!

now that I shouldn't/can't/don't want to splurge on things like pedicures, I wish I had brought my nail polishes, the polish remover, the pumice stone, and the little toe separators.  there was definitely room for them in the lift, and it would have been a few less items for me to re-buy.  I could of course go without cute toenails, but it's worth the small amount of time and energy invested towards my own joy.

I really do dig my little apartment and hope I can stay here long enough to make it 'feel like home', whatever that means.  for me, it may just mean having a place for everything, a bunch more plants, and feeling comfortable enough to invite people over to chill...(having people to invite over to chill).  the only thing I'm missing is money.  I definitely wish I hadn't had to spend so much of my savings before I left the States so I had more to spend over here, but c'est la vie, and I encourage you once again to drop me a $10, $25, or $100 hot chocolate tip to help keep me afloat while I'm undergoing the stress of assimilating to living, working, and studying in a new country!  and leave a comment - let me know you're here, reading along.  thanks ~

lessons

and in those moments, when the plan becomes clear

shoulders release and neck rolls

down your spine to

shimmy your hips

in the garden

"bro, 

let's build a house 

on the parents' farm.  

for our generations."

lesson.

 

to be fair, I got to smoke some weed the other day, for the first time since smoking the last hit in my stash from Vermont.  lit the bat as soon as the exit appeared on the road to the airport, and put it in my purse where it's been since then.  I know the airport security dog was looking at me and it definitely made me nervous, but I was looking back at her, and she didn't seem concerned enough about me to alert her humans who were having what I assumed to be their regular morning work chat.  so I basically went 'cold turkey' for the past 3 1/2 months from being a chronic smoker most of my adult life to no attitude adjustment at all.  how about that?  

 

 

honestly it seemed like a good idea to have my head on as straight as possible while trying to immigrate to another country, and I'm glad I have, but MAN.  I've had some tense moments.  enough that I've considered buying some alcohol just to have enough to drink with my dinner to loosen up a little.  I guess I still - and will always - prefer weed over alcohol, since that summer of...1985?

when I smell herb on the streets I'll look around to see if I can catch a vibe off of whoever's smoking it, if I can even find them on the sidewalk, or sitting at a table as I'm walking past.  obviously by my writing it, that hadn't happened yet.  I had the opportunity to hop on a bus tour for 15nis ($4 and change), so I went.  we were stopped to patronize the local breakfast joint when I smelled that particular perfume on my way back to the bus, so I walked over and asked the folks if I could hit what they were smoking, and they gave me the tail end of their joint.  hoo-rah.

 

 

and my lift arrived, and my staffs - wrapped in my tapestries - were missing, and I was losing my mind so I called the international shippers and lost my mind on them, then called the Vermont shippers and left them a piece of whatever might have been left.  and to both of their credit, my missing pieces was located quickly, and plans are being made on how to get them to me as soon as possible.  I am incredibly pleased to have the emotional hug of seeing my treasured belongings on this side of the sea, with a special nod to those that came from here, embodied within them the energies of those I hold dear.  really, the missing package was no big deal, even though it was my whole heart, and I didn't need to yell at them.  I could have asked nicely, and the outcome would have been the same.  lesson.

 

 

 

then I couldn't find my loom which I had been concerned about since before leaving the States.  I told myself I would find it when I opened the box again in Israel, but when I opened the box and searched it, the loom was not there.  luckily, in thinking about where else I might have put it, it was found.  yay!  lesson.

a person on the tourist trip reminded me that we have more power to 'choose our own adventure' than we realize.  and I realize that everything is going to be ok, and I am going to make my way and fulfill my purpose here.  everything I've done and experienced up until this moment has led me here.  To The Promised Land, lol!  trust the process.  I have some more healing to do.  lesson ~

I'm so proud of me.

☆  ★ ☀ ✨🌕✨ ☀ ★  ☆