Tuesday, October 18, 2011

A Good, Clean Vent

I had expected the email from my mother, as we're supposed to have another one of those court ordered dinner dates tomorrow night.  I was not ready for my reaction to what it said.  I'm going to copy and paste the relevant text here, so you can all tell me I'm crazy, and that I should let it go:

"So are we on for tomorrow? It is supposed to be

rainy and icky. Alternatively we could move our

time to saturday or sunday if you are free and

then we could spend a little more time together.

Let me know what you would like to do."
Seems innocuous enough, right?  Well, it apparently set off every trigger I have, and I was unable to respond past saying that it was full of triggers, and I couldn't respond right now...  What triggers, you wonder?  Well, let's start with the 'are we on'.  OF COURSE we're ON!  Why wouldn't we be?  I made PLANS with her, and my CHILD is EXPECTING her!!!  This is a pet peeve of mine that she is particularly adept at tripping over - there are YEARS worth of 'I'll call you tomorrows' that turned into next month.  Obviously a promise to me - and now, to my child - means nothing.  Just words filling up space.  Another way of telling us that we're less than important.  It's supposed to RAIN?!?!  THAT'S a good enough excuse to blow off the grandson that you just spent THOUSANDS of dollars dragging my ass through court to see?  She just bought a BRAND NEW CAR, which I'm sure has BRAND NEW tires and BRAND NEW brakes and wipers, and she can't handle the rain?!?!?!  While I was forced to make multiple trips down to the courthouse in my broken-down DEATH machine, that I have to put my child in every other day or so just to do the laundry and the grocery shopping - not to mention my poor client!  My brakes are GONE, my tires are SHOT, I have a piece of PLASTIC for a WINDOW, and I have to climb in and out through the passenger's side because my door is SMASHED IN - driving my vehicle in bad weather is a truly terrifying experience, and SHE can't handle a little rain...  So I told her we were busy this weekend, which we are.  We have two parties to attend, one of which has been on the calendar for a month, now, and the other is a friend's birthday party - tough luck, Grandma, sucks for you.  Hang on, another email just came in - - -
It says she'll be here tomorrow at 5.  NOW the challenge is to accept that gracefully, and not hit her with, "don't do me any favors", or "if you're sure you can handle it".  But now I'm all riled up and angry, and need to find a way to calm down...I do realize that I need to accept the occasional 'something suddenly came up' (nod to The Brady Bunch), but after so many years of being blown off for the littlest thing, I suppose I'm still a bit raw.  I'd rather not have to do this at all, as it's really more of a favor to her, but I agreed to it, and if nothing else, it's one night a month that I don't have to cook dinner.  Right?  Right.  Glad I got that out.  Now, to get through the dinner...


  1. Keep breathing kiddo, keep breathing. Take the high road, and remember that the reason she can push all those buttons so well is because she's the one who installed them. You've won, you can afford (metaphorically speaking) to take the high(er) road.


  2. MS via fb

    "hmmm..and you think I have issues? LOL. Stay strong."


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