Friday, January 22, 2010

To work, then...

So I wrote the proposal, sent a draft to Bob, with a preliminary outline.  I guess the next step is to powerslam my way through 'Nexus', get it all down in one usable form, fast as I can!  Bust out a list of equipment and the associated costs - and go look up Kinko's in the phone book.  And compile a reading list, Egads!

AND Bob got back to me much faster than I thought, so revising the proposal as well...

My grandfather has a digital camera, maybe I could borrow it?  Should I put one of those 'all work copyright to me' things on here?  I should call my grandfather, he fell down the other day...

But what I REALLY want to do is get the house ready for my party!  Just some cleaning, and a touch of decorating, burn some incense and play music...  It's a grey rainy day, and that sucks, because I don't really like grey rainy days.  Well, it depends on the context.  I guess I don't mind them so much in Spring or Fall, but in Summer they're usually hot and muggy as well, and in Winter they're days to crawl back in the cave and hibernate.  Anyway.  Guess I'll keep saving this draft, maybe publish it at the end of a few days, after something interesting happens!

Happy birthday to me!  Well, nothing exciting happened.  BF and I drove up to Hurley, NY yesterday to procur a bottle of locally crafted absinthe for my party on Saturday, but alas, they were out of stock!  We had to settle for the Mata Hari, but it's all good.  I'm not really sure who all's showing up this year, seems pretty slim...ah, it'll be fun, it always is!  I have to assume K's not coming, as per his fb post about G's passing, sad to hear.  And I see also on B's fb page that she has a gig with P on Sunday, so I can't assume he'll be here Saturday night...which means no D as well.  Just a mellow one, I guess!


Thursday, January 14, 2010

Ugh. Awake at 1:30 in the morning...

Went to bed at 6:30, maybe 7:00? The kid came and crawled in next to me, even though I knew I'd be up later. So he's lying there behind me, computer-glow splashed across his cheek, as I tap tap away at the keyboard, wondering if it's worth trying to say something. It's that stillness, the one I seek so often in this crazy traffic-land community, and I feel restricted in it - because I wanted to write something. Because the Morning Pages have been lovely, and reading over all that old crap was depressing, and I want there to be something new.

The labyrinth stuff is great, and I think it's very important as a vehicle to understanding myself, but it's less the meat of a study than the potatoes. Or perhaps the veggies... Oh, yes, I like that.

It's really about this Nexus thing, isn't it? Getting it done, and seeing what I've got. It's about digital imaging, god help me, and self-publishing. Making books. It's about studio shots of ladies getting to know themselves, and understanding what that means. We will reveal our secrets...

                                            I am a Goddess of Dark Places

                            in blood, and in sacrifice. I am your Holy Anger.

                  I am not I but Her

through me, She dances my feet

        coiling snakes through my spine.

                                      Wound through the fire at every turn

                     drawn into it -


    in waves

        where the winds blow.

Excellent. That was worth something. So the meat is Nexus, the potatoes will be my foray into more modern imaging methods and print options. Kinko's, here we they even HAVE Kinko's here? And I've got my veggies...actually, now that I think about it, I'd like to rethink my food analogy. The labyrinth is more like the fruit, imaging is the veggies, and Nexus is the whole grains. Tune in next week for body mind and spirit brownies! If only...

A two page proposal, that's all it is. A healthy breakfast. A clear and focused thought. Yum.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

What is that, velvet?

My alarm is about to go off, but I just wanted to tag the page, so I would know it was waiting here for me when I had a chance to get back...oop, there it is!

60 Revolutions per minute / this is my regular speed...So. Done at the Orchard, collecting unemployment, getting organized for school. A year at Goddard to knock out that project, then on to better things. It's a lot to organize, there's a big pile of it - a big, steamy, pile! Sorry, that was gross. But seriously, there's so many things to look over, to see what's relevant, to find a grip. Ah, it feels good to be! Just this time of year, when the Sun reminds me he is here, with the frozen promise of his smile, waking and shaking off December...the winter long from over, but coming out the other side of it, seeing to Spring. Francelia, with her 'did you hear the greening?'.

I've been procrastinating on my thesis proposal, because opening those files with those words in them will be like unsealing a casket, with the vacuous release of dust, as if a mummy from it's tomb...ancient and dangerous secrets, records of stillbirths, echoing down halls. To throw my mind into the shadows of that hallway, and bring out a speck of what was once worth something, a heartbeat, a life. Repairing a fence.

Getting a lot done in the meantime of avoiding it, though - nothing that would get me a degree or a job or anything, but productive nonetheless! O.k., time to face the dead...

Sunday, January 3, 2010

Trying out a new template

Tell me if you like it! I haven't decided quite yet, but the old one was starting to bug me a bit... There was another one I liked just as much, but short of having someone 'do it' for me, this is the best it's gonna get, I fear! I guess I'll try this out for a bit, and see how I feel. I can always change it!

Hmmm. I see my timestamp has gone back to being 'undefined', which is the same problem I had the LAST time I tried to change my template... Maybe it just needs some time to straighten itself out. Yeah, I'll go with that for now...for now.